SO ok, I can't get into the journals and since I am at work eating hundreds of Reese's miniature cups (of course wrapped all pretty in the Easter colors) and telling myself tomorrow I will start better again, tomorrow I will eat no more sweets, tomorrow no more cokes or anything fried...tomorrow I will eat the meats I need to eat instead of the sweets and breads that go down easily. I have written this post over and over again about how I have lost control of my eating. I am scared now though...I am scared because my diet all weekend long consisted of hundreds of reese's miniature cups. I was on spring break and used that as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. I went to the store and bought this crap over the weekend and ate nothing but that, then I stuffed my purse full this morning so I could eat that throughout the day. I tried a chicken sandwich for lunch and it came back up, but the reese's have since stayed down. I am scared I will get diabetes from eating this way, but I can't stop! I had to stop typing so I could make sure there wasn't a reese's hiding in some recess of my purse that I missed. There isn't one, but I have my cole to wash it all down. I hate this.

Thanks for letting me vent, but I seriously don't know what to do so that I will get on the losing side of this again. I need serious help, none of my old tricks are working anymore. I can no longer Psych myself out to eat healthy like I used to and have gone without exercise for so long I have no idea how to start back again. It's probably been a month since my body has seen any kind of decent workout. I feel like crap! I hate my job, lost a house we were going to make a bid on to buy, I feel fatter than ever and I have a Statistics exam on Thursday and all I want to do is sleep for about a month straight! GOD, I could win a 1st place trophy for bitching about my life though...is that my silver lining??

Maybe we should form a secret society of Reese's peanutbutter cup sneakers. For the last month those things as well as those great Dove eggs they've got out for Easter have me mezmerized. I'm sittin' home recovering from a gall bladder surgery gone wrong/dislocated hip. So all I do is obsess about what sweets there are for me to eat. I bake Cookies, cakes, brownies and if I happen to get out...I buy candy.

Somehow I managed to shake some sense into myself and for the last 3 or 4 days I've been fighting off the urges. I don't know how I did it other than the fact that I started logging my food again. I'll be so glad to go back to work again (not).

Dawn, have you baked the peanutbutter cookies that you put the reeses cup in when they come out of the oven!! Ok ENOUGH!!! Keep fighting the urge!! I dreamed about those dango peanutbutter eggs last night!! I swear they sneak heroin in them! Fight the Power!! HA!

oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, peanutbutter eggs (drool) Hubby had to hide those from me. :nervous

I didn't make peanutbutter Cookies with reese's cup in the center, but I did make peanutbutter cookies with hershey's kisses in them....mmmmmmmmmm Dang it, now I got it in the head again......just kidding.

Reese's are evil and must be destroyed! I'm doing a pretty good

job of destroying every bag I buy (wipes chocolate from face)

Christmas, Valentines, Easter...damn I cant get away from all the chocolate temptations and Im losing this battle.

Being empty doesnt help either!

:help:

If you're starting a "Fell off the bandwagon" group here, please add my name to the list!

I recently had my band partially unfilled and I CAN'T STOP EATING!! I had a miserable 4-5 days when I could barely get down water!! I lost 5 lbs. from it all. As soon as I could start eating again, it's been a feeding frenzy!! I have some kind, caring friends who brought dinner over for me & my family. There was a jello/whip cream salad, ice cream with hot fudge, full fat yogurt, a creamy chicken casserole thing that was heavenly & MORE!! I am downing it all and have gained back all the 5 lbs. I had weight I lost & more. I am feeling ZERO restriction and just having a party!!

Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!?!?!?!??! Thank goodness there hasn't been any chocolate in the house because the entire bag would be GONE.

How is it that we can be in such control over ourselves & then the next day we completely LOSE IT!! It's like a Jeckel & Hyde thing. It makes me feel like a freak when I'm so out of control!

SOMEBODY PLEASE WIRE MY MOUTH SHUT & THROW ME INTO THE PSYCH WARD!! :speechles

You have to go on that new inventors show with the new elbow screw for weight loss Jack, you could make millions!!! HA!! It is just so comfortable to fall back into those old eating habits...it's easier than to actually have to think about what is going into our mouths or to think about it and then throw that thought away because the food is so satisfying for the moment. I am getting on the scale in the morning and I know some crying will be going on afterwards and I hope that will kick me into shape because I am sure to have gained weight this week. Good thing the PMS is done though so I should be less reactive to my cravings hopefully. I'm still not back on track, but hoping to be so soon enough I've still got to lose another 75 pounds and the second half will be sooo much harder than the first half!