Lapband Complete Failure

[Lapbandster 496]

To the OP:

Sounds like your wife is not being much help and that really must suck. I really feel for you, but my suggestion: Get an ipod, download some music that you love and then start running on the treadmill (or working out) and just try to visualize how great it would be to be thin, and how proud you will feel to report back on the forums that you have lost the weight. Think about how handsome you will look and how much confidence you will have. Keep thinking these thoughts and then you will see how motivated you get. Be visual because if you picture yourself as a thin/healthy person you will have the desire to lose weight and once you start losing weight you'll gain confidence. When you are confident you'll have more self control and those tantalizing sweets won't tempt you like they once did. The summer is coming and that will be good becuase you can get a bike and cycle around the 'hood. Make yourself a goal and when you reach it reward yourself BIG TIME!

Good luck dude

[adorkbl 156]

First off... I am sorry you are in a bad place right now. You sound depressed. You sound resigned. You sound like you have given up.

I was there too. I gave up. I had complications sure, but I let them be my excuse for failure. My failure was learning to eat around the band. Drinking with meals. Consuming ungodly amounts of ice cream. Not chewing well enough. Eating slider foods.

I kept my head in the sand and blamed the band for my problems.

I recently was diagnosed with severe esophagitis and a hiatal hernia. I was all ready to throw in the towel and have my band removed. REMOVED.

Then I sat and really thought about it. Was I doing everything I could to be successful? Hell no I wasn't. I was doing all those things listed above. Fact is, when I was committed and motivated, I lost 100. When I gave in to old addictions, I gained 50 back.

So I am recommitted. Again. That is why I am back on LBT. Support helps. Reading tips about being successful helps. Looking up recipes. Trying new exercises. All of that helps.

Find what works for you!

My husband is an enabler. Ice cream is my addiction, and he will buy it for me whenever I ask. He will always be an enabler. Just as I will always be addicted to ice cream.

I finally realized that I have to change. I can't expect him to change. I can't expect my band to change me. I have to change.

When I eat the proper foods the band works. I stay full. I can only eat small amounts. When I cheat the band, I cheat myself.

I don't know what will help you get back on track. I was banded 4 years ago and I feel like I am finally really truly back on track. Everyday I have to be mindful. I have to plan my meals and be firm. I sat down and had talks with my husband about needing support not sabotage. But honestly if I asked him to pick me up Ben & Jerry's.... he would. IT IS ON ME TO CHANGE.

I need not to ask him to get it. I need not to put the ice cream in my mouth.

You need to really evaluate why you are eating a pizza over a 4 hour period. Is it hunger? Or are you still using food as an emotional crutch? Be honest with yourself.

Could your wife be more supportive. Yes. But you have no control over that. It is sooo hard when the temptations are in your house. I am sorry you have that extra obstical. But JUMP OVER IT. You control you.

You are not alone. Hang in there. You can still do this.

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

[debbie_7155 0]

First off... I am sorry you are in a bad place right now. You sound depressed. You sound resigned. You sound like you have given up.

I was there too. I gave up. I had complications sure, but I let them be my excuse for failure. My failure was learning to eat around the band. Drinking with meals. Consuming ungodly amounts of ice cream. Not chewing well enough. Eating slider foods.

I kept my head in the sand and blamed the band for my problems.

I recently was diagnosed with severe esophagitis and a hiatal hernia. I was all ready to throw in the towel and have my band removed. REMOVED.

Then I sat and really thought about it. Was I doing everything I could to be successful? Hell no I wasn't. I was doing all those things listed above. Fact is, when I was committed and motivated, I lost 100. When I gave in to old addictions, I gained 50 back.

So I am recommitted. Again. That is why I am back on LBT. Support helps. Reading tips about being successful helps. Looking up recipes. Trying new exercises. All of that helps.

Find what works for you!

My husband is an enabler. Ice cream is my addiction, and he will buy it for me whenever I ask. He will always be an enabler. Just as I will always be addicted to ice cream.

I finally realized that I have to change. I can't expect him to change. I can't expect my band to change me. I have to change.

When I eat the proper foods the band works. I stay full. I can only eat small amounts. When I cheat the band, I cheat myself.

