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Scared to Death



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I am going to see my doctor tomorrow for the first time in two years. I have failed miserably by trying to make the almighty dollar at all cost including my health. I have been working and traveling non stop and justified my eating and drinking by the amount of work I was doing. I took customers out all the time and ate what they ate and drank what they drank.

I have hit rock bottom and finally made a decision that I thought I had made when I was banded 4 years ago. I decided now it is my time. I have switched jobs and am much happier and now have time for me and my family instead of work work work.

I am so embarrassed at how I have failed and need as much support and encouragement as I can get. I have not even told my wife or family I am going to see him because I want to do it for me this time. I called this morning and made my appointment which was a hard first step. The hardest part will be making sure I go tomorrow.

Thanks in advance for the comments and feedback.

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Welcome!

You are not a failure. The only way you can fail is if you give up- you haven't given up. You hit a bump in the road that took awhile to work around, but now you have and you're getting back on the right path.

I'm so glad you made the appointment with your surgeon. I guarantee you, he's seen many people in your situation over the years so your story won't shock him at all. You're huDman and us humans make mistakes. As your doctor, it's his job to help you regroup and get back on track.

May I make another suggestion? I'd also make an appointment with your nutritionist. They could really help you too.

You can do this!! :)

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Hello and welcome! You've come to the right place! Please don't be embarrassed or feel alone. We are all here to help you. You've taken the first step by getting back to see your doctor- I hope you can follow through and get the help you need and deserve. Best wishes to you! You got this!!

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Most journeys are not a straight road so you happen to take a bit of the scenic route, you are still traveling so be proud of that & good luck with your appointment!!!!

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Welcome back! Please realize your with family here. The fact that you're getting back on track is the main thing! Also, as you stated this is for you and nobody else. I think your surgeon will be pleased that you're back onboard. Good luck!

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Just get back on track. Don't self sabotage by thinking about the wrongdoings. Put on that 'go get em' attitude. We'll see you on the other side friend :)

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How did the doctor appointment go???

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Well. A lot different than I expected. It seems my Doctor is not a huge lap band fan anymore and basically said the system is not doing what it was sold to do, 4 years ago when I was banded. Basically I need to use the band for what is really and not what was sold. He then talked to me about a gastric sleeve.....I told him what about in four years when this is no good.

I am focused on losing the weight so I will use the band to aid me and not give up. I am checking to see if my new insurance has coverage and if so I may seek another doctor just for a sanity check.

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How strange, I would definitely try to find another doctor! While the band is not the answer for everyone & is a tool in the weight loss journey nothing such a simple thing. Certainly requires more time spent with a doctor to make those decisions

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How strange, I would definitely try to find another doctor! While the band is not the answer for everyone & is a tool in the weight loss journey nothing such a simple thing. Certainly requires more time spent with a doctor to make those decisions

Wow!!! Sounds like the salesman has started selling a new product. I also believe you should get another doctor and see if the lapband will work for you again. Surgery is no minor issue and shouldnt be entered into lightly. Afterall, if you do opt for the sleeve and 4 years from now its not the answer either, theres no turning back from that one. Just sayin.....

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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