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I'm so angry! My brother told me today that my surgery was nothing serious and just in and out and no reason for him to have had to call to see how I was. And when I told him that I had gone through so much leading upto it and in this last week ( I'm 5 days post op) (for me especially emotionally), he said, well It was something you chose to do and knew what it would include!

I feel so insulted that he said that! It has been such an emotional roller coaster for me and with so many horrible moments and painful, that it was just so hurtful to me he said that. My stomach has literally been hurting since!

I have tons of other support from my parents and husband and other family members, but this just was really hurtful to me. Sorry, had to share... :-/

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Long story short, boys can suck!!! You need to heal now so don't bottle up your feelings, vent to friends who have siblings and can understand the dynamics involved.

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you still have us

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I know it hurts but ignore him. You have people who support you 100%.

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Don't worry about it, everyone doesn't have an understanding. Be thankful for the support of your husband and parents.

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I am wondering why he reacted like he did...is he overweight and jealous? Is he really protective of you? Does he not like heavy people?

Just curious. You know that he will come around. Men just don't seem to have the ability (ir desire, sometimes) to put themselves in someone else's shoes! :-/. But like someone else said...you've got us. :)

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A lot of people will react that way.....but its those closest to you that can be the most hurtful....it is your journey and not his so people can become a bit tired of it all being about you.....I like Eleanor Roosevelt's quote.....no one can make you feel inferior without your permission......you don't need reassurance you have done the right thing....just self belief.....that's all that matters....otherwise you could become 'put down' by other people's negative thoughts....which do impact on your self esteem....chin up!!!! :)

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It's a shame that not everyone can understand the significance of weight loss surgery. Keep your head up and lean on those that support you.

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Aww I'm sorry you had to experience that. :(

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im sorry ur brother treated you like that,it was a couple of days for anyone called and checked up on me.so i know it can hurt when ppl that should care enough to check up on u dont.

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I didn't tell anyone for fear of something like that. I am sorry and it obviously means he just doesn't really understand what you've been through. Glad there are other banders out there to listen to me ;)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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