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im new and been scared of this for years



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I have been over weight all my life. I was 16 when i was in a abusive mental and psychically also emotionally relationship so when we broke up i went in a deep depression in gained about100 lbs then i had a 10 lb baby girl and gained a bout 80 now she is 4 and i probably have gained 50 more. i wanted to get it after i had my daughter because i hit 300 i couldn't belive that was my highest weight the doctor wouldn't do the referral cause she thought i could lose weight on my own since i was weighing in every week and kept loosing weight i guess back then u had to be able to prove you couldn't lose weight. so it's been 3 years and im not losing weigh just gaining i feel i have a medical problem but all my test came back fine. for those three years i have just been scared to do the surgery. i don't know what to expect im afriad i won't be able to take care of my 4 year old:crying:that is my biggest fear. and i can't rest i heard you have to rest i mean i do and will have help from my grandma she the only person but i don't want to stress her out. i need sum support bad from you people please if you want to email me i have yahoo it's mzbashful05@yahoo.com

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Having any type of surgery is nerve-wracking. Really, I had to weigh the risks of being fat for the rest of my life vs. the minimal risk of surgery. I, too, had zero health issues related to my morbid obesity. I'm 5'2" tall, and my starting pre-sleeve weight was 263.

At that weight I could not conceive children with my husband, I could not walk around the mall for more than an hour without my knee throbbing, and even though I didn't have any high blood pressure, cholesterol issues, or diabetes, another 10 years and not being able to get the weight off and keep it off, it was inevitable that I would be on meds for multiple co-morbidities if I didn't get surgical intervention.

I had surgery so I would be around and not miserably fat to see my 11 yr old son (not my husband's biological child just so I don't cause any confusion) graduate high school, go to college and get married.

There will be a recovery period, but once the weight starts coming off, your energy will soar, you'll start feeling better about yourself, and you'll be a shining example for your daughter to lead a healthy, and active lifestyle. Most patients return to normal working activity in a week to two weeks depending on their job.

I know that it's stressful, and can be overwhelming. But, I honestly believe that having surgery will give you the life you've always wanted. Can you talk to some members of a support group near you? Or, if you have a surgeon, maybe talking to some of his/her past patients? Also, discussing these concerns with your surgeon may give you some peace of mind. You do have to be in a good place mentally for any surgery. Extra stress and frustration can slow down recovery time.

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
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    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
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