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What did you tell you family/friends?



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I'm not telling the whole world at this time but I have shared this journey with my hubby of course, my mom, sister, best friend, and a couple of friends from work.

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Hello everyone' date=' I am wanting to keep my surgery on a real "need to know" basis. Has anyone else kept this a secret? What did you say you went into surgery for? Need help on what I can say that would be believable. Alot of people in my life are very against the idea of a lapband. They are also size 8 and never had to work out or diet in thier lives. Thanks![/quote']

I only told some people. If the others ask I will say I watch what I eat and exercise. I have now decided I am not telling anyone other than my husband how much I have lost. I am very embarrassed by how much I weighed. I am proud of my loss but I can no longer share numbers Good luck.

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I am reading this topic to see what alternatives I can tell people about rather than the surgery itself. I'm not ashamed, but I KNOW that there are people who would judge me. I am telling my husband and two friends, and my dad... that is it. This will be very hard for me as I am not a secretive person.... I am generally very open about my life and my feelings... but I feel there is a lot at stake here as I live in a small town... and I don't feel like it is anyone's business.

It seems like a good explanation is a hernia operation - so I'm thinking I might say that. I wish there didn't have to be such secrecy around this, but from what others have said as well, I feel like it is the best option.

all the best to everyone :)

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thats what i said too i told everyone i was having a hernia repair but when they started seeing i was loosing weight they started asking questions but i didnt budge i dont want them to judge me lol that rhymes :) best of luck

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I think I will use the hernia excuse to for work. Will need to research it a bit more before though as I have no idea what it is or why I would have it haha

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lol its a a lil hard to explaine but i understand what youre saying i had to explaine it to friends and family i too also had to research it lol :)

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Haha yeh I sorta planted the seed at work today and said I may have to get survey for a hernia and they started asking more questions. Just made stuff up haha

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Thanks so much everyone for your stories! For the people who have decided to tell the "truth" that awesome and that's your decision. But I have decided this is my journey, and I'm not going to be judged by people who don't understand what it's like to be me. I workout every day. Have done every diet, play netball several times a week. I'm not taken the "easy way out" as a lot of people will think. I'm making a decision to change my life. For me the hardest part about this is going to be having to stop exercise! You are all such strong people! I am booked in for my first consult with the surgeon next week. Excited and nervous! How long after you began the process did u actually have your surgery?

This is exactly how I feel. I may not work out everyday, but I do work out, and I dont eat a ton of crap and I have been to weight watchers, I have had weight loss doctors and nothing worked. I am very much looking forward to having a new tool to help me.

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I told my dad and 1 friend. I don't want anyone knowing. At work they think I had gallbladder surgery!

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I have told my husband and kids, of course, my parents, two friends, and my boss. That's it. I have not told my in-laws, siblings, or anyone else. I may decide to tell them later, I may not, but I am pretty sure I will not be telling anyone else at all until after my surgery.

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I HAVE BEEN VERY PROD OF MY BAND AND MY DR IVE TOLD EVERY ONE IF THEY DONT HAVE ANY THING GOOD TO SAY I DONT REALLY CARE BUT MY JOB IS THE KIND THAT I HAD TO TAKE 2 WEEKS OFF AND HAD MEDICAL SLIP SO PEOPLE AT WORK NEW I REALLY DONT CARE I DID THIS FOR ME NO ONE ELSE SO THE HECK WITH ALL THE BAD NEG ATIVE THINGS AND PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEA THAT THIS IS A VERY HARD THING TO DO MY FAMILY HAS BEEN GREAT HUBBY AND DAUGHTER SHES A NURSE AND SON ALL HAVE JUST BEEN SO GREAT DOWN 45 LBS OTHER DAY AT WORK SOME ONE SAID I JUST DONT SEE THE WEIGHT LOSS AND I SAID WHO CARES I DIDNT DO IT FOR YOU HAHAHAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love what you said, I didn't do it for you. Great line.

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im still trying to figure out now cause they see im loosing weight and there not believing the hernia story anymore lol but im not telling

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Tell them you have to lose the weight & change your diet to prevent the hernia from coming back, that is what I think I am going to say if anyone asks. Afterall they can be caused frombeing overweight.

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im still trying to figure out now cause they see im loosing weight and there not believing the hernia story anymore lol but im not telling

Big deal if they don't believe you

You don't owe them anything. Health is a very private and confidential topic

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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