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How Often Do You Eat Socially Now?



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I know that social eating and going to restaurants are going to be my biggest hurdle now that I'm banded. Before my band I would get take out or go out to eat once a day... Very unhealthy!

I'm 8 days post op and have had to turn down a few dinner invites already from friends because I am on puréed food. But I am going to a seafood restaurant with my visiting grandfather in a couple of weeks (I will be on soft foods by then) and am having anxiety over it. Will it always be like this? I was just wondering at what point most of you felt comfortable at a restaurant, and how often do you eat socially with friends now? What do you order?

Sorry for so many questions.

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I went through the same thing at first, but got over it quickly. My family and friends felt guilty over eating in front of me more than anything. I found myself avoiding any restaurant that didn't serve Soup and was always amazed at other bandsters that would order salad and eat chicken. I have gotten sick more times than I can count in the past 4 years, but finally found my sweet spot about 6 months ago. I am no longer hesitant to order real food when out with my friends or family. I go out or even grab my fav Chinese food a couple of times a month now. I live by fish and turkey these days for my Protein. I do not eat anything fried - the grease will kill you for sure! Had I not moved 4 hours away from my surgeon, I'm confident I would have been a "normal" bandster within that first year. That's definitely the key! I'm only at 2.7, but that amount works for me. I still have my moments, like now, that I lean towards soft foods or liquids only. Everyday is an adventure!

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I can be social and not eat much. Did it today at a BD party at work. Had a very small amount on my plate, which I picked at and never finished.

Yet talked and laughed up a storm with everyone just the same.

I did not watch them eat, and I doubt they were watching me.

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Good point. I'm completely comfortable now in front of other people. Maybe it's a chick thing, or maybe just me, but the self conscious aspect is a demon I continue to struggle with.

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I haven't had my surgery yet. I keep hearing about people having stuck episodes,and it scares me that it might happen while out to dinner with friends. but I guess that's why a lot of bandsters just order soup!

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I haven't had my surgery yet. I keep hearing about people having stuck episodes,and it scares me that it might happen while out to dinner with friends. but I guess that's why a lot of bandsters just order soup!

people only get stuck episodes, for the most part, whrn they are still fairly new and still learning to adapt to life with the band. It has been a while since I got stuck. I know what foods to avoid, and can read the warning signs very eary and have learned to stop and not push the issue.

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i am 3 weeks out i went out for mothers day trist of all there is a card that your sugeron can give you that tells them you have to have small portions and order off the kids menu also share with someone else. Or order from the starters. I made it a rule of thub never ever order something ror the frist time out

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I have no problems eating out. I look for healthier options on the menu and am not afraid to ask for sauces on the side or for something to be made with as little butter/oil as possible. I find the healthier your food choices usually the smaller the portions. I mentally divide the plate and plan on taking half of it home. I try to focus on lower fat Protein with veggies; and stay away from Pasta or rice (too many carbs). I have ordered a hamburger no bun and asked if I can have a side salad or a baked potato (salsa is great instead of butter/sour cream) instead of fries. Some hamburgers come with lettuce and tomato; I've asked for low fat dressing and eaten that as a salad. Fajitas are a great option just eat the fillings with a fork and leave the wrap. I have no trouble with eggs and order egg whites and turkey bacon when having brunch (Denny's- again all about searching out heathier options).

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I think something that we all need to remember is, we're in the social situation for the socialization not eating. Eating is just secondary to the company you're with and should have absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you have a good time.

I have been to many social situation in recent months, even at my own home, and being banded has never once effected me. As B-52 stated, I just have a small plate of whatever is being served then just pick at it. My focus is my company not my food.

I've eaten out many times, too. Again, I either order half portions (if they allow it) or I simply eat very slow, listen to my band for full signals, and stop eating when I'm satisfied. I also use an app called Lose It to track calories but it also a food search by restaurant name, so when eating out if I'm not certain I look it up there to have a look at calories and fat content before ordering.

Being banded doesn't have to stop you from having a social life or eating socially. You just have to put the focus back on the people where it belongs rather than the food being served.

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Thank you so much all of you. This has really given me some perspective. It helps to hear from those who have gone through it and changed their relationship w/ food for the better. I know my social life will not stop just because I have the band, and I don't want it to.

I am wondering if it's wise for me to test out shrimp and veggies at home before trying it at the restaurant. Just to be safe.

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I have a group of friends that meet once a month. First I'm five weeks post op today. Last Thursday was my first time out since March with the group. However, I ordered a salad knowing I wasn't goin to eat it. My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach and now it's literally true. But it felt good to leave food on my plate for a change and to have others ask for my food.

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I made It out tonight with boyfriend and believe it or not I don't care if I ever eat out again..

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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