To tell or not to tell......

[merika0821 7]

Well I finally got the call my surgery has been set for January 18! I'm scared, excited, nervous, and ready all at the same time. The only thing I'm going back and forth with is telling people. My husband, mom, sis, mom-in-law know but really only because I need help taking care of my daughters (my Dr is out if town). But my husband thinks I should tell my friends. I trust my friends but I'm afraid of the judgment. We all have judgement and I don't want them saying things behind my back. Did y'all tell?

[Onamissionn2013 50]

Ain't nobody's busniess but your own. People mean well but they're quick with an opinion on YOUR body.

I'm not even telling my job why I'm out. Had my doctor write a note that I'm under medical care. By law they can't ask me what.

[DetChatt 188]

It took me a good long while to tell people. Very few knew at first, but I would slowly tell more and more as I felt more comfortable with it. I found people were very understanding and curious about the science of it and not as judgemental (at least to my face). You do whatever you're comfortable with. You tell now, later, or never. That's 100% your decision.

Congratulations on your surgery and best of luck!

[CaGottaBand 498]

I haven't told any of my friends. Only my husband, immediate family and my supervisor at work (since I'll be using so much sick time). I have no desire to tell my friends. I know they'd view it as the "easy way out" and that simply isn't true. I'd rather not deal with the misconceptions.

[SHARON11 5]

my biggest regret was telling people. i couldnt keep my mouth shut because i was so excited. people often think that when u have weight lose surgery your taking the easy way out. Making the decision to get the lap band was very hard, i should of kept it between me and close family. I have a friend that had the surgery and didn"t lose any weight, coworkers took great pleasure in comparing my sucess to hers. Dont tell ur coworkers its none of their buisness. When the weight comes off take the compliments and if they ask tell them weight watchers.

[CHEZNOEL 4,061]

You will have to make your own decision. I told my immediate family only and 2 very close friends. No one else knows. It was not that I was worried what they would say, but that I wanted to avoid the crap about taking the easy way out. This journey is NOT EASY! If people ask, I tell them I went to a nutritionist (true,) I am eating high Protein diet with Portion Control (true,) and I am exercising regularly. The focus for me was getting healthy and how I did was my business.

[Julie121212 58]

I like all of these responses! I have only told my husband and that's it. Not even my kids know. Eventually I will tell my mom and sister when I see them next (we live on opposite sides of the country). I am glad I haven't told anyone and maybe I will change my mind later but once it's out of the bag, you cannot put it back in. It's your choice, your journey, you do what is comfortable for you. Congrats!

[Terry Poperszky 2,784]

Immediate family and a couple of close friends to support me before the surgery. After surgery, I will tell as it comes up, easier for me to tell than to make excuses as to why I won't eat. I didn't want the negative before, making the surgery decision harder. Now? Bring it on.

[bar2373 138]

I have told family and a couple friends. I am wishing I had waited until I had the surgery to tell most of them. I wished I had kept it to just my husband, but I had to make arrangments for work.

Best of Luck

[honk 780]

I definitely would not tell coworkers. Because basically I don't need food police. I eat a very conservative diet and when I say very I need very. And if I decide to have 1 cookie from the tray that someone brought in I will have calculated those calories into my day. And I've made a conscious decision to eat that cookie. I will also spend at least an hour at the gym working it of. There a lot of people out there however who will see it as their responsibility to tell you that you're on the diet and shouldn't eat that cookie. Regardless of the fact that they haven't seen the inside of the gym in 20 years.

[Lapbandster 496]

I didn't tell anyone and it was the BEST decision i could have made.

It's hard to believe just how insensitive people can be, and I really didn't wanna deal with other's judgments while on my personal journey.

also, in my opinion, people tend to think that surgery is "the easy way" out. A bandster knows this to be untrue, I go to the gym at least 4x a week, count my calories, limit my portions etc. but everyone else thinks we took the easy road, which i don't like.

[t2dav 17]

I have chosen not to tell anyone except my husband. I recently had a co-worker that had the surgery and she only told our supervisor, well needless to say she should have posted it on a billboard! The supervisor (being over weight & miserable herself) undermined everything she lost with rude comments behind her back. It was the worse case of high school musical you have ever seen! She did great and lost a lot but no one backed her bc of rude comments made by our supervisor. Oh and thank goodness I had enough and quit!!

[Lapbandster 496]

I have chosen not to tell anyone except my husband. I recently had a co-worker that had the surgery and she only told our supervisor, well needless to say she should have posted it on a billboard! The supervisor (being over weight & miserable herself) undermined everything she lost with rude comments behind her back. It was the worse case of high school musical you have ever seen! She did great and lost a lot but no one backed her bc of rude comments made by our supervisor. Oh and thank goodness I had enough and quit!!

Yep, thats exactly why I didn't tell.

I have always been grateful for that decision

Only my immediate family knows and even that makes me feel uncomfortable (I can feel the judgementalism!) But I had no choice...

[merika0821 7]

Thank you everyone so much. All of the feedback just reassured my decision not to tell people because of my fears about the negativity people will have. It's so sad that people will just judge you and see this as an easy way out when it's definitely not! It's a tool to get healthy and live the life we want. Thanks again.

[CaGottaBand 498]

I have chosen not to tell anyone except my husband. I recently had a co-worker that had the surgery and she only told our supervisor, well needless to say she should have posted it on a billboard! The supervisor (being over weight & miserable herself) undermined everything she lost with rude comments behind her back. It was the worse case of high school musical you have ever seen! She did great and lost a lot but no one backed her bc of rude comments made by our supervisor. Oh and thank goodness I had enough and quit!!

She could have sued! I believe that's a violation of HIPPA!!