Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Feeling like a failure



Recommended Posts

Ugh so I'm 22 and have been over weight my whole like I graduate nursing school in December and I ideally wanted to graduate 40lbs lighter than I am. I lost at total of 62 lbs but gained back 15-20. I am soo disappointed in myself and eat generally healthy I just need to get back into exercising but my schedule is so crazy and have barely enough $ to pay bills without a gym membership to add to that. Can anyone give me some advice on what I'm doing wrong? I also haven't gone to my drs in like 5 months because I'm embarrassed and feel I know what I'm doing wrong but am just stuck :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh so I'm 22 and have been over weight my whole like I graduate nursing school in December and I ideally wanted to graduate 40lbs lighter than I am. I lost at total of 62 lbs but gained back 15-20. I am soo disappointed in myself and eat generally healthy I just need to get back into exercising but my schedule is so crazy and have barely enough $ to pay bills without a gym membership to add to that. Can anyone give me some advice on what I'm doing wrong? I also haven't gone to my drs in like 5 months because I'm embarrassed and feel I know what I'm doing wrong but am just stuck :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drop the 40 lbs goal and set yourself some small bur reachable goals. You'll get to the 40 before you know it. As for the exercise, now is a good time to get out and walk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drop the 40 lbs goal and set yourself some small bur reachable goals. You'll get to the 40 before you know it. As for the exercise, now is a good time to get out and walk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The biggest thing you're doing "wrong" is avoiding your doctor out of embarrassment. He's paid to help you, not just be an overpriced cheerleader when you're doing well. It's when you're struggling that you need him the most. There is nothing to be embarrassed about- you're human and we all need help sometimes.

As far as losing 40 pounds by December, I personally think you need more realistic goals so you're not setting yourself up for failure. December is only 9 weeks away. The average weight loss with the band is 1-2 pounds per week. To be realistic, a good goal is more like 9-18 pounds lost by December.

As far as exercise, you don't need a gym membership to exercise. There are a ton of free exercise videos on YouTube. You can do plenty of things right at home or outside. I lost all the weight I have so far with only walking 2 miles a day- and walking is free.

Weight loss really comes down to simple math. When you burn more calories than you consume, you lose weight. Tracking your calories is the easiest way to assure that happens. I would definitely start tracking calories if I were you.

Make an appointment with your doctor. Best wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The biggest thing you're doing "wrong" is avoiding your doctor out of embarrassment. He's paid to help you, not just be an overpriced cheerleader when you're doing well. It's when you're struggling that you need him the most. There is nothing to be embarrassed about- you're human and we all need help sometimes.

As far as losing 40 pounds by December, I personally think you need more realistic goals so you're not setting yourself up for failure. December is only 9 weeks away. The average weight loss with the band is 1-2 pounds per week. To be realistic, a good goal is more like 9-18 pounds lost by December.

As far as exercise, you don't need a gym membership to exercise. There are a ton of free exercise videos on YouTube. You can do plenty of things right at home or outside. I lost all the weight I have so far with only walking 2 miles a day- and walking is free.

Weight loss really comes down to simple math. When you burn more calories than you consume, you lose weight. Tracking your calories is the easiest way to assure that happens. I would definitely start tracking calories if I were you.

Make an appointment with your doctor. Best wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you feel the band is doing anything for you?

For myself, I had the surgery with the expectations that the band will help me loose the weight I could never do on my own, and keep it off....

So when I was struggling early on, I always questioned the band....and then if I am "In Sync" with what the band was attempting to do...

But that is me...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you feel the band is doing anything for you?

For myself, I had the surgery with the expectations that the band will help me loose the weight I could never do on my own, and keep it off....

So when I was struggling early on, I always questioned the band....and then if I am "In Sync" with what the band was attempting to do...

But that is me...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there, you are taking a great first step here -- now to touch base with your medical team to see whether you need a fill, etc. and to develop next steps -- you are on your way -- don't worry about being there already for a particular event. Congratulations on graduating from nursing school and for getting In touch with your band and health now -- best wishes for a great future!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi there, you are taking a great first step here -- now to touch base with your medical team to see whether you need a fill, etc. and to develop next steps -- you are on your way -- don't worry about being there already for a particular event. Congratulations on graduating from nursing school and for getting In touch with your band and health now -- best wishes for a great future!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

miss and sand and band gave some great advice...i suggest you listen to do it..

you dont need to spend one cent to exercise..........WALK

walk far, go up and down inclines...trust me, its a work out

and by not seeing your dr, you know you are only hurting/hindering yourself...the dr knows what you look like and weighed, so they know you have a weight problem....get rid of the woe is me and i am embarrassed bs......go see the dr, let them make sure your band is working as it should and start back eating your allotted amounts, better option foods (you know what you eat and what makes us gain weight, we all do)..you say you are stuck...i dont believe that.....you have a great tool to help you eat less.....they gave you how to use it guidance...i bet if you start doing what you were, i will happen again..to lose weight, you must eat less calories than you burn off...only you know if you do that or not...and i reckon you do because of the 60+ pounds you loss already......GREAT job

see, you CAN do this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

miss and sand and band gave some great advice...i suggest you listen to do it..

you dont need to spend one cent to exercise..........WALK

walk far, go up and down inclines...trust me, its a work out

and by not seeing your dr, you know you are only hurting/hindering yourself...the dr knows what you look like and weighed, so they know you have a weight problem....get rid of the woe is me and i am embarrassed bs......go see the dr, let them make sure your band is working as it should and start back eating your allotted amounts, better option foods (you know what you eat and what makes us gain weight, we all do)..you say you are stuck...i dont believe that.....you have a great tool to help you eat less.....they gave you how to use it guidance...i bet if you start doing what you were, i will happen again..to lose weight, you must eat less calories than you burn off...only you know if you do that or not...and i reckon you do because of the 60+ pounds you loss already......GREAT job

see, you CAN do this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×