Not Really Understanding This Board.

[ducker2010 17]

I was banded in January and I've gotten a lot of help here. I've been able to talk to people and learn a lot. But lately I feel really confused. I see post after post after post of people flat out saying they're "breaking the rules" or doing wrong and they don't care. And then I'll see tons of people encourage them to break the rules. I wonder if there's any correlation between these posts and all the posts that say HELP! I'm not losing any weight!

My point here is that I figured this board would be more of a You really shouldn't do that. It's not a good idea. Rather than, Do whatever you want and live your life. Kind of thing. I guess I'm kind of disappointed. I feel like it's a privlege to have the band. Not a right I can trample all over every time I want something I'm not supposed to have.

Last night I even saw where someone said Don't listen to your doctor. They just tell you stuff to make your life miserable. Um, I'm an RN. I've NEVER told a patient something JUST to make their life miserable. And I've never heard of a doctor doing that either. There's generally a reason for what they tell you. If it doesn't make sense, ASK! It's YOUR body.

Sorry, maybe this is just a vent from having a bad day or something...

[Cheryldee 13]

I think I have seen some of the posts you refer to. I think it is wrong to tell people Its OKAY to break the rules... but the fact is, we are human, we got this way because we had eating issues, and it is unrealistic to think that we are going to be perfect everyday!~ I just try to keep my comments to where I understand that we all have made mistakes..but get back on the right track and dont make things worse. Have I eaten a milk shake when I know it's a cheat... yes. Have I tried to nibble on things thinking if I ate it slow... it would be okay... Yes... Did I learn from each of those experiences... Oh yes! I definitely think people need to Listen to their Dr's and do everything they can to follow the rules. But when you screw up..know that you are not alone and get back on it. With your medical background, you definitely could add a whole lot of insight to some of those people who make those statements. Be sure to correct people when they incorrectly tell someone poor information.. They may not be doing it intentionally and you could help them both.

[Holly Dolly 575]

People are human and no one is perfect. If I could follow the rules to a T I prob wouldn't have been overweight in the first place and needed the lapband. I've screwed up plenty of times, am I proud of it? No, but I am only accountable to myself. Sometimes it's helpful just knowing that you aren't the only one having a struggle with this journey.

[Lapbandster 496]

These are advice forums not doctors orders. People come here to talk about the techniques that work for THEM. If someone advises you to do something that you doctor has specifically said not to do then just don't do it.

For example I have read some back and forth about the 2 week liquid diet before surgery. Some doctors are super strict about this and some are not, and therefore some people give "bad" advice and tell forum members not to take it seriously. My point is: Read what others have to say and get ideas but always listen to your doctor. I don't think that anyone is intentionally trying to be misleading but they follow their OWN doctors orders which may look may look like bad advice to a patient of another doctor who has different protocols (BTW I have seen the same back and forth in regards to drinking soda- Each surgeon has a differing opinion, and what might look like terrible advice because it is the opposite of what your doctor recommends is really not)

[Lapbandster 496]

These are advice forums not doctors orders. People come here to talk about the techniques that work for THEM. If someone advises you to do something that you doctor has specifically said not to do then just don't do it.

For example I have read some back and forth about the 2 week liquid diet before surgery. Some doctors are super strict about this and some are not, and therefore some people give "bad" advice and tell forum members not to take it seriously. My point is: Read what others have to say and get ideas but always listen to your doctor. I don't think that anyone is intentionally trying to be misleading but they follow their OWN doctors orders which may look may look like bad advice to a patient of another doctor who has different protocols (BTW I have seen the same back and forth in regards to drinking soda- Each surgeon has a differing opinion, and what might look like terrible advice because it is the opposite of what your doctor recommends is really not)

[kmt1973 92]

You are seeing something I honestly don't see alot of on here. For the most part people on here tell you like it is and correct you if you are wrong. Thats why I love this site. There are occasionally times that people will encourage you to get back on the wagon, its not the same as incouraging wrong behavior. If someone on here tells publically how they are going against what their dr advices or whats good for the band, than they obviously are wanting our help and you should voice your thoughts on the matter if it can help them correct it. If they didn't want ALL our opinions then they wouldn't post to EVERYONE. Thats how I see it, anyways. Don't let a few bad apples taint the whole basket.

[Lapbandster 496]

You are seeing something I honestly don't see alot of on here.

Me either!

[B-52 7,113]

First. I agree with you 100%. There are a lot of people here that are not committed as much as they should be, and look for excuses to break the rules, or at least some consoling. If I think someone is complaining about how they are "failing" and see it is something that is really wrong with their attitude, I for one feel like I should tell it like it is.

HOWEVER!!!

You also have to understand, there are people here who are newbies, just starting out,.....and then there are people here, like myself, who have progressed from the early, primary stages of having the lap band surgery, and see things totally different than the way a newbie does.

I will tell people how it was for me, when I have gone through those early days when I went through it. And will tell them that I did get through it. But those days no longer apply to me or my lifestyle as it is for me today.

For someone who has completed the "training" as it were, there are different rules.!

And most times, people get mixed signals listening to people who are in different parts of their journey.

Newbies for instance, are constantly counting calories, measuring portions, etc. In other words they are dieting and should not break those rules. These are lessons they need to learn and become second nature later down the road.

