Venting Session

[LaLu 37]

I hate how many people on here lecture other people. They tell everyone what they should be doing and that if you don't do it a certain way it won't work. Which is bull. And not to mention how rude everyone is these days. I come on here for help and support, and now if I come on here I just want to scream at people to lighten up. Don't be so strict on others! If that's how you want to do this journey that's fine, but I don't need to hear your lectures and you don't need to be so stuck up just because your loosing weight. Everyone here is loosing weight, you aren't any better or smarter than other people.

As long as you're loosing weight and happy with yourself and what you are doing, that's all that matters!

[sarawray 44]

No one is being rude to anyone on here. We simply share our stories, and try to help one another. I suggest if you are that unhappy maybe you should find another site. We are all family here and if you dont want to be part of it go somewhere else.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Not sure what you define as rude but when I post in a thread I am giving someone an answer. Based on what works for me...no one else. I try to be consise, direct and compassionate but you need to understand that when people post things like... Why isn't it working, I am not losing, is it wrong to cheat.....people who have been around a while have a hard time wrapping their heads around people sabatoging their success and then coming on here to say its all the band, the doctors, their dogs ...anyone but themselves are at fault.

So all they can do is tell them what worked for them and what didn't. Sometimes it's tough love. Sometimes it's compassionate but one thing you can always count on is a lot of similar and more often a lot of varied replies because each person is different...and each dr's instruction is different.

One thing I have learned is that if I post a question or ask and opinion...I may not like all the replies but I will never get upset at someone for offering their opinion. And if I do I shouldn't have asked the question in the first place.

Many people on this site are at goal and just trying to give back to those struggling to get there. I have never been offended at an opinion. I just take what I need and move on.

[LaLu 37]

No one is being rude to anyone on here. We simply share our stories' date=' and try to help one another. I suggest if you are that unhappy maybe you should find another site. We are all family here and if you dont want to be part of it go somewhere else.[/quote']

Sarawray that's what I'm talking about. There isn't any need for that. A lot of people have been saying the people on here are very "catty" and mean and there's no need for it. We are all going through the same thing no one is better or worse than anyone. Everyone needs to just take a breath and relax! Why can't we all just help and support each other without being rude?

[LaLu 37]

Not sure what you define as rude but when I post in a thread I am giving someone an answer. Based on what works for me...no one else. I try to be consise' date=' direct and compassionate but you need to understand that when people post things like... Why isn't it working, I am not losing, is it wrong to cheat.....people who have been around a while have a hard time wrapping their heads around people sabatoging their success and then coming on here to say its all the band, the doctors, their dogs ...anyone but themselves are at fault.

So all they can do is tell them what worked for them and what didn't. Sometimes it's tough love. Sometimes it's compassionate but one thing you can always count on is a lot of similar and more often a lot of varied replies because each person is different...and each dr's instruction is different.

One thing I have learned is that if I post a question or ask and opinion...I may not like all the replies but I will never get upset at someone for offering their opinion. And if I do I shouldn't have asked the question in the first place.

Many people on this site are at goal and just trying to give back to those struggling to get there. I have never been offended at an opinion. I just take what I need and move on.[/quote']

Yes that is true and I agree completely, if people need advice or want help then of course people should tell them advice and what they think. But more and more people seem to be forcing what works for them on to other people. Just because it works for them doesn't mean it will work for other people. I'm not talking about offering advice, or helping someone out who asked for help. I'm talking about the people that go out of their way to make other people believe that their way is the only way. For example: telling someone they won't succeed unless they buy a certain book. That is stupid, I don't need to buy a book to loose weight. But if someone said "oh this book is great I would recommend it if you get stuck for want some tips" then I would have no problem with that.

Too many people are lecturing on how to loose the weight, not just offering advice or explaining what works for them. And they talk down to people who don't do it their way and act like they are idiots. Everyone should be able to do what works or them without being guilt tripped or getting told they are loosing the weight too slow or not trying hard enough. Everyone is different and no one seems to get that. And I just don't like that. We should all be here to support one other and just relax and enjoy the ups and downs of this journey.

[dfav3412 116]

I've got to agree that some people, thank goodness not the majority, are very harsh and judgemental in their responses. I seldom post but I do read these boards. This is a very good place to get information and exchange ideas. And if there is a point someone needs to make that might not agree with another persons post then it can be stated factually and respectfully.

