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Thoughts of fear - how did you talk yourself out of them?



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I'm guessing that there's a good portion of banders who had second thoughts before getting the band, how did you talk yourself out of letting fear get the better of you? Did you talk to friends or family and find comfort in them? Or other bandsters?

Also, what was your major fear?

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my major fear was getting so big they'd have to cut me out of my house and my baby granddaughter..that motivated me to do what i had to save my life..its probably not the answer you wanted but its the one i wanted to give.

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my major fear was getting so big they'd have to cut me out of my house and my baby granddaughter..that motivated me to do what i had to save my life..its probably not the answer you wanted but its the one i wanted to give.

Carolina - LOVE your new picture :-)

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Given that I was scheduled for the gastric bypass first, shifting to the band felt like a piece of cake. That being said.....

I went back & forth for many months on whether to have WLS surgery, or not. During that time, I managed to gain a few more pounds, and it became painfully clear that other than divine intervention, WLS was the only thing I felt would get me on the road to "health".

Like most everyone here, I've been on every diet known to mankind; lost 100s of pounds over the years, only to gain it back....PLUS more. At this stage in life, there are many obesity related health issues, and I've felt for a long time that I might drop dead sooner than later.

So, the answer is, when I felt bouts of fear or panic going into this, I refocused my attention on my declining health. And with crystal clarity, I knew that I was not going to get a handle on this with another f-ing diet.

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If I could tell every pre-op one piece of advice, it would be this one: sit down and write out all you hate about being at the weight you are at. And then write out all you hope to obtain from lapband surgery. Then answer these four questions:

  • What do you care about? (As it relates to living a good life)
  • Where does this come from? (Why do you care about these things?)
  • What is not possible in your life if you stay at this weight?
  • What new theory will you have about your body at your goal weight?

I wrote all this out, and I printed it out and took it with me to the hospital. It is also a good document to look at as you work out whether or not you should proceed with WLS.

I think most of us hesitate and do a back and forth as we start seriously considering WLS. But one thing that kept me moving forward was looking at how predictive my weight loss history had been. I had reenrolled in Weight Watchers so many times since the age of 14...always lost weight with the program only to eventually gave in to the persistent hunger. It was very clear that I was not going to be among the 1-2% of people losing over 50 pounds and maintaining that loss for life.

I didn't really have a big fear surrounding this decision. I know I'll be successful, so there isn't a fear of failure.

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I was banded about 10 days ago. I was terrified before surgery not only about something happening during the surgery, but what life would be like after. Honestly i am 10 days out, and feel exactly the same as I did before the surgery. I am up and about, walking every day..Only difference is I am full after eating small amounts of food. I am down 10lb so far, and feel fantastic! You can do it too.

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I've been going back and forth with my decision especially the closer it gets to the surgery date. What keeps me going forward is that I know I will not be able to lose this weight and keep it off based on my past experience just like stated above. If I don't do this I will always be wishing I had just went and done it. So for me there is no other option. Just the option to give this a try,and to do the very best I can to be a success. Good luck with your choice.

~~~Stephanie

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My biggest fear was NOT getting the help I needed. For me, the rewards outweigh the risk and I find most of my support right here on this site.

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Carolina - LOVE your new picture :-)

well what a pleasant surprise to read this.....thank you honey :wub:

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well what a pleasant surprise to read this.....thank you honey :wub:

It's true...you look like you are 15 years old! Great picture, CarolinaGirl!

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It's true...you look like you are 15 years old! Great picture, CarolinaGirl!

well bless your heart.......my head my get wayyyyy big now

thank you sweetness

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My biggest fear is definitely something happening during the surgery, but I love all the advice here! Thank you all so much, very supportive - I love you guys!

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I was nervous until the iv was in my arm & I was on the OR Table. I talked myself in & out many times. But the icing on the cake... I didn't wanna die fat, I didn't wanna be a fat bride or get pregnant & be fat. I was teased all my childhood about my weight & when I watched shows like the biggest loser or saw a story on a 600lb man trapped in his home & they had to cut him out... I knew ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH I had to lose weight. I was finally ready for my success story.

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My biggest fear is definitely something happening during the surgery' date=' but I love all the advice here! Thank you all so much, very supportive - I love you guys![/quote']

That was my fear too! I had everything going wrong in my life health wise. I'm a twice stroke and ovarian cancer survivor, I was taking injections for type 2 diabetes, eventhough I wasn't on insulin I was on a med called Byetta to keep my blood sugar at bay. My high reading would read 140-150 but I mostly had my blood sugar under control but I had to take two injections a day to keep it that way aside of course diet. Well, I'm happy to say I'm off Byetta since my surgery and after all I had been through already I decided if I became eligible for WLS I was going for it. Sadly, my insurance denied me three times. I changed insurance companies and did my homework, attended three seminars and I knew the lapband was for me. It was medically necessary for me to do this. All my doctors supported me and gratefully my new insurance company qualified me for surgery. I picked the worst time to start my pre-op diet because I was between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I feared if I didn't start it THEN, I would come up with more excuses to postpone the surgery. So, on December 28, 2013 I had my surgery. My pre-op weight was 267 and I'm not a fast loser but I weighed in at 223 this morning so I'm happy. My

PCP feels I should have lost more but it's hard to get strenuous exercise in with my disability but I am walking more so that helps.

I didn't look for a ride-on shopping cart to shop with in Walmart today. I walked with a regular shopping cart. That's major for me!

So I'm so glad I kept my surgery date and overcame the same fears that other people have before surgery like what if something happens to me. I had that same fear but all is well and I'm focusing on getting healthier!

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I was more scared of after surgery and how I would deal but I looked at my 7 month old daughter. It is so important to me to be her role model and teach her that this is not an acceptable way to live.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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