Found out yesterday that my brother's cancer has come back and prognosis doesn't look good for him this time around. All I could do yesterda was cry and eat. All I want to do is eat, yes I'm an emotional eater, I did this during my separation/divorce and gained a lot prior to surgery and now I don't know how to deal with my emotions and wanting to eat my sorrows away.

so, so sorry to hear this about your brother and I sure know just how you feel about eating. Is it possibsble for you to look into counsoling? It was the best thing for me to turn to when hubby and son died if your insurance doesnt cover it there are some that will do a sliding scasle or get your Mom to help ya it is so worth it now and in the long run.

I hope you deal with this in a healthier way you have a lot of tricks now that you could use tomake this a turning point in your life that you could thank your brother for in your nightly prays. Some times life just sucks big time.

hugs to you and your family

Linda

Hon, you simply can't do that. Period. It's eating your emotions that got you here needing the Lap Band to begin with.

I recently went through a very hard spring. In a matter of 3 months time, I had my gallbladder out, I had a tummy tuck/skin removal/hernia repair surgery, my grandma died (whom I was extremely close to), my uncle died (suddenly only a month after my grandma), I had my first serious MS exacerbation in years, and I almost died from life threatening blood clots in both legs. Quite frankly, I think this may have likely been the worst spring of my entire life.

I got to over 400 pounds being an emotional eater. I'm STILL an emotional eater by instinct. But, even with this hellish couple months, I didn't give in and I didn't gain weight.

You have to make a conscious decision that you worth more than that. You may be upset now but just think how much more upset you'll be if you gain weight on top of everything else? Then, you'll want to eat more because you're upset over gaining weight, which of course will only make you more upset and want to eat even more. It's a viscous, nasty cycle you have to break.

Hang in there and I'll keep your brother in my prayers.

Donna,

I can't think of anything to say that you haven't heard before, so...

HUG

So very sorry about your brother Donna. Missy's post says it all. Gaining weight after all your hard won losses won't help you deal any better with this terrible turn of events and will just put you in a worse position. Giving you a virtual hug and please know that your family is in my thoughts...

Sorry, bad news...I lost my Brother to the big C a few years ago....much too young....

As far as emotional eating, fortunately we have the band....a surgical intervention....

thanks everyone for the virtual hugs, all I could do yesterday was cry and then eat a little at a time, still in a state of shock. Missy thank you for putting things in to perspective for me, I can't let this take over and let this ruin all I've done. You're right I know this. Thank you all for the prayers and support. My brother and I are very close. Linda I will try and turn to my mom for comfort although I feel the need to be strong for her now.

Found out yesterday that my brother's cancer has come back and prognosis doesn't look good for him this time around. All I could do yesterda was cry and eat. All I want to do is eat' date=' yes I'm an emotional eater, I did this during my separation/divorce and gained a lot prior to surgery and now I don't know how to deal with my emotions and wanting to eat my sorrows away.[/quote']

I would gladly minister to Him. Will Pray for Him & Family

Yes, sometimes life comes at you fast. I am sorry to read of your additional stress and anxiety. However, if nothing else, during the time you have been banded, you should have developed some additional insights into the triggers to your emotional eating.

Do your best to stay busy and focused on other thoughts that take your mind away from the issues at hand. I do understand that these are circumstances which need to be dealt with, however it is imperative that you focus on what you can do to influence a difference, rather than be caught up on the negative thoughts of helplessness. This flawed thinking promotes your reverting back to your former maladaptive patterns of eating to soothe your mind.

Take a day at a time, and do your best to maintain compliance with eating. Overall, despite the sad circumstances you have to cope with, the bright spot in your life could be a sense of empowerment to not give into your need for comfort food.

I'll keep you in my prayers Donna....stay as strong as is possible. Hugs

I'm sorry about your brother but emotional eating is not the answer. I have always been overweight but 1987 was a rough year for me and that's when I packed on the pounds. My husband died at the age of 40 unexpectedly. 3 weeks later to the day, my father died. I was disabled in a wheelchair with 3 small children, the youngest being 3 yrs old. Well, I guess I did OK because I raised those 3 by myself. However, I put on 70 lbs in the process and almost hit 300 lbs. I got down to 267 and stayed there forever. All because my emotions got the best of me. I had to do my husband's funeral without my mom and dad being there because I had no idea my dad was dying. I was 1500 miles from family and my mom said that she and dad couldn't make the funeral because dad was in the hospital ill. My husband's family lived in Ireland but luckily 3 family members from his side flew over to be with me.

Trust me, my emotions got the best of me and I was eating non-stop. I felt like I HAD to eat because maybe there would be no tomorrow. Well, the tomorrow's came and went and so did my weight. My weight came and came and came. People thought I was pregnant and when it got to that point I started to diet feverishly. I even did Atkins only to gain most of it back. Anyway, fast forward to 2012 and I was finally approved for the band. I promised myself that this was it no emotions were going to get in my way. So, I'm wishing you nothing but success. You'll always love your brother no matter what so eat healthy for your sake and your brother's sake. God bless you and remember you are worth it! (((hugs)))

Hey Donna we r giving those virtual hugs as you can see you have the support from your fellow bandsters on here and if you really have to emotionally eat how bout getting those fruits or veggies and snack on those instead of what we used to go to for comfort also I know I like y little mozzarella cheese balls the ones that are not marinated so just try to keep those healthy choices that you have made to change your life ,you have came so far and you are a real help to all of us please stay healthy and I am sorry to hear the news , I know my cousins wife they are in their fourty's and she has been battling breast cancer for over a year now and she is a Teacher and a real good person but she is fighting , as we battle our demon wich is bad unhealthy food so please just do the cheese ,veggies of fruit ,thankyou stay positive and healthy.

I'm so sorry for your devastating news. I've also dealt with a lot of loss and stress in recent years, and it takes its toll. I'm also an emotional eater (semi-reformed). A little trick that works for me is to drink constantly during a bad spell. Well, that sounded bad, but I meant regular liquids, not alcohol. Something more yummy than plain water like Crystal Light. If I'm constantly sipping, then my mouth can't be occupied eating! I also try to redirect myself by doing an activity, even if its nothing productive. I have a stash of such activities around the house to distract myself when the cravings start, because I live alone and no one would see me cheat! Hang in there and I truly hope your brother's health improves.

I would gladly minister to Him. Will Pray for Him & Family

Oh my goodness Pastor O thank you for the offer, we are Christian people and my brother's wife works at a massive Baptist church in Nashville and has many people praying but if you would like to add him to your prayers that would be great as we've done the same in my church as well and I've got a prayer chain going on facebook so the power of prayer is going strong right now with our Faith in God. He has been in remission and God allowed that so we have faith in God's loving hands again but God has a plan that none of us can control. Thank you so much.

Donna

thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for all the suggestions and heartfelt warm wishes for my brother and me and my family.

God Bless

Donna

I am sorry for the bad news you have received. I know the cancer fight is hard. I have had my own personal experience with it: twice as a matter of fact. All I can tell you on that part, is to love your brother and think on the good memories. Instead of sorrow, make it your duty to bring joy to him, to family, to yourself. As you must fight for you health, you also must fight for your joy. It is something I practice everyday of my life. If I can cry than I can laugh. If I can frown than I can smile. Where there is bad, there is also good. Rough days are ahead, but good days are well in reach. I have no advice on emotional eating. When I am emotional, I don't want to eat at all. So, I would go with the advice of others on that topic. I will pray for you and your family.