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I Don't Want To Tell Anyone I'm Considering Lapband



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I don't know why this process of secrecy.If you're married or live with a significant other.The right thing is to be forthcoming and tell it like it is.Its similar to an alcoholic or drug addict fessing up.that he or she has a problem or disease if you will.This shows your spouse or significant other that you have a problem.that you have done your research and that you have come up with.a valuable solution.By God this is what you're going to do.this allows others to support your journey.journies taken alone are never healthy.mentally or spiritually.You create a better journey if you have a buddy and God.

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I only told my husband. it can be a lonely journey. sometimes i wish i could talk about it with other people but i dont want to be judged. its no-one elses business. i funded every penny of it myself with a loan that i'm still going to be paying in 2 years time! but i see it as worth every penny and i have no regrets. i feel that only people who have actually gone through this can truly understand. the good and bad.highs and lows.its good to have this website to turn to.. ;)

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some people on here saying about telling a spouse or partner. i cant see how the hell you could keep it from your partner. physically i couldnt have done. I could hardly walk around for two or three days. i think my husband would have noticed somehow! as for work and friends.. told them i had flu so they stayed away!!

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I told the best friend and some of my family. My best friend was very supportive. I don't know what I would do with out her. A few people in my family supported me but wish I never told the family. When my mom found out she freaked out. Apparently she heard horror stories and thought I was going to die.

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Most people who aren't successful or have problems don't follow the rules of the Band. It's a tool, not a cure all. I have done my research and am completely ready for my surgery Nov. 13th. I have told people but I have thick skin and am comfortable with my decision. To hell with the nay Sayers... Time to do something for myself and take my life back! Good luck!

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Focus on you, not others right now. Don't feel guilty for keeping your business to yourself. Best of luck to you.

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Thanks everyone for being there. I have already talked it over with my long term Bf. he doesn't want me to do it but he understands and will support my decision. He is one of those guys that can go work out for two months and drop weight and be cut up with muscle definition. Before kids I was very active and fit. After child #1 I kept on a little weight but I was curvy. Then I started an office job 13 years and another child. The pounds crept up. Then 4 years ago out of no where my youngest child be began to have seizures. Praise god he is seizure free for 4 years now and 2 years without meds. Now is moms turn to take care of her. This has been a long road. But my mind is made up. My insurance covers it and I'm mailing the paperwork off today. Who hoo for me!!!!!

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I too dont want everyone knowing, but my husband has told everyone, so Im a little upset about it. Ive only told my close friends.

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I'm getting banded on Dec. 4th. So far I have told my husband, my parents, my boss, 3 coworkers, and an old coworker who was banded 2 years ago. So far everyone I have told has been very supportive. I haven't told any of my friends though. They are all relatively thin and very health conscientious. I have a fear that they will all judge me and think I'm taking the easy way out or that I haven't tried "conventional" means of weight loss hard enough. I'm sure I will tell them eventually. I'm just not sure when. I am planning on vlogging my journey and posting my videos on YouTube so it's possible that anyone could see those videos and find out. I'm ok with that. I feel like I'll be judged less if I tell people I have the band after I'm actually banded vs telling them pre-banding because at that point their opinion doesn't matter since I'll already have the band lol.

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I too chose to keep my surgery between my husband, and a few others. I can count on one hand how many people know that I have it. I am almost 5 yrs out and I have kept it to these few people. Quite honestly my weight issues are not really anyone elses business. I am not ashamed to have had the procedure, but I am so much more than a women who had wls.

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i'm having my surgery on november 19th...i've only told my family, and a few close friends.....its going 2 be hard 2 explain to my coworkers why i havent been to work for a month, why im not eating like i usually do (we order take out all the time and do lots of pot lucks) and why im losing so much weight....but we've just started a health club at work w/zumba and weight watchers etc. so i plan on just telling them im eating healthier and exercising...i feel like its none of their business and dont want my name to be in their mouths with negative things 2 say behind my back. point blank period. i havent told any of my male friends because they've already talked bad about weight loss surgery, and like me just the way i am...especially my best friend, he'd just try 2 talk me out of it and frown upon it. My oldest sister had some negative things 2 say about it at first but i shut that down quick by letting her know that if she continues with the negativity ill be forced to slowly cut her out of my life being as though this is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE....and that shut her up and made her more supportive very QUICKLY. my middle sister is the most supportive keeps me motivated and positive and makes me stay on track....my mom wishes she could have the surgery...her doctor told her no (he's just no knowledgeable) and she doesnt want to quit cigarettes...my dad was against it at first but when he realized i was actually serious he hopped on board and is very supportive, even plans on taking off work 2 be in the hospital with me the entire time 2 make sure my doctors are on top of things (yeah im such a daddy's girl ;) im a bit worried about my personal life i.e. dating, relationships etc. im just recently out of a relationship (eehhh 6mos is recent for me) and with not being able 2 eat normally how that will affect my dating...and how ill bring it up to anyone i decide 2 date in the future....buuutttt im just going 2 take it one day at a time, and if they are important enough, they will understand. (sorry for the lllooonnngggg bio, just in a chatty mood)

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I started of feeling that way, I didn't want to tell anyone other than my bf. I became to excited and anxious and all these emotions as the time became closer I ended up telling almost everyone.! lol.. Just as Floridays mentioned, It's inspirational. I received only positive encouragement, other's saying I was brave to do it that they have always wanted to. Family friends alike. I might have been lucky.. but it's turned into a good thing letting it be known, especially for myself. I have always hid my weight and anything to do with being fat... hush hush.. now that I did this and everyone knows I feel free.. I feel good.. no limits!

but of course.. to each it's own and whatever you feel comfortable with :)

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I told certain people but no I think everyone knows lol envious is what they tell me. Seriously it's kinda cool to have and who cares what they think. Ur doing it for your health.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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