I don't know what will help you get back on track. I was banded 4 years ago and I feel like I am finally really truly back on track. Everyday I have to be mindful. I have to plan my meals and be firm. I sat down and had talks with my husband about needing support not sabotage. But honestly if I asked him to pick me up Ben & Jerry's.... he would. IT IS ON ME TO CHANGE.

I need not to ask him to get it. I need not to put the ice cream in my mouth.

You need to really evaluate why you are eating a pizza over a 4 hour period. Is it hunger? Or are you still using food as an emotional crutch? Be honest with yourself.

Could your wife be more supportive. Yes. But you have no control over that. It is sooo hard when the temptations are in your house. I am sorry you have that extra obstical. But JUMP OVER IT. You control you.

You are not alone. Hang in there. You can still do this.

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

I totally relate to this story .. I find i can eat 1 sausage & thats all i can manage, I blamed the band, but it wasnt the bands fault, It was there waiting to be used again & i ignored it & its my fault i have put the weight back on

sometimes we just need to re-educate ourselves again

good luck to all again

[dhoff 4]

I want to genuinely thank everybody who has responded............I am happy to report that the mere act of my taking the time to write my story and share it with all of you has begun sparking a bit of a change in me, I am feeling a little more hopeful again, feeling like maybe I can still make it work, I have even been eating better since my first post, it seems to have been a bit cathartic.....I also recently went to a 12 step AA meeting (although I am not an alcoholic) and found it very powerful too.......I simply substituted the word food everywhere they used the word alcohol......

In fairness to all here I think I owe it to admit that I just found out my un-supportive wife was doing things far worse than simply not caring about what foods I ate..............I don't care to go into details but any adult ought to understand what I am saying.....

I must have been aware of this at some subconscious level and that caused my food addiction or compulsions to be extra hard to manage...................

I plan to go ahead and get the study done to make sure the band has not slipped, and I am going to give it my all once again....

For those considering the band I just want to say that my experience shows that the lapband is not magic, it can and does fail if you are not ready for it.....Weight loss is an an all encompassing process of changing many things in your life...............The band will reduce your hunger and you will feel full quicker...............but if you are using food as a drug to make you feel better (as I was) you CAN and WILL find ways to defeat it........

The work is not over once the band is on, frankly it has only just begun...........all it does is gives you a little boost, head-start or helping hand in the process, but it does not run the race for you.........

I think I will spend more time on this forum, I can see that the support, tips, tricks and experiences of others can be truly valuable in helping us succeed.........

Thanks again, I'll keep you all posted, I need to go weigh in quick tonight before I start losing weight without knowing it!

[Marine mom 3]

I am so sorry for the relationship issues. That said, I'm glad you found some positive in the 12 step mtg. I have found them to be a blessing. Take care.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

if you put your mind to this...... YOU CAN DO IT.... Use what's happening with your wife as fuel to get yourself motivated. Get out and get moving.....

12 step programs are great. Good luck and keep us posted.

[LynnM 2]

I find it hard to find motivation when I am unhappy. Perhaps you can focus on feeling happier' date=' do things you enjoy, see people you like, get a new hobby, go out and have a laugh, get some excitement in your life. Maybe then you'll be more optimistic and motivated?[/quote']

This is great advice. I am trying to do this. I had the band 4 yrs ago. Lost over 109lbs. Went through divorce after 20 yrs , my mom passed away 2 yrs ago and then my 17 yr old daughter suddenly up and hates me and decides she is moving in with her dad. Well I went back to my old eating habits, gained 40 plus lbs back. I love sweets. Sweets I can eat with no problem. Stopped exercising and have just been depressed. But a couple a weeks ago I remembered this site from when I had my surgery in 08. So i have been reading post from fellow bandsters I feel very encouraged and am trying to get motivated. I haven't been back to the Dr. In 3 yrs. I am hoping to get an appointment to see if my band has slipped or do I need a fill. Because I'm hungry all the time and have some acid reflux.

Lynn Philippians 4:13 <><

[Helmut 9]

Tough luck on the relationship. Dude you nailed it calling food a drug. It certainly can be just that. Let's face it if all we ate was chicken fish and plain veggies we would not get addicted. Fact is that many manufactures today load food up with so many feel good chemicals just to keep us buying it. Sugar being the big kahuna of them.

