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Hubby Doesn't want Wife to work



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Ok, what about his character. Does he possess the character traits of a man who will provide good examples for your children? Will he be selfish? Will he cut corners where ethical choices are involved? Will you be disappointed in his attitudes about ethics? Do you trust him to be the head of your family? Do you love him?

The rest will develop out of love and trust.

OK So lets still all remember I have only been with thie man for 3 mnth- 2 of which I was out of state. Allbeit that we spend nearly everyday & nite together.

**Awesome Character for raising children(about 90% the same as mine)of what I know.

**Not selfish in the very very least- just the opposite(which gets him into trouble -always doing for others & not enough for himself)

**Ethical/moral- Dead on with my views-100%

**Heading up the family- Looks like that would be a "yes" so far. Still watching & learning.

**Do I love him- not there yet but falling slowly- too scared to go one way or the other still. Its too soon for me. He is already there 100%

If the rest will develope over time w/trust/love & belief than maybe I have answered(with all of your help) my own question. HMMMMMM?

3Loves-- Our polital views all though conversations have been breif seem to be the same. Raising children nearly dead-on. And w/religion he attends has much has he can with me when not working 7 days a week. He loves to go to church & said it would be a huge priortiy when & if we marry. So I guess those are all good.

I also really love the fact that he is practically a non drinker & doesn't do drugs. His eating habits are what drive me nuts;0)

DevilMayKare- :D LOL- I wasn't asking the Lord to send me a man with money- LOL-:D What I was asking, more like telling God, was that I will trust whom he has choosen for me. I just wasn't sure if this was the man or since I had dated so little if I should look more & it would be so great if he were finacially stable. No one I have really ever dated has been.

BUT your guy's question about why is he finacially unstable is really a GREAT one. It isn't do to his lack of trying or ethics. It is FOR SURE 1000% do to the fact that he has a poor business sence & what I would judge has horrible time management.

One more thing that I think would be good information is that he has never once asked me for money or help. I like spending some of my free time with him on the road at jobs so I have gone but its been strickly by my own accord. If he did ask for a loan this early in our relationship I really would be out the door. He actually handed me $40.00 yesterday & said it was to help with the laundry & bottled Water he'd been using at my home. This is the second time he has chipped in for that. Allbeit I was the one who did originally mention that this wasn't a free hotel where he drops off laundry & eats/drinks for free-- so even though he got the message from me at least he stepped up to the plate.

I love hearing what you all say/think.....the good bad & the ugly. Penni you'd never hurt my feelings- You know me I want to hear what everone says always but in the end I'll always do what I want anyhow- its just fun to see everyone's outlook. :rolleyes:

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Christina ~ It sounds to me like you are very well grounded and have thought deeper about this than we all originally thought in the beginning of this thread. You have covered some imporant points in what your looking for. I do wish you all the best and please keep us posted on what develops.....you have my interest in this love story. :love:

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I do wish you all the best and please keep us posted on what develops.....you have my interest in this love story. :love:

Me, too! I can't wait to see how this all turns out! Awwwwww!!!!!

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Christina, he sounds like a really great guy. The only thing is that if you want to be a stay at home mom, he may not be the right guy for that, OR he may not be the right guy for you to stay at home at FIRST, but then later you can. OR, what do you do for a living (when you are working)? I would love to be a stay at home mom, that can work from her computer at home when she needs to. I'd rather have that then just being the stay at home mom, cuz then I'd have other stuff to do during the day while the kids are at school (assuming the house is clean, lol).

;)

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I was always premise sales for marketing & advertising. Prior to those 10 yrs I was a Fine arts gallery director for 5 years. So nothing that is stay home applicable. But one never knows what can change.

It has really been on my mind alot lately - my relationship. He knows everything I think & feel b/c I am 100% truthful & upfront with him. Thats the good part. The bad part is I know he'll eventually get his feelings hurt, if I date others. Even though he tells me to go & do it so its out of my system. I don't wish to hurt him ever, but he knows I am not going to be closing any other doors right now & yet he still stays. He is a grown man so as long as I am truthful to him, he makes his own choices.

I told him, that if we were still this tight a year from now that I would close all doors & we could make a commitment to one another. I figure if my heart leads me no where BUT back to him after a full year/plus that he is the right choice. AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I AM GOING TO THINK FOR NOW ;0)

Thank you all for your thoughts, I promise to keep you updated as things progress. A Massive part of me would love this to work out simply b/c dating "lets face it" sucks.LOL LOL SO do relationships at times- LOL LOL Looks like its hard to win either way-- LOL LOL HA HA HA I Am cracking myself up right now...OMG way too much coffee for me this morning.

Chow!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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