For instance, for me, I no longer count calories and don't worry that much about portion sizes. I no longer diet, but have a whole new normal day to day lifestyle.

if I did not come here to these boards, I would forget I was banded most of the time.

I hear newbies say how this is a struggle. It is NOT a struggle for me at all! But it was early on because it was all about me and what I need to do and not the band.

Now I have to be careful as to what I say, and to whom. Right now, there are people reading this thinking I'm out of my mind. They don't understand, nor do I expect them to.

But I sincerely hope someday they will.

So do I break the rules? I'm sorry, but I don't even have those rules anymore!! And all those little lessons I had to learn, are now second nature, a necessity.

[ducker2010 17]

I totally understand a bad day and slipping. We all have them. We all have to get up and start new. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about twice, in the last three days, I've seen posts from people PLANNING to do things that were not good. And, as an RN, I cautioned them about it. They just laughed it off and said I'm going to do whatever I want anyway. I guess I don't get that attitude.

[ducker2010 17]

B-52. I have read several of your posts. They are encouraging and clear. They are NOT confusing. You give good advice.

[kll724 3,055]

Hi, I agree that folks get mixed mesages on here. I would never tell anyone NOT to follow their own surgeon's orders. A lot of surgeon's have very different schedules than other ones. Mine, for instance, is conservative and wants me to have 2 days Clear Liquids, and 2 days full liquids after a fill. Most folks thinks thats crap! My surgeon has had the surgery, and so has most of his staff. I trust him, and I have with my life! If folks don't trust their surgeons that is scary, to me, as they have their life in the sugreon's hands. But, as B-52 says, we did not get here because we are good at following rules and making good choices. I wish everyone the best and ask them to check with their own surgeon's office before just following someone on here, willnilly! Good luck to all, Karen

[B-52 7,113]

BEFORE I was even banded they started telling me I have to do the following:

Chew properly, small bites - pencil eraser size, put fork down between bites an swallows, use small utensils, use a timer to time between bites, don't drink while or after eating, etc, etc, etc.

At that time, these rules made no sense! I could follow or ignore them with no consequences, at that time.

But they are lessons everyone MUST learn, for there will come a time, that it will be the only way you can live with the band and be successful, or you can keep your band unfilled and do your on thing.

It's that simple....follow and learn the rules, or don't.

But please don't complain that the band is not working.

[elcee 3,340]

There is a problem with some people in that they do seem to encourage others to blatantly disregard instructions because they did it and they are fine(or so they think). They really annoy me too. I like to try to point out why the rule is there and the reason a person should be following it.

You cannot stop these people posting you can only try to show others that what they are suggesting is wrong and what the right way should be. Above all a person should trust and listen to their Dr and if for some reason they disagree with their Dr's instructions then they should discuss it with the Dr.

But I believe that you are probably quite close to the truth when you compare all these posts to the posts that say Help I'm not losing................

[ducker2010 17]

BEFORE I was even banded they started telling me I have to do the following:

Chew properly, small bites - pencil eraser size, put fork down between bites an swallows, use small utensils, use a timer to time between bites, don't drink while or after eating, etc, etc, etc.

At that time, these rules made no sense! I could follow or ignore them with no consequences, at that time.

But they are lessons everyone MUST learn, for there will come a time, that it will be the only way you can live with the band and be successful, or you can keep your band unfilled and do your on thing.

It's that simple....follow and learn the rules, or don't.

But please don't complain that the band is not working.

This is what I am talking about. I am relatively new and I was given the exact same instructions. At first I didn't have issues because I had no restriction. But a my restriction increases I'm learning just how important this is.

I have a friend who wanted to do bypass. She lied about her heart condition. (Among other things.) I told her not to do it. She got a surgery date all scheduled. Then they did the EKG and they found it and canceled her surgery. She doesn't know if she'll be able to have it.

Last night in a chat room I was talking to someone in the same position. They planned on lying to the doctor. I guess I just don't get this.

And I really really really do understand bad days. But saying you're not going to follow the rules is a whole different ball game.

[B-52 7,113]

This is what I am talking about. I am relatively new and I was given the exact same instructions. At first I didn't have issues because I had no restriction. But a my restriction increases I'm learning just how important this is.

I have a friend who wanted to do bypass. She lied about her heart condition. (Among other things.) I told her not to do it. She got a surgery date all scheduled. Then they did the EKG and they found it and canceled her surgery. She doesn't know if she'll be able to have it.

Last night in a chat room I was talking to someone in the same position. They planned on lying to the doctor. I guess I just don't get this.

And I really really really do understand bad days. But saying you're not going to follow the rules is a whole different ball game.

A while back I was questioning some peoples motivation to get this surgery.

It has become so popular and common, that I believe it is attracting people who see it as merely a cosmetic fix it thing.

That's ok I guess.

But in my case, it was entirely a health issue, literally a "do or die" and this is your "last resort"

I had very little choice but to make this a success story.

I read many posts from people who complain about giving up certain foods, or if they can't eat they want to that will be where they draw the line.

If they told me I would have to eat bread and Water, and promised I would satisfied and not hungry, I would have said "Where do I get in line"