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Social situations-post op...

I am 10 days post op and I have done great with the full liquid diet. Only two of my friends know I've had lap-band. I have been avoiding all of my friends at meal times and make up excuses as to why I can't go out for dinner etc. It wasn't that bad last week with everyone being out of town or being with their families, but this weekend people have been calling and texting and asking me to go out. How do you all cope with social eating? I miss my friends and I know it will get better on mushies, but I'm not allowed them until next Thursday. There isn't anything I can eat at most restaurants that is on the full liquid diet. I don't want people to think I've developed some eating disorder because I'm not eating at all. Help!

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  • I avoided eating out for a long time because I didn't want to fess up, didn't want to make eating more complicated than it already was, and it's just too difficult to eat healthy eating out anyway. I

  • Thanks everyone! I ended up telling my two friends tonight that my sister was making me dinner and I would come meet them afterwards. I got there when they were done eating, I ordered a virgin, frozen

  • gowalking
    gowalking

    Just so you know, you can eat out and still be successful. I eat out at least once a week, sometimes more. I look to make good food choices and I usually stick with fish because it goes down easy.

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I avoided eating out for a long time because I didn't want to fess up, didn't want to make eating more complicated than it already was, and it's just too difficult to eat healthy eating out anyway. I did eventually share with my close friends, and everyone was way more supportive than I imagined. It's hard though. I meet new people now "after," and I don't want to tell any of them. But maybe you could go out and order soup and say you'd eaten a big meal earlier in the day. Soup was always my fall back restaurant meal.

I have been house bound pretty much since surgery, I went out to a restaurant and even the soup was not what i expected...I just say oh I already ate :) the whole food thing is not easy , but I am so excited and ready for this i just say I'm not hungry....but like i said only one family thing and one restaurant .....so that being said good luck :)

Well, just be honest with people. I let everyone know before I had surgery and told them what to expect. Nobody jumped for joy, but they did not ride me either. I went to breakfast with friends twice when I was on liquids. Took my shaker bottle of protein shake and joined in on the conversation. Nobody cares. Then when I was able to eat real food they often offer to share. I will do that if they are eating something I can eat. My surgery buddy told me to learn to eat vicariously through other people and I have. It's loads of fun until I get judgmental about what they are eating. That is when I keep my mouth shut. Keeps the words in and the food out! Good luck and enjoy your lap band.

Yes, I find it very hard to go out to eat! There are not alot of people I have told about my surgery and I am well over 4 years out. I personally did not feel it was nay of their business. I usually order soup or a baked potato or a grilled veggie appetizer. You will be fine, it does take time and patience with yourself. Good luck!

I'm guessing that it would get easier when you can eat solid food, say an appetizers, soup, baked potato, or some side dishes. I told everyone that I'm having a hernia operation and I'll use that as my excuse, hey you know that us (food) addicts are good liars when we need to.

But what do I know my surgery isn't till Monday.

  • Author

Thanks everyone! I ended up telling my two friends tonight that my sister was making me dinner and I would come meet them afterwards. I got there when they were done eating, I ordered a virgin, frozen, strawberry margarita and only had 1 or 2 sips. I really ordered it so they wouldn't think something was up and I told them I wasn't drinking alcohol tonight because I still wasn't feeling great (I had told people I was sick with a GI bug/flu during surgery and recovery). I hate all the lies, but I don't think it is really anyone's business either. They, of course, had chips and guac at the table and kept asking me if I wanted any. It was surprisingly easy to say no. When I got home I had some sugar free jell-o :)

Just so you know, you can eat out and still be successful. I eat out at least once a week, sometimes more. I look to make good food choices and I usually stick with fish because it goes down easy. Besides which, I've found out how good fish really tastes. No one pays attention to how and what you are eating. That was my big worry but honestly...no one is watching you. I've gone out with plenty of people who are not aware I am banded and no one notices a thing. Oh, and I've lost over 70 lbs. since the beginning of the year so like I said...you can eat out and lose the weight. For me, it's very much a social thing and I refused to give that up...and didn't have to..

Thanks everyone! I ended up telling my two friends tonight that my sister was making me dinner and I would come meet them afterwards. I got there when they were done eating, I ordered a virgin, frozen, strawberry margarita and only had 1 or 2 sips. I really ordered it so they wouldn't think something was up and I told them I wasn't drinking alcohol tonight because I still wasn't feeling great (I had told people I was sick with a GI bug/flu during surgery and recovery). I hate all the lies, but I don't think it is really anyone's business either. They, of course, had chips and guac at the table and kept asking me if I wanted any. It was surprisingly easy to say no. When I got home I had some sugar free jell-o :)

You only have 2 ways of dealing with this situation tell them or not. If a white lie bothers you - tell them, if it's none of there business - tell them a white lie!

  • Author

Just so you know, you can eat out and still be successful. I eat out at least once a week, sometimes more. I look to make good food choices and I usually stick with fish because it goes down easy. Besides which, I've found out how good fish really tastes. No one pays attention to how and what you are eating. That was my big worry but honestly...no one is watching you. I've gone out with plenty of people who are not aware I am banded and no one notices a thing. Oh, and I've lost over 70 lbs. since the beginning of the year so like I said...you can eat out and lose the weight. For me, it's very much a social thing and I refused to give that up...and didn't have to..

I agree with you, but it is hard when you are still on full liquid diet and only 10 days post op! I have now successfully navigated 2 social situations with food! No one has said a thing to me about not eating :)

I didn't tell anyone except my dad. I generally stick to soup whenever possible at a restaurant. It's not easy especially in the beginning stages, but it will get easier.

I agree with you, but it is hard when you are still on full liquid diet and only 10 days post op! I have now successfully navigated 2 social situations with food! No one has said a thing to me about not eating :)

Sorry beanie...I meant once you are eating solids. Agree with you 100%...it's very hard at this stage. I just wanted you to know that you have something to look forward to.

I am a little worried about dinners at my father's and dinners at my in laws, as neither know about my surgery. Only my mother and husband know and I feel like it is no one else's business. If I go out to a restaurant, I feel I will at least have the power to choose what to eat and can stick with soup or something I know.

I am a little worried about dinners at my father's and dinner's at my in laws' date=' as neither know about my surgery. Only my mother and husband know and I feel like it is no one else's business. If I go out to a restaurant, I feel I will at least have the power to choose what to eat and can stick with soup or something I know.[/quote']

Good luck. I totally understand.

- I'm getting over a stomach bug

- had a late lunch

- allergies are making things not taste good

- I'm on SUCH a soup kick lately!!!

- OMG, I was SO hungry, now I'm stuffed after two bites. Guess I was over-hungry. I'll just take it home and have Round 2 later...

Why don't you tell them you are on a juice cleanse? I can't tell you how many people I know who did that after watching "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" on Netflix.

I didn't eat out very often (mostly due to my size), so I never had to make up excuses.

Good luck!

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