Update on Surgery against my Will

[**LaSaJaTa** 4]

Suck it up!! You made a decision, you signed the papers. It's nobody's fault but yours! Grow up... Your husband did not drag you down to the hospital, and nobody held you down while they prepared you for surgery. Jeesh...enough already. Get some help to deal with your "other" issues.

[chilo1 62]

Suck it up!! You made a decision, you signed the papers. It's nobody's fault but yours! Grow up... Your husband did not drag you down to the hospital, and nobody held you down while they prepared you for surgery. Jeesh...enough already. Get some help to deal with your "other" issues.

God, I thought I was the only one who thought like this, I'm glad I'm not alone, I was starting to feel like a horrible person, but in the end we are grown ups and nobody can "force" us to do anything!

[**LaSaJaTa** 4]

Cheers Chilo1...

[goodlife 3]

Carrie...let's break it down here.

What about your sleeve are you unhappy with? Your surgery went well...you've recovered perhaps a bit slowly but you are recovered/recovering. You should be on to soft foods by now..mushies, and whatnot. Maybe even more than that. That's more than you've been able to do for how long now while you were on a mostly liquid diet?

You wanted the band out and you didn't want to regain all the weight you had lost plus some. You now have a tool to keep that from happening and you will lose more weight and become more healthy.

What about any of that makes you unhappy?

Try to separate the issues...because they are totally different. The how's and why's you ended up having the surgery when you did has nothing to do with the reason why you initially decided on having the revision. I read in another thread where you said if you had been given the option you would have had the plication done instead. Do you think THAT would have given you a different outcome or a different attitude? The post op stuff is all still the same. There are no benefits of having that procedure over the VSG except you're left with a lot of useless (probably dying) stomach tissue in there. Sorry...that just creeps me out.

Many of us have suggested to you that you need to see someone professionally to deal with all these different issues you have. You've not responded in any way (that I've seen) to that advice. Why is that? You're mad at your husband, you're mad at the anasthesiologist, you're mad at your body, and that is just not healthy. You HAVE to deal with those issues...

I also read how you're on several different medications...some prescribed by a pain management doctor. So basically you're taking narcotics to deal with a pain issue..you didn't say how much you're taking or how that affects you, but perhaps that could be a contributor to your mental state as well...especially coupled with likely out of whack hormones following surgery.

How are you spending your days? Are you staying in bed all day feeling angry and sorry for yourself? Are you spending time with your children...taking care of them...taking them outside to play...taking them on outings, whatnot?

If you want to leave the boards and take a break...then do it. But support isn't about just saying poor poor Carrie...she's a total victim here. Support and friendship is about saying the tough things that maybe you don't want to hear but NEED to hear. You say you did this for your kids, because you want to be healthy for them and be there for them. Well....what are you waiting for? Deal with your issues so you can move on and BE healthy for your kids. Because you know what? They deserve to have a WHOLE mom.

All of us here truly want the best for you....I hope you believe that.

[DougNichols 124]

God, I thought I was the only one who thought like this

No, I too find it funny that:

- Everybody is to blame for her surgery, except for Carrie.

- She removed her profile picture and changed gender to "unspecified" immediately after she began heavily complaining. I can see removing a pic, but the gender thing made me giggle.

- The moment people point out the silliness of her statements, she goes into hiding for a few days. Not only that, but she announces that she's leaving so we'll somehow feel guilty about how evil and mean we are. Then she comes back and posts the same topic with a different title, to test the waters.

It just seems like she's demanding support and attention from an internet bulletin board. When realistically she needs some family or friends, or better yet - probably a counselor at this point if she's genuinely having mental issues.

All the above is just my opinion, please don't sue me too.

[mp8btpc 32]

I think overall I made less of a fuss after they almost killed me with a medication error on my first surgery attempt. At least I moved forward quickly.

I feel for her feelings of violation if she tried to back out of the surgery. I just think it is time to stop being so angry. Make the complaints, hell file the lawsuit but all in all stop being a victim. Take your power back and stand up and say, I wont let this break me!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Finally. I was starting to feel like we were just feeding into the attention-seeking with our sympathies. If a mother of small children is struggling with issues as great as these I can only hope that professional help is sought. I knew something was up when she mentioned that the police were involved because of her, nightmares? Red flag.

[chilo1 62]

Well I'm glad I didn't get"jumped at" I just thought that I had to say what i always felt came through her posts and blogs, total negativity, i did on one of her posts or blogs recommend that she should get the band removed and NOT get the sleeve done, just wait and see how she felt about it. As a doctor I know very well that mood, state of mind, etc does really affect outcome of surgery, healing, pain etc. She obviously ignores peoples reccomendations/opinions when they don't suit her. I do think she needs professional help and I hope she gets it. She suffers from various conditions, epilepsy, fibromyalgia, I'm surprised she qualified for the sleeve in the first place. I do hope she finds resolution to her issues and can accept what she's done and get on with her life. I truly wish her the best.

[cwalker 12]

I agree,file a lawsuit or compaint if that brings her closure but "put on your big girl panies and deal with it" because it is what it is. Live life and enjoy your family. This is just my opinion. Haing said that-Good Luck and I hope you find inner peace.

Edited September 11, 2010 by cwalker
spelling

[Donna T 0]

I agree,file a lawsuit or compaint if that brings her closure but "put on your big girl panies and deal with it" because it is what it is. Live life and enjoy your family. This is just my opinion. Haing said that-Good Luck and I hope you find inner peace.

Well said! Except for hopefully now she (and we all ) can wear "little girl panties":001_tt2:

[SouthernSleever 228]

She might be dealing with issues and I get that. It isn't my place to come here and judge her or make her feel worse. Seems like a lot of ppl who come on this board and have a negitive experience are told to suck it up and move on. Some of you have had things happen to you such as MP8 and that's great that you were able to move on but to have someone do something to your body against your will, even if you agreed and set the actions in motions, is a violation of you and your body. I would never speak to a friend of mine this way if she were having a hard time.

[mp8btpc 32]

Help me help you! That is the theme here. You can't do it for someone they have to help themselves. We all supported her feelings of violation but I think we ultimately choose in this life if we are going to be happy. I think she is choosing to sink further into her despair and blaming everyone and anyone else. I know this is natural and my goal is not to make her feel worse but to tighten her boot straps and be strong. Decide I am going to be happy! I am going to move forward and I am not going to let this dictate the quality of my life!

There is also nothing wrong with seeking a doctor for some medication if she is in a depression but do something.

Edited September 11, 2010 by mp8btpc

[Carrie 4]

Again I'm sorry I have posted here. I feel that because I am anti-sleeve and had a bad experience this isn't the place for me. I won't pollute you forum with anymore requests for support because the Lord knows I'm one in a million with this.

Best of luck to the rest of you.

[mp8btpc 32]

Best of luck

[dbrjredd 0]

Carrie, I'm so sorry for your ordeal...but may I say that everytime I read your posts you say you're gonna stay away & not post anymore, but you always seem to come back & tell everyone how they don't understand. I, myself, have not been sleeved yet, but I find the people on this site very caring & full of information. I think they have gone above & beyond to try & sympathize with you. Instead of shooting them down, why don't you try to listen & maybe take some of their advice. I think you might really feel better about life if you would get some help! Praying you find the peace & comfort you need to get on with your life.