[LaLu 37]

Harsh and judgmental is exactly what I meant! That's the words I needed. That's what I mean when I said "rude". Haha thanks dfav you said it better than me

(and yes you're right it's not the majority of people)

[Maddysgram 6,159]

Our administrator Alex has handled this subject quite a few times. He wrote

"this is an open forum and everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it is within forum rules. If a statement is made you don't like ignore it and move on. If there is a poster you continually do not like you are given the option to BLOCK that person".

Thank you Alex for working these options into your forum. You were thinking ahead.

Everyone of us have different personalities, we come from different cultures, different stresses in our lives. So yes, you most definitely will get different responses. It's a fact of life.

Please everyone take Alex's suggestions .

Happy Holiday's to all!

[2muchfun 8,928]

I guess you can count this post as one of your "hated" posts.

If you plan on posting to any forum asking for advice, you sure well better expect to get it. If you expect people are going to tiptoe around your hypersensitivities, expect to be disappointed.

tmf

[LaLu 37]

I guess you can count this post as one of your "hated" posts.

If you plan on posting to any forum asking for advice' date=' you sure well better expect to get it. If you expect people are going to tiptoe around your hypersensitivities, expect to be disappointed.

tmf[/quote']

That's what I was meaning before though, if someone asks for advice then of course it's fine to share your advice and experiences and what works for you. But I wasn't talking about people asking for advice, I'm talking about the people who just write a comment about something that helps them and someone else will say they are wrong and that their way is the only way. Its not true, there are all sorts of ways to loose weight and everyone will have their own way to do it. Just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong. I also wasn't talking about myself and what people say to me, I was just speaking in general. When I read through comments on posts/threads I just noticed people seem to be so angry and harsh about silly things.

There is no need to be so hateful, it doesnt help anyone and I just don't see the point in it.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

Yes that is true and I agree completely, if people need advice or want help then of course people should tell them advice and what they think. But more and more people seem to be forcing what works for them on to other people. Just because it works for them doesn't mean it will work for other people. I'm not talking about offering advice, or helping someone out who asked for help. I'm talking about the people that go out of their way to make other people believe that their way is the only way. For example: telling someone they won't succeed unless they buy a certain book. That is stupid, I don't need to buy a book to loose weight. But if someone said "oh this book is great I would recommend it if you get stuck for want some tips" then I would have no problem with that.

Too many people are lecturing on how to loose the weight, not just offering advice or explaining what works for them. And they talk down to people who don't do it their way and act like they are idiots. Everyone should be able to do what works or them without being guilt tripped or getting told they are loosing the weight too slow or not trying hard enough. Everyone is different and no one seems to get that. And I just don't like that. We should all be here to support one other and just relax and enjoy the ups and downs of this journey.

you make valid points.... but i just think people need to have thicker skin. Seriously this is an open forum...not a members only invited type of "club" so you are going to have a melting pot of people who were not schooled in manners as much as the next person. I can pick those people out right away and I tend to breeze through their postings because i don't think anyone can force their opinions on anyone else unless the person is open to accepting them...

As for people selling books or telling me it's their way or the highway... I pretty much read and move on. I paid my dr a lot of money to guide me and at the end if the day I will follow his advice. But I can tell you there were many times I would tell him about something I read and would ask his opinion on it.

There are basics every bandster should follow... Chew, liquids after fills, eat small portions and drink lots of Water. After that you will start seeing thousands of posts on what worked for others... That's where you need to pick and chose and if need be...ignore.

[LaLu 37]

Well said floridays

People do new thicker skin, especially to survive here. But it just sucks that that's the way things are. I feel sorry for the people who don't have thick skin, because they probably need more support than anyone, and they are the ones missing out or getting these harsh/judgmental comments and maybe not coping as well as the rest of us. People don't think about who's on the other end of these comments they make and what they have been through.

I just wanted to make everyone think about the comments they make and how they effect others, but looks like its just made things worse.

[forensic6 89]

Lannah, ummm, pretty sure she was referring to you about having thicker skin. Please refrain from having the cheese with your whine.

[line-dancer 810]

wow, I sure hope I am not one of t to those people you are talking about. I think most of us thing we are being helpful and not rude and don't want to hurt some ones feelings but its hard to get your feelings I while writing a post. Me for one if I have been rude in any way I am sorry and it hunger talking....I hope everyone has a great weight success.

[LaLu 37]

Lannah' date=' ummm, pretty sure she was referring to you about having thicker skin. Please refrain from having the cheese with your whine.[/quote']

Lol yes I am aware of that she was referring to me as one of those people. I was talking about people besides me who might not cope with it. Your comment just proves my point exactly. What do you get out of being so rude?