For many sugar is nothing more than legal cocain. Good luck bud

[Cazzy 725]

Good luck indeed and i really hope u find a good place to be in in the future.

[MandiMand 17]

First off... I am sorry you are in a bad place right now. You sound depressed. You sound resigned. You sound like you have given up.

I was there too. I gave up. I had complications sure, but I let them be my excuse for failure. My failure was learning to eat around the band. Drinking with meals. Consuming ungodly amounts of ice cream. Not chewing well enough. Eating slider foods.

I kept my head in the sand and blamed the band for my problems.

I recently was diagnosed with severe esophagitis and a hiatal hernia. I was all ready to throw in the towel and have my band removed. REMOVED.

Then I sat and really thought about it. Was I doing everything I could to be successful? Hell no I wasn't. I was doing all those things listed above. Fact is, when I was committed and motivated, I lost 100. When I gave in to old addictions, I gained 50 back.

So I am recommitted. Again. That is why I am back on LBT. Support helps. Reading tips about being successful helps. Looking up recipes. Trying new exercises. All of that helps.

Find what works for you!

My husband is an enabler. Ice cream is my addiction, and he will buy it for me whenever I ask. He will always be an enabler. Just as I will always be addicted to ice cream.

I finally realized that I have to change. I can't expect him to change. I can't expect my band to change me. I have to change.

When I eat the proper foods the band works. I stay full. I can only eat small amounts. When I cheat the band, I cheat myself.

I don't know what will help you get back on track. I was banded 4 years ago and I feel like I am finally really truly back on track. Everyday I have to be mindful. I have to plan my meals and be firm. I sat down and had talks with my husband about needing support not sabotage. But honestly if I asked him to pick me up Ben & Jerry's.... he would. IT IS ON ME TO CHANGE.

I need not to ask him to get it. I need not to put the ice cream in my mouth.

You need to really evaluate why you are eating a pizza over a 4 hour period. Is it hunger? Or are you still using food as an emotional crutch? Be honest with yourself.

Could your wife be more supportive. Yes. But you have no control over that. It is sooo hard when the temptations are in your house. I am sorry you have that extra obstical. But JUMP OVER IT. You control you.

You are not alone. Hang in there. You can still do this.

Sent from my iPhone using LapBandTalk

What a FANTASTIC post! Very motivational too. My husband is an enabler, and I know that he is, and I admittedly have taken advantage of that to eat some not so good for me foods. But your post reminded me that's not a good thing! I think I may have to print it out and put it at my desk at work (and some other places) to remind me that it's up to ME to make this work, not anyone else!

[andrea0121 28]

I have a bf who is an enabler too, except I'm not a sweets addict, I'm a salty and cheesy. adorkbl's post is definitely motivating!!

OP, glad to read you're taking steps in the right direction and keep us posted!

[adorkbl 156]

What a FANTASTIC post! Very motivational too. My husband is an enabler' date=' and I know that he is, and I admittedly have taken advantage of that to eat some not so good for me foods. But your post reminded me that's not a good thing! I think I may have to print it out and put it at my desk at work (and some other places) to remind me that it's up to ME to make this work, not anyone else! [/quote']

Thank you. I am glad you found it helpful. I have been working hard the last two weeks and have lost 3 pounds. I was hoping for more but will not let my brain derail me. Slow and steady.

My husband has been more supportive and we have not eaten fast food in over 2 weeks!! That is huge for us. We were eating Taco Bell 3-4 times a week!! Last night we had salmon and asparagus and it was wonderful.

Support helps! Whether it is from a spouse or online. Whenever I start feeling doubtful or low, I log onto here.

We can do this!!

[Miss_A 11]

Hope things are getting better for you.

[bigenuff 302]

I have read that some people continue the same diet after LB but my do tor said I still should stick to good lean Proteins and vegetables stop eating pizza and other breast carby things and get the band tightened.:-/

[bigenuff 302]

Also I have a 9 yr old and 3 yr old in the house when I started my liquid diet 2 weeks ago we filled up on sugar free Jello and popsicles they love it they think it's extra treats .