Confession Time

[Tiffykins 672]

I belong to a military spouse support forum as well, and we have one of these threads. It's very refreshing, and kind of fun to be able to express yourself freely.

If anyone would like to participate, it can be about anything, not just your sleeve, not just your food intake, it can be your emotions, your thoughts, your hurts, your concerns.

Totally free judgement zone. If you want to share something that is bothering you, post it, get it out.

There's so much more to life than our sleeves, and sometimes we get wrapped up in our pre-op/post-op stuff that the rest of our lives get lost in the mix.

I hope this sticks, and helps someone.

[Tiffykins 672]

I'll start:

I confess that today my heart hurts, and only time is going to heal this wound.

[MINI-Me 196]

I'll confess that I'm confused about my job and career. I sound like I am whining since they pay me really well and never ask for OT. But, I wonder where this job is taking me and where I will be in 10+ years.

[Tiffykins 672]

I confess my heart is breaking for the people of Haiti, but I am not ready to tell my loving husband "see ya in a bit" again. I'm on pins and needles waiting to hear from him.

[thinoneday 445]

I confess that i think i made a big mistake with this surgery. . . can't explain it, but don't feel right. .

[JudyJudyJudy 7]

I confess that I may never have a good sex life again. Not because of my weight, not because of my own insecurities. It's because of the sexual skills of my mate. He is a wonderful man, faithful, very handsome, very nice body, but NO skills. I don't know what to do. YES I know this is very personal, and possibly too personal, but I'm so frustrated. My 1st husband was awsome, he had skills. But that's all he had, no heart, unfaithful, selfish, and bi-polar. I would never trade one for the other. I'd rather have a good man than good sex. SO here I am...with no sex drive any longer,

because I'm so not satisfied.

[glogarza 0]

I confess that i think i made a big mistake with this surgery. . . can't explain it, but don't feel right. .

What's going on???

[thinoneday 445]

What's going on???

I think i'm just having one of those pitty party days. . . i'm just feeling sorry for myself today. . . i don't want to discourage anyone from getting their surgery, it's a good surgery and will help anyone who needs it. . . but i didn't realize that food is used for so many things. .as a comfort tool and that i snacked so much before. . i always thought i had it under control . . . now that i can't even get as much as 4 oz in, and only of 1 thing, well i'm feeling sorry for myself. . . i'll get over it, probably just "withdrawal" sorta like an alcoholic i guess. . . have to go to a support class which falls on the 21st. . . the eye opened yesterday when daughter and i came home from getting her stitches out from her surgery. . . usually we would go to our favorite restaurant and have have a nice Mexican dinner. . .El Saboritos . . . this time all i could do is take her to sonic and watch. . . . but i did good, i hung in there with my stupid cottage cheese and Jello . . . yummmy . . . then of course i still have to cook for my family, well today is pot roast, mashed potatoes and corn. . . me, well yogurt and Protein powder, yummmmy. . . . i know this will pass one day but in the mean time i'm just feeling under the weather i guess. . . . thanks for listening!

[Tiffykins 672]

I think i'm just having one of those pitty party days. . . i'm just feeling sorry for myself today. . . i don't want to discourage anyone from getting their surgery, it's a good surgery and will help anyone who needs it. . . but i didn't realize that food is used for so many things. .as a comfort tool and that i snacked so much before. . i always thought i had it under control . . . now that i can't even get as much as 4 oz in, and only of 1 thing, well i'm feeling sorry for myself. . . i'll get over it, probably just "withdrawal" sorta like an alcoholic i guess. . . have to go to a support class which falls on the 21st. . . the eye opened yesterday when daughter and i came home from getting her stitches out from her surgery. . . usually we would go to our favorite restaurant and have have a nice Mexican dinner. . .El Saboritos . . . this time all i could do is take her to sonic and watch. . . . but i did good, i hung in there with my stupid cottage cheese and Jello . . . yummmy . . . then of course i still have to cook for my family, well today is pot roast, mashed potatoes and corn. . . me, well yogurt and Protein powder, yummmmy. . . . i know this will pass one day but in the mean time i'm just feeling under the weather i guess. . . . thanks for listening!

I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this feeling. I had a bit of "buyer's remorse" on Thanksgiving. You know it's one of those days throughout the year when we aren't judged for eating platefuls of yummy food. Well, this year, I just couldn't do it. I was pretty angry to be honest because I just couldn't eat a lot of food. I actually got up from the table and went outside to "walk it off". John came out to find out what was wrong. He found me, walking outside, kicking rocks, and talking to myself. He of course, said "babe, you can have some more later." That wasn't the point, I wanted it right then, and I wanted more than my miserable 5 ounces of food.

I had to stay outside until most everyone was finished eating.

Sorry for the ramble, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this feeling.

[thinoneday 445]

Thanks for understanding Tiff. . . I asked DH if i can only eat 4 oz i wonder if i'd ever be able to eat 2 or more different foods. . .like hamburger, tacos, fajitas, chinese, or just a sandwich, daughter dear chimed in saying "well you signed up for this" DH just replied with "that's right, you wanted this" . . . that hurt so badly, all i wanted was some reassurance or something. . . but thanks for understanding. . . and sharing your feelings too. . .

[Tiffykins 672]

Thanks for understanding Tiff. . . I asked DH if i can only eat 4 oz i wonder if i'd ever be able to eat 2 or more different foods. . .like hamburger, tacos, fajitas, chinese, or just a sandwich, daughter dear chimed in saying "well you signed up for this" DH just replied with "that's right, you wanted this" . . . that hurt so badly, all i wanted was some reassurance or something. . . but thanks for understanding. . . and sharing your feelings too. . .

I promise once you're off the post-op diet, you'll be able to have a variety of food at one meal.

I don't know why family members think they get a free-pass on snide comments. I get them from my family, and it hurts so deeply.

You know my love for fajitas, and I eat them a couple times a month with major enjoyment. chips and salsa too.

Hang in there, it gets better, I promise.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It does get better. I can really eat anything I want and I am satisfied with the amount I can eat.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

My confession is that I really want to be happy without a man in my life. I had a couple of loser boyfriends in the last few years, but I still keep thinking that my price charming is out there somewhere.

There is nowhere to meet guys in the town I live in, and it seems all the guys I find online are losers too. I need to learn to be happy alone.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Judy I think you should talk to hubby about this. You can do it tactfully.

There are books and videos out there, and just tell him you want to spice things up!

[thinoneday 445]

thanks ladies for your support, i know it'll get better one day, it's just a feel sorry for me day today i think. . .Oregon, you CAN be happy without a man around, you are a independant, beautiful woman, my daughter loves men, but she had found that with going to university they cause too much drama in her life, so she said she is not going to bother with boyfriends at this time until she is done university and has a stable job. . .then she'll look. . . she is a beautiful woman too and it makes me so proud to know that she wants to do for herself first. . . she has put herself front and center and is enjoying her life right now. . she attends parties and goes shopping without a man asking where, what, or why. . . she has male friends but that is as far as it goes. . .she is happy and you can be too. . .

Judy, have you tried to tell him what you enjoy? I used to have a no skills hubbie, until i took my self and told him what i really wanted him to do . . in the beginning i thought i could never do that, what would he think of me. . . well turned out he had some fantasy things himself. . . so after talking it out, there's no stopping him now . . . try it, you might like it????

Edited January 14, 2010 by thinoneday