Hi everyone. New here but am just feeling very lonely, scared, anxious. Wondered if anyone else has ridden this roller coaster ride of emotions?

I had Lapband surgery on 9-11-12 and the whole 6 month preop process I was so excited and determined and convinced that THIS is the solution I've been looking for! So for months my mind & heart have been in overdrive just dreaming all the new things I will finally be able to experience when I lose weight. The list is gigantic and full of dreams both large and small, since even though I'm 34 and have lived life a huge girl I have managed to be invisible for quite some time. Funny, that. Of course, this is my fault too I know because my shell is pretty unbreakable.

But anyway, now the surgery is done, and has seemed to go very well for me thus far this week, which I am so thankful for. But now I look at this list (yes I made a list of everything I wanna do like a nerd) and instead of feeling happy and excited like before, now I feel anxious and scared. Scared that I'm fooling myself that I could possibly have this life where I bungee jump, fall in love, get a license, have friends, learn to swim... just so many things I've missed. What if I fail at this? Where does this leave me? What if I'm a success at weight loss, but still too chicken **** to take a damn risk?!

Can anyone relate???

It is fear of the unknown, but I'll tell ya, nothing to be scared of!!! It's great, I only wish I'd done it sooner. It's hard work, no lie, and that is something I like about it. I control it, I choose to do it or not. But before, when I chose to do it the results were long in coming, and I gained the weight back when I stopped. NOW, it's a lifetime thing. It's forever. And I'm being successful, and I can restart if I do happen to fall. In fact, that's something I found interesting- before, when I "fell off the wagon" I would pretty much just throw in the towel. Now, I just pick myself up, brush myself off and start over the next- MEAL- not day. It's so much easier and I am so glad I got this band!

Nicki