I have been overweight most of my life. this is all i know. Everyone has told me how pretty I am and how much prettier I'd be if i lost weight. What if I lose the weight and it turns out that I am really not that pretty? Being fat, I alway have my face to make me feel good about myself (I am not trying to be conceited in any way).

How will I be? Will I have the same personality? will the people who like me today feel the same way about me 10 months down the road? I hope this doesnt sound silly but the prospect of such a drastic weight loss as a result of vsg really has my head spinning. I want to lose the weight more than anything in this world but what will i cost me once i do?

Am i just being silly?

Gingin33, It's funny you say this. just this morning, my roommate (who recently had lapband surgery) told me that I am the type of person that would drop all the weight look fantastic and then forget where i came from. while i feel in my heart that I am not that type of person, just hearing someone think of me like that is disheartning.

Most of my BBW friends said the same thing. I found out it was it was quite the opposite. They are the ones who don't care about me anymore. I'm not invited to social functions with them, nor do any of them ever want to talk about anything other than all the food I can't eat.

I'll never forget "where I came from" or "how I got there", but I know for a fact I won't ever go back.

AMEN Tiff!!

Not going back either!!!

My biggest fear of getting thinner is all the saggy skin. I'm financially broke and can't even consider plastic surgery to pull things up where they used to be. I know that the last time I lost 70# that the saggy flappy skin made me feel ugly unless I was dressed. I looked great in clothes...but depressing naked. I'm really going to have to work on natural remedies to get that skin to tighten

I'll be 50 when my weight loss is complete and I'm not sure my skin will "snap back" like it would have when I was 33....so take advantage of your youthful skin's natural elasticity. Exercise to tone the muscle, stay well hydrated and moisturize daily to help the skin recover.

And then.......just go out and be drop-dead-gorgeous!

Unfortunately, all the exercise in the world isn't going to tighten loose skin. It will build muscle, but not tighten the saggy skin. Instead, you will probably need to accept that the new you includes saggy skin - but it's much healthier than the excess weight. I know this because I'm right there with you. That's why I was so adamant that I not go below 150. I know from past experience that everything including my calves, sag horribly at less that 150. I will still have excess skin that I need to deal with, but it can be hidden by clothes. I won't be getting plastic surgery either, so I will have to count on my clothes to cover up. I can give up wearing shorts with my saggy thigh skin, but I want to at least be able to wear capris, and under 150 I can't even do that. I understand how hard this is. The one area on me that can never be hidden is my neck. It sags already and I still have 25 pounds to go.

Good questions and concerns....

If being overweight you had confidience..... it will double being thin!

I have a lot of self confidence now, so I don't think that will change. Maybe I'm in denial?!

I was always overweight as a child and had a brief period of being thin in my 20's, after childbirth I started gaining weight.... I was not overweight until after high school.

I still tried to project confidience.....

But now that I'm older.......and now "thinner" my confidience is sooo good. Maybe projecting confidence is what I do now, but I don't think so. I have no problem getting up and speaking in front of a crowd...

I too didn't lose weight to be sexy- but wanted to be "healthy" especially since I am older now..... but let me tell you...... the "sexy" is good! I hope my DH thinks I'm sexy after weight loss. Although he is wonderful that he NEVER has said a word to me about my weight.

I don't avoid social events or make up excuses- Me either

I don't avoid mirrors or getting my picture taken as I had in the past. I do avoid mirrors. I see that person and wonder who the he** is that fat woman?

When I was at my worst/heaviest........ my thoughts of myself were"altered"....... I didn't think I was as heavy a I was........ in total denial. I am that way. I completely don't think of myself as a morbidly obese person.. Maybe that is why I have self confidence....I'm most certainly in denial!

Now after losing 158 pounds, I have a more "realistic" view of myself. My confidiene is so much better,and cannot believe I was in the dark place I was before. I hope to look in the mirror so much more often, especially when I get to wear cute clothes.

You will change.......but you will still be "YOU"

You will still be pretty-just with more self confidience. I have wondered about what I will look like. Will I recognize myself in the mirror after weight loss, because I don't know that woman I see in the mirror now. But I do know that the mirror will reflect a much healthier person. Since I'm 58, I'll probably have a gobble wobble, but oh well...at least I won't have a massive butt.

But you also need to be aware of others and their insecurities. Some people cannot except change. Most of my friends are not overweight. I have one family member who may have a problem with it...a 72 year old aunt....but she may surprise me. She is SMO herself and to be honest, my decision to have WLS is because I see her and my mom struggle to ambulate and enjoy life and I don't want that!

Where I work....... all everyone has known is the "fat" me...Telling me not to get too thin, yadda yadda.....all meaning well,and everyone is sooo supportive with my WLS but because there is another woman that had an RNY-She lost alot of weight, but she also had a lot of other medical problems and they try to compare me to her.

( For me NOT to get like that ) I hear you, Chancie. I have a friend who had RNY. She has gained a lot of her weight back. I feel soooo badly for her. I hope it doesn't change our relationship if my weight loss is more successful. We were at a Christmas party last night and she ate way more than I did and I haven't had surgery yet.

You'll just have to pick your battles, and stay focused on who you really are, and people will just have to accept you and your weight loss. AMEN

I responded to Chancie's post because she had already addressed most everything I was going to say. Breekahouse- You are beautiful inside and out and you will continue to be so. Best of luck in your journey!

I wear turtleneck tops and they hide a lot of the turkeyneck!

I wear turtleneck tops and they hide a lot of the turkeyneck!

LOL....But a turtle neck might look kind of funny when it's 100 degrees outdoors!

LOL....But a turtle neck might look kind of funny when it's 100 degrees outdoors!

Yep, can't do that in the summer down here. But right now we are having a cold snap and I'm covered up to my chin!

Ya know what??

My biggest concern in the beginning was the "turkey neck" EVERYONE i have ever know to have weight loss surgery had this.

I Don't.......... but was totally surprised by my legs!

I never dreamed they would get as skinny as they are.... and look so bad! Like an elephants skin, yea... we pick ourselves apart...... but I can live with it all..... even the turkey neck, to just be "healthy"

And I'm still working on that...... emotionally as well as Physically.

I'm "picking" my battles too.