Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Social situations-post op...



Recommended Posts

I am 10 days post op and I have done great with the full liquid diet. Only two of my friends know I've had lap-band. I have been avoiding all of my friends at meal times and make up excuses as to why I can't go out for dinner etc. It wasn't that bad last week with everyone being out of town or being with their families, but this weekend people have been calling and texting and asking me to go out. How do you all cope with social eating? I miss my friends and I know it will get better on mushies, but I'm not allowed them until next Thursday. There isn't anything I can eat at most restaurants that is on the full liquid diet. I don't want people to think I've developed some eating disorder because I'm not eating at all. Help!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I avoided eating out for a long time because I didn't want to fess up, didn't want to make eating more complicated than it already was, and it's just too difficult to eat healthy eating out anyway. I did eventually share with my close friends, and everyone was way more supportive than I imagined. It's hard though. I meet new people now "after," and I don't want to tell any of them. But maybe you could go out and order Soup and say you'd eaten a big meal earlier in the day. Soup was always my fall back restaurant meal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been house bound pretty much since surgery, I went out to a restaurant and even the Soup was not what i expected...I just say oh I already ate :) the whole food thing is not easy , but I am so excited and ready for this i just say I'm not hungry....but like i said only one family thing and one restaurant .....so that being said good luck :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, just be honest with people. I let everyone know before I had surgery and told them what to expect. Nobody jumped for joy, but they did not ride me either. I went to Breakfast with friends twice when I was on liquids. Took my shaker bottle of Protein Shake and joined in on the conversation. Nobody cares. Then when I was able to eat real food they often offer to share. I will do that if they are eating something I can eat. My surgery buddy told me to learn to eat vicariously through other people and I have. It's loads of fun until I get judgmental about what they are eating. That is when I keep my mouth shut. Keeps the words in and the food out! Good luck and enjoy your lap band.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I find it very hard to go out to eat! There are not alot of people I have told about my surgery and I am well over 4 years out. I personally did not feel it was nay of their business. I usually order Soup or a baked potato or a grilled veggie appetizer. You will be fine, it does take time and patience with yourself. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm guessing that it would get easier when you can eat solid food, say an appetizers, Soup, baked potato, or some side dishes. I told everyone that I'm having a hernia operation and I'll use that as my excuse, hey you know that us (food) addicts are good liars when we need to.

But what do I know my surgery isn't till Monday.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone! I ended up telling my two friends tonight that my sister was making me dinner and I would come meet them afterwards. I got there when they were done eating, I ordered a virgin, frozen, strawberry margarita and only had 1 or 2 sips. I really ordered it so they wouldn't think something was up and I told them I wasn't drinking alcohol tonight because I still wasn't feeling great (I had told people I was sick with a GI bug/flu during surgery and recovery). I hate all the lies, but I don't think it is really anyone's business either. They, of course, had chips and guac at the table and kept asking me if I wanted any. It was surprisingly easy to say no. When I got home I had some sugar free jell-o :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just so you know, you can eat out and still be successful. I eat out at least once a week, sometimes more. I look to make good food choices and I usually stick with fish because it goes down easy. Besides which, I've found out how good fish really tastes. No one pays attention to how and what you are eating. That was my big worry but honestly...no one is watching you. I've gone out with plenty of people who are not aware I am banded and no one notices a thing. Oh, and I've lost over 70 lbs. since the beginning of the year so like I said...you can eat out and lose the weight. For me, it's very much a social thing and I refused to give that up...and didn't have to..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone! I ended up telling my two friends tonight that my sister was making me dinner and I would come meet them afterwards. I got there when they were done eating, I ordered a virgin, frozen, strawberry margarita and only had 1 or 2 sips. I really ordered it so they wouldn't think something was up and I told them I wasn't drinking alcohol tonight because I still wasn't feeling great (I had told people I was sick with a GI bug/flu during surgery and recovery). I hate all the lies, but I don't think it is really anyone's business either. They, of course, had chips and guac at the table and kept asking me if I wanted any. It was surprisingly easy to say no. When I got home I had some sugar free jell-o :)

You only have 2 ways of dealing with this situation tell them or not. If a white lie bothers you - tell them, if it's none of there business - tell them a white lie!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just so you know, you can eat out and still be successful. I eat out at least once a week, sometimes more. I look to make good food choices and I usually stick with fish because it goes down easy. Besides which, I've found out how good fish really tastes. No one pays attention to how and what you are eating. That was my big worry but honestly...no one is watching you. I've gone out with plenty of people who are not aware I am banded and no one notices a thing. Oh, and I've lost over 70 lbs. since the beginning of the year so like I said...you can eat out and lose the weight. For me, it's very much a social thing and I refused to give that up...and didn't have to..

I agree with you, but it is hard when you are still on full liquid diet and only 10 days post op! I have now successfully navigated 2 social situations with food! No one has said a thing to me about not eating :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell anyone except my dad. I generally stick to Soup whenever possible at a restaurant. It's not easy especially in the beginning stages, but it will get easier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you, but it is hard when you are still on full liquid diet and only 10 days post op! I have now successfully navigated 2 social situations with food! No one has said a thing to me about not eating :)

Sorry beanie...I meant once you are eating solids. Agree with you 100%...it's very hard at this stage. I just wanted you to know that you have something to look forward to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a little worried about dinners at my father's and dinners at my in laws, as neither know about my surgery. Only my mother and husband know and I feel like it is no one else's business. If I go out to a restaurant, I feel I will at least have the power to choose what to eat and can stick with Soup or something I know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am a little worried about dinners at my father's and dinner's at my in laws' date=' as neither know about my surgery. Only my mother and husband know and I feel like it is no one else's business. If I go out to a restaurant, I feel I will at least have the power to choose what to eat and can stick with Soup or something I know.[/quote']

Good luck. I totally understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- I'm getting over a stomach bug

- had a late lunch

- allergies are making things not taste good

- I'm on SUCH a Soup kick lately!!!

- OMG, I was SO hungry, now I'm stuffed after two bites. Guess I was over-hungry. I'll just take it home and have Round 2 later...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×