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I AM A LOSER



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I can hardly believe that its been only 3 1/2 weeks. i feel like its been forever. i kinda almost feel normal again. sorta...just wielding a smaller plate haha. I went back last week and have lost a total of 31 pounds since pre op and have had to do a little shopping. And I say a little, cuz i dont wanna buy too much, only to have to buy more again later. but it felt sooooo good going into surgery as a size 24, and sliding into a size 20 jeans last week. i was ecstatic. i cant believe that i am disappearing. i almost couldnt believe it. those 2 sizes made me feel invincible....and as silly as it sounds...i feel...sexy, cute, and dare i say...pretty. i walk with my head up, i slowly feel my confidence coming back. and its great. i cut and colored my hair, totally different than before. i probably sound like a loon lol. but i have zero regrets doing this. wait....maybe one...lol....my chest is disappearing HAHAHA. thats my only complaint. but i am hoping that once i am to my goal weight, it will all balance out. lol...told you guys, i am silly. but i have never been more proud to say I AM A LOSER!!!!

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AWESOME!!!! Isn't it the BEST feeling! The other night I was trying on clothes and the ones that were TIGHT are no longer TIGHT!!! I was prancing through the house and my daughter (who lost 115 on her own) said I wished I could be like you. You lose a few pounds and act like you are SKINNY....I lose 115 and still feel fat! I told her it's all in the MIND and you are skinny now!!! PLUS, I told her NOT TO RAIN ON MY PARADE!!!! LOL She just laughed at me!!

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lol i cleaned out my whole closet. anything i had for summer from last year...going to thrift. making some money to buy new ones! its SO much fun to try stuff on and the feeling you get is euphoric. yes, she needs to rain somewhere else lol lol...but 115 pounds is quite a task, and she should feel gorgeous too. to her i say....YOU ROCK! haha.

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Woohoo! That is totally awesome! Going down in size is even better than losing pounds in my humble opinion. I can't wait for the day I reach goal weight, and I can finally do some serious shopping. Right now I own two pairs of pants, because I'm too cheap to buy any more knowing that I'll lose out of them soon. Isn't it exciting!

In high school I weighed about 285. When I was in my early 20's, I lost over 100 pounds on my own to get down to 165 which is the lowest I've ever weighed in my entire adult life. One marriage and three kids later, I ranged from 205 to 220 depending on the season (Summer - 205, Christmas - 220). I saved two clothing items from my 165 days. A pair of size 14 jeans and a pencil skirt, which were my first and only regular store (non lane bryant) clothing purchases. The other day I tried them on, and they fit comfortably...almost a little big! What a moment! I can't believe I'm back at my lowest weight ever...and even better...I'm going to smash that former record into the ground!

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That is so exciting! I can wait, congrats! And yes, tell that daughter she is beautiful no mater what!

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