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I find it amusing as hell the two people (I'd say ladies, but they don't fit that category) bashing me for taking "tiny bites" and using "tiny cutlery", and acting like petty juveniles, are also two who are infamous for howling on here how they're not losing weight due to their own bad habits.

Jealousy is a horrible disease. Do get well soon.

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Too bad u didn't lose any from that big head of yours

I wasn't going to reply to this thread but then I got here. As a friend... This was not a dignified reply and its beneath you. You went from being devils advocate to being the devil. From being right to being dead wrong.

There are effective ways of communicating without losing yourself to personal attacks on others.

Please take this in the spirit in which it was intended.

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I would just like to say that I am not banded yet, but I LOVE using this website to get information. I think people who have been where I am now is one of my greatest resources.

That said, reading this thread does not promote a welcoming, comfortable place to go to for information. I value opinions from others , and I am one of those people who really does like to hear the good, bad, and ugly. If I am not losing weight because I am a closet milkshake drinker, that's on me. However, if that is NOT the case, I may want to lean on some of you for support. That might include asking a question that has already been asked. There are hundreds of threads on this site, and when you are new it is very overwhelming. Please let's keep in mind that this website was created to be a source of information, learning, and support. Whatever personal issues you have with another member do not need to be hashed out on a public thread like this. If you don't agree with a suggestion, no one is holding a gun to your head. Just don't do it! But there may be others who love the idea! Lets all be respectful and considerate and act like the adults that we are.

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During my professional career, I was in a "helping profession", and perhaps I would be considered to by some to be one of those "know it all" posters who do post about my own experiences and what I have discovered along my WL journey. My intention is only altruistic, to assist others to better understand that there is a psychology behind the choices we make every day.

Many of those choices are responsible for our success, or lack of success with weight loss. It has nothing to do with the rate which one looses their weight, but everything to do with your level of honesty and accountability with yourself to comply with the bandster rules as they apply to you.

I don't post much on the forum these days, as it is my experience that there are many individuals who don't appear to have made the commitment necessary with adopting a healthier life style. This may or may not be related to the pre op education and screenings which they needed to complete.

I make it a point to not be critical of others, and I do subscribe to the belief that the only "dumb" question is the one you want an answer to and don't ask. I will always advise others who post medical related questions to ask their medical team for their advice, we are not physicians.

The success we experience with weight loss is directly related to the daily choices we make, and our level of commitment to be diet compliant and exercise. When a person "cheats" on their diet, the only one who looses out is that person.

Just my honest opinion, and I agree that there is never any excuse to resort to name calling. This is an open forum, and we all have a responsibility to behave in the manner of mature adults.

Others mileage may vary...

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During my professional career' date=' I was in a "helping profession", and perhaps I would be considered to by some to be one of those "know it all" posters who do post about my own experiences and what I have discovered along my WL journey. My intention is only altruistic, to assist others to better understand that there is a psychology behind the choices we make every day...[/quote']

Nope. I don't consider you a "know it all", because you are never condescending in your responses. You also don't make people feel like its a bother if they ask a question we've seen a million times.

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I wasn't going to reply to this thread but then I got here. As a friend... This was not a dignified reply and its beneath you. You went from being devils advocate to being the devil. From being right to being dead wrong.

There are effective ways of communicating without losing yourself to personal attacks on others.

Please take this in the spirit in which it was intended.

Noted

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I think a huge part of the problem is that WLS is a commercially promoted and sold item, just like shoes and cake and beer. Watch the commercials, phone up the first contact (sales!) number, spend a few minutes with the glossy brochure or the soft lighting music in the background success story videos. It would seem some of you did not experience this, but I can guarantee you that a lot of bandsters WERE promised that it would be, if not "easy", then certainly "easier" than losing weight by diet alone.

There were only two clinics available to me, so I contacted them both. At the first one I received the sales pitch extraordinaire, at the second I received a call from the surgeon. Of course, I chose the second one. But had I not been doing my research, or had I reacted to the offer from the first clinic (we can probably drop the price a bit!!)...I think I would have gone into this considerably less informed than I did. Yes, you can do your own research, but people tend to rely on their surgeons advice, and the advice of the medical team, and if that advice is slanted to promote sales you will have a lot of people out here who DON"T know that this was going to be really effing hard at times.

As for starting multiple threads ---- most days I come on here and I have absolutely no idea from the thread title what the thread might be about. A quick glance today shows me titles like "wondering", and "you can't make demands unless", and "frustrated" etc. If I was new and had a question, I am not sure I would want to click into each and every one of those threads to see if they are about what I want to talk about. Also, if I have a question, I am not sure I want to "hijack" someone else's thread -- perhaps they are frustrated or looking for support and my jumping in with my needs might derail that.

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Roscoe, I was banded the week before you and I am still learning and finding my way with my band. I wish I had it all figured out already like you seem to, if that was the case I think I too would be jumping in telling everyone else how to get there. But I think I am going to hold off on that until I actually get there, or at least till I have a few more notches in my belt.

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Hi all! I'm glad to hear that you basically agree. I hoovered around this site for two months. And what annoyed me the most was the questions which were asked the same day by different people! Actually most questions have been asked and answered many many times. I can sort of understand, but when it's minutes from each other, it's wasteful.

From the Forum Guidelines:

"Please note that this is NOT a guideline against inadvertently posting a question another member has asked before. We explicitly allow members to post questions that have been asked previously by other members. If you see a member post a topic that you think has been asked before by another member, please respond politely or simply move on.

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Hi there- Wallflower- I'm not sure when you were banded, but you could still be in bandster hell-- need more fills. Like B-52 says, it's all about the restriction! Of course, there are still sliders to contend with (including my nemisis, ice cream), that we have to have willpower for, but it sounds like you're really doing what you need to do. It is frustrating when the weight loss is slower than we want, when you know you're doing what you need to do. We're all individuals and will all lose at different rate, even doing everything "right."

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This thread is out of hand - and individuals are missing the point.

What a shame.

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Wow! I get on here this morning and everyone is stabbing each other with tiny cutlery!!!!!

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Hi there- Wallflower- I'm not sure when you were banded' date=' but you could still be in bandster hell-- need more fills. Like B-52 says, it's all about the restriction! Of course, there are still sliders to contend with (including my nemisis, ice cream), that we have to have willpower for, but it sounds like you're really doing what you need to do. It is frustrating when the weight loss is slower than we want, when you know you're doing what you need to do. We're all individuals and will all lose at different rate, even doing everything "right."[/quote']

I was banded 9-11-12. Feels so long ago but my surgeon says I need to be patient, and slow and steady is the way to go. I am trying :)

Thanks for your post

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This thread is out of hand - and individuals are missing the point.

What a shame.

Um I think everyone is being polite???

If someone disagrees it doesn't =rudeness.

Most people agree with you. Calm down. You win

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Wow! I get on here this morning and everyone is stabbing each other with tiny cutlery!!!!!

The only tiny cutlery I have is a baby spoon, so don't worry, I can't do much damage.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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