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The wait for surgery is mentally killing me.
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The wait for surgery/approval is killing me!
I’m in the process of qualifying for surgery through my husband’s insurance. They require you to go through 4 months of monitoring and nutrition counseling prior to approval. I went to my first appt Jan 3rd which would put my surgery the first part of May should everything fall right.
At my first appt I asked my patient care advocate if I needed to start trying to get in to shape (walking, eating better, etc) prior to surgery. She said that no, I needed to actually not do ANYTHING, that I needed to try to stay the same weight and not fluctuate at all because the insurance company will be watching my number to see that I can’t lose weight and keep it off on my own. She said it’s very important to NOT try to lose weight right now.
I know that you would think I would be excited – it’s like a free, eat-what-you-want card, right?!?! Well I’m having a hard time with it. I finally have gotten to a point mentally where I WANT this surgery for my HEALTH. I want this surgery so I can get in better shape and run. I want to be able to walk without not being able to breathe. The thought of having to wait until April-May before I can focus on this new, healthy “Me” is really harder than I thought. I’m finding myself making healthier choices on my own…not eating until I’m ready to pop. Not choosing a second helping of something. You would think I’d be proud of myself…and I AM! But my silly little BIG number on my scale is starting to creep down…not cool for insurance purposes!
I’ve been here before - SO motivated to succeed. Actually CRAVING exercise and healthy food, actually WANTING to make better choices…only to lose my willpower in a few short weeks. I am SO tired of this yo-yo and am just ready for the new me…like, YESTERDAY