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Need some major support as nobody in my life will understand.
I was banded in 2006 and everything went smooth -- lost 120 lbs and went down to 140. Life was AMAZING, I had an amazing social life and I even worked as a promotional model for Heineken for several years (OH, the irony...)
Around 2009ish, I started getting TERRIBLE acid reflux which progressed into frequent vomiting and eventually severe chest/abdominal pain. This progressed into bad complications - at some points, I couldn't even keep my own saliva down and I was vomiting several times per day. I visited my doctor and discovered that my lap band was essentially strangling my stomach and had my band unfilled. Even after the unfill, I still had terrible attacks of pain -- I would get a warning pain in my right jaw, then almost immediately afterwards would have a pain so bad in my chest that it would cause me to double over.
After this experience I was TERRIFIED of the band -- I regretted ever getting it, I wanted it OUT of my body, and I became seriously depressed and had bad anxiety, mainly because I was (still am) uninsured and no doctor would do the full level of tests I needed to pinpoint the problem.
Because I had gone from full-on starvation mode (barely being able to keep down liquids), I gained weight IMMEDIATELY. One thing led to another, my depression got worse from the weight gain, and I'm now back up to 230lbs. I'm frustrated with myself and I want my old life back -- I'm 28 years old and while I have a great job, I rarely go out anymore and I'm hesitant to date because of my weight gain. I really just want to feel "normal" again.... I'm terrified that I'm wasting what should be the best years of my life.
That being said, I'm ready to tackle the lap band again -- I plan on calling my doctor tomorrow to get filled again --- and I'm TERRIFIED of going through the pain and complications again.
Has anybody ever been through this??
I think I really just needed to vent this out to people who would understand... thank you for any support or encouragement you can share :-)