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Being Treated Different Already Before The Band!

ilikebunnies

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sunshine412    33

sunshine412
Posted

@ Shazam.... You know what, tell them to be accountable for their health. I knew I wanted this surgery but couldnt afford it so guess what? I got a job with phenominal benefits. My surgery is covered at 100% . And got a second job just in case I wasn't approved. I don't have sympathy for people who sit arround and complain. Turn your dreams into reality or at least work towards it!!!! If you want something really bad, you will do anything to get what you desire. I truly believe that. Mabe Im too much of a type a personality... lol. I just can't stand docile people who complain about their misfortune yet don't have the balls to go after their dreams.

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auntielle    42

auntielle
Posted

I've been up & down all my life & had several "friends" who said if I lost anymore they wouldn't want to hang with me (they were thin). I've also had friends who become uncomfortable when I'm around their husbands and guys develop "feelings" after I've lost. Of course, I had NO interest in the husbands OR those guys. I wasn't interested when I was fat & I didnt change when I was thinner. I have told almost no one & don't plan to unless they are very close. It's nobody's business & I want people in my life who add to it not subtract from it. Find the true people who like you for the fabulous person you are inside. Then, when you look fabulous it will just be a bonus for you.

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sunshine412    33

sunshine412
Posted

wow, well said!!!!! So is it true that you can't eat bread once you are banded? Does it take your appetite away?

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123crod    170

123crod
Posted

I really think it depends on how much you value that friend. I have a few friends that I have to accept them as they are as I love them but do not like everything things they do and say (not weight related)

So look at his/her pros and cons. Maybe she will come around and not feel threaten when she see how happy you are. Women are just weird sometimes, they would like to know they could have what you have EVEN if they don't want it in the long run. lol

Cheri

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gottobeme    81

gottobeme
Posted

There are so many legitimate reasons for choosing to tell or not tell people you are having WLS. This is a perfect reason not to tell! I am very fortunate to have a lot of supportive people in my life who know. I have not tried to hide it from anyone....With that said, there are a few people in my life that I don't see very often that can be negative. Maybe if they were more positive they would be lucky enough to see me more often!

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ilikebunnies    48

ilikebunnies
Posted

I've been up & down all my life & had several "friends" who said if I lost anymore they wouldn't want to hang with me (they were thin). I've also had friends who become uncomfortable when I'm around their husbands and guys develop "feelings" after I've lost. Of course, I had NO interest in the husbands OR those guys. I wasn't interested when I was fat & I didnt change when I was thinner. I have told almost no one & don't plan to unless they are very close. It's nobody's business & I want people in my life who add to it not subtract from it. Find the true people who like you for the fabulous person you are inside. Then, when you look fabulous it will just be a bonus for you.

Thanks for the support!

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TracyC    32

TracyC
Posted

How do you remain a friend when you know all this?

She and I have been friends since elementary school. Back then weight wasn't the issue it is now. Because we live so far apart, it is much easier to avoid the problem conversations. We are there for each other in every other aspect. It is just one of those things you either accept or don't. I chose to accept it.

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Emilie1    3

Emilie1
Posted

Funny that this conversation is going on now...my best friend has always supported me....she is considering doing it shelf now, not because she is obese but for health reasons......my sister in law the same....the only person that ever said any thing negative was a supper skinny co worker when I was first banded.....she thought I would change in some way....guess what three years later I am still the same me:). Lol

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kah1213    311

kah1213
Posted

I have a couple really good friends that I'm NOT telling. We are friends who eat together if you know what I mean. food is our bond, but I'm the biggest out of thr group. I fear our relationship will change when I can no longer eat and pig out with them....but change doesn't have to be bad. I just think for now I need to keep this to myself and do this for myself.

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helpmomofteenagers    8

helpmomofteenagers
Posted

I haven't been banded either, but I am now finding fault with my husband of 25 yrs. At first he was all for me getting banded, but now he seems to have changed his mind on the idea. I would love for him to do it also with me, and we could go thru this whole new life style together, but instead he keeps saying I don't believe you can do this. I asked him why he thinks this, all I get is a guilt trip. But I am sticking with my decision on this surgery. At least when it comes to "friends" do this to us, we can drop them a lot easier than when you are married to the "friend" who doesn't believe in you. Im not giving up changing my lifestyle and hope you won't either. Good Luck.

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ilikebunnies    48

ilikebunnies
Posted

I have 3 best friends. I've always been the heaviest of them all, in 2005-06 I joined Weight Waters and went from 313 to 235 lbs. the second heaviest of us was maybe 220 at the time and when she found out that I was only 15 lbs heavier then her she made a big stink and said in front of every one "I have to join WW, Liz is almost thinner then me and if she loses any more then I'LL be the fattest one." I can't tell you how that hurt me. She was ok as long as I was fatter than her and she wasn't "the fattest one". I realized then that even my friends where insensitive to me (or at least she was) about my weight and it was a horrible feeling. I'm sorry you had to go through that. go get your surgery, get thinner then her and let her wallow in it if she needs to be miserable about you being thinner than her.

That sounds like an awful friend. Thanks for the sympathy and encouragement :)

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ilikebunnies    48

ilikebunnies
Posted

I have a couple really good friends that I'm NOT telling. We are friends who eat together if you know what I mean. food is our bond, but I'm the biggest out of thr group. I fear our relationship will change when I can no longer eat and pig out with them....but change doesn't have to be bad. I just think for now I need to keep this to myself and do this for myself.

I'm starting to think I should have kept my mouth shut about it.

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ilikebunnies    48

ilikebunnies
Posted

I haven't been banded either, but I am now finding fault with my husband of 25 yrs. At first he was all for me getting banded, but now he seems to have changed his mind on the idea. I would love for him to do it also with me, and we could go thru this whole new life style together, but instead he keeps saying I don't believe you can do this. I asked him why he thinks this, all I get is a guilt trip. But I am sticking with my decision on this surgery. At least when it comes to "friends" do this to us, we can drop them a lot easier than when you are married to the "friend" who doesn't believe in you. Im not giving up changing my lifestyle and hope you won't either. Good Luck.

That is a tough situation, he made be afraid of losing you when you lose? I don't know if that is the case but men can be silly sometimes. Don't let him get you down and I won't let my "friends" get me down.

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ilikebunnies    48

ilikebunnies
Posted

A BIG thanks to all of you for all your stories, advice, and understanding! It is great to have a support network to lean on that understands. You are all wonderful :)

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Buffalogyrl    17

Buffalogyrl
Posted

The pre op nurse asked me yesterday what surgery I was having I said lap band, isn't on my paperwork, she said yes but you don't look like you need it, or meet criteria! I explained that I was self pay with a BMI of 30 and met the medical criteria nt the insurance criteria. I was very offended by her judgmental statement. I'm looking forward to losing 40lbs! 40 lbs I could never loose on my own. She doesnt know that 12 years ago I weighed 210 lbs, lost a bunch of weight and have lingered at this 175-180 range forever and now I will have a physical tool to help me control my portions...that is my story and I'm sticking to it.

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Go To Topic Listing Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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