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I Didn't Want Anyone To Know!!!



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This just happened Monday...so I haven't felt likediscussing this with him yet....I know he didn't mean to upset me....but for some reason I'm really mad at him.

Waitingpatiently I would KILL my husband! He and I have discussed my wanting it to be private as well, but he would do something like that, too. He'd probably act like he didn't know any better. I'm sure you feel somewhat like how I felt last night--like the option to tell people was taken away from you. It was only yesterday, but I feel like I have covered a lot of emotions in that time. On one hand, I was devasted that a lot of people I specifically didn't want to know. On the other, I was kinda warming up to the idea of the support I could get from my friends if they knew. If I were you, I would focus on the latter. Now you may find support from those you hadn't expected to tell. IDK, I was just struggling with this this morning and came to you all for support, so clearly I'm not an authority!

1shauna1, I am definitely trying to focus my attention in the direction you are speaking! I am refocusing and am planning on telling more people than I planned to originally. Still wouldn't have told the gal in question were I given a choice, but that that's OK! Thanks for getting me through this stressful experience everyone!

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If she works for the dr she cannt tell anyone it is a pt confidentiality she isn't allowed to tell anyone. This doesn't mean she won't but she could loose her job and license if that is the case. It is very serious.

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If she tells anyone you can sue the practice. ;)

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I was banded this feb and to this day only my mom knows. People can tell I'm losing weight, but they also see the better food choices I'm making and that I talk about going to the gym. Part of me feels silly for keeping this secret, but I too am a very private person. You'll know when you're ready to share. Good luck in this journey! My prayers are with you!

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I know for me I am very proud to say I've had the LB done and have taken control of my life!! You shouldn't be ashamed and if you are I'd think your not ready for the band.

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I didn't tell most people about my surgery until a couple days after, only if it came up. I still have friends that have no idea I have it done, and a lot of my family doesn't know either. My immediate family knows and my boyfriends family knows but that's about it. I didn't even tell.them until 2 days before surgery....for the same reasons you didn't want to tell anyone - I didn't want to hear peoples judgemental remarks like "why don't you do it the 'natural' way" or "surgery is so extreme, don't do it"

I was set in my ways and didn't want to hear anything different from anyone else. Best of luck to you.

-Melissa M.

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Just because she doesn't want people to know doesn't mean she isn't ready for the surgery.

When I first started the process, I felt the exact same way. I was ashamed and embarrassed because I felt like I had failed at weight loss. My husband had just finished losing over 100 pounds through diet and exercise and I felt like an utter and complete failure. Even though, I knew if I wanted to be healthy. When I admitted that WLS could help me with this, I broke down and cried. I needed to do something drastic and with my husband's complete support I went to the meeting.

Now, 8 months later and 10 days post-op, EVERYBODY knows, lol! Not only that, I have not run into anyone who has made me feel bad or ashamed about it!

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Just because she doesn't want people to know doesn't mean she isn't ready for the surgery.

When I first started the process, I felt the exact same way. I was ashamed and embarrassed because I felt like I had failed at weight loss. My husband had just finished losing over 100 pounds through diet and exercise and I felt like an utter and complete failure. Even though, I knew if I wanted to be healthy. When I admitted that WLS could help me with this, I broke down and cried. I needed to do something drastic and with my husband's complete support I went to the meeting.

Now, 8 months later and 10 days post-op, EVERYBODY knows, lol! Not only that, I have not run into anyone who has made me feel bad or ashamed about it!

You are amazing! And your husband is amazing to have lost 100 lbs without surgery, but he is in back of you and pushing you forward with your wls ans now toward your new good health. Best wishes to you both!!!Karen

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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