Support From You Signifigant Other?

[MummyMeagan 7]

I was wondering of others expierance with their husbands/signifigant others? Good, bad anything. Were there any that actions pre op were kind of out of the normal ? My husband had made a comment to me last night that he has never said before to me and it was negative towards my size. I was just wondering if anyone had expieranced this before. I was very hurt by the comment but then started to wonder if this wasnt something with a under lieing issue.

[cfalbro 23]

I'm sorry to hear about your husband : ( That's not cool. My husband has been a rock for me. He wants to loose about 20 pounds, so he's been doing the same things as me and been successful in his own weight loss journey. I hope things turn around for you.

[MummyMeagan 7]

Thank you, I know he has gained alot of weight since we have been together he used to be Mr. fitness I was always big. I dont know if the anger behind it was that maybe he resents me because I am going through this and he knows I will be losing weight and he had gained weight since us being together and now needs to lose again. I guess maybe it would be a good idea to try to get him in on it too and involve him more and get on track together as a couple.

[Cazzy 725]

My other half has had to lose some weight too so he ate what i did just more of it, he dropped 80lbs while i dropped all mine he has been brilliant, but he was brilliant before the band so i knew i could rely on his help !

Maybe ask your husband why he said what he did, he might be feeling insecure that u are gonna lose all this weight and then leave him, or u are getting attention he isnt etc etc, if it was out of character then i would definitley speak to him about it, if not in my honest opinion the remarks will continue after surgery, they might not be about your weight but something else next time. Remarks are hurtful and unneccesary so try and sort it out now before u have the surgery and have to start concentrating on living with the band .. good luck

[xavier 153]

Seems like the best thing would be just to ask him what his feelings are and what he meant by the remark. To "try to get him on it too" may be perceived as criticism which since you didnt like it, he probably wont either. Just tell him he hurt your feelings and ask what is behind it.

[jollygreen1955 0]

Oh my!

I have been lapbanded a long time ago. My husband is so happy that he is not someone that I can rely on. He is great for everything but the band,

He brings in things, and I throw it out. You have to see my freezer, I give away the things that I can and the rest goes down the drain.

I have learnt my lesson and for me we do not repeat eat at the same table. Now,, I am on a low carb so when I have to be with him I suck salad.

He can take my good healthy shakes and it has been updated for him by him and it probably is thousands of calories.

I have to stop writing since this is a sensitive point for me.

My way is seperate eating and when out with friends, do not sit next to him

[MummyMeagan 7]

We were having a really stupid argument and we have had them before and he had never said anything like that before. It wasnt until reciently that he has known how important it was to me to get this surgery Iv been talking about it but once I had found out aht I had alot of health issues that were related to my weight did I really get seirous and start moving forward on the process. I dont know if he really wanted to hurt me or if he didnt think before he said it. This morning he woke me up before he left for work and told me he was very sorry and would never say something like that again and that he thinks I am sexy no matter what size I am. I will just beware and if it happens again weather its a comment of my weight or something else I wont stick around in a enviroment thats unhealthy for me and my children.

[Jerseygirl82 18]

_{i think when we start on this journey and tell those around us that we are doing this, they think it is an open invitation to criticize us. they may not be trying to harm us but in there head they may be thinking "well if she is having WLS then obviously she knows she fat, therefore I can comment on it as well" I'm not saying that that is right or even the correct thing in your case but I have definitely seen that in other situations. Good luck to you.}

[dhales 98]

Mine keeps saying "jokingly" that when I get skinny that I will leave. It know it is an insecure response and that the truth is often said in Jest. So every time he says that I tell him that I am the same person regardless of my size and on my feisty days I mention that I already get looks so if I wanted to leave I would have already... On a positive note...he has asked that I stock his lunch kit with healthier snacks....this journey is good for both of us.

[xavier 153]

We were having a really stupid argument and we have had them before and he had never said anything like that before. It wasnt until reciently that he has known how important it was to me to get this surgery Iv been talking about it but once I had found out aht I had alot of health issues that were related to my weight did I really get seirous and start moving forward on the process. I dont know if he really wanted to hurt me or if he didnt think before he said it. This morning he woke me up before he left for work and told me he was very sorry and would never say something like that again and that he thinks I am sexy no matter what size I am. I will just beware and if it happens again weather its a comment of my weight or something else I wont stick around in a enviroment thats unhealthy for me and my children.

Smart girl! Best of luck!

[JennyBee 340]

So funny... Mine tells me the same exact thing.. "your gonna leave us aren't you"..... He also says it jokingly, but it hurts my feelings a little that he would even think that!! I would never ever leave my beautiful 6 and 2 year olds...I just want them to have a skinny sexy mommy and j want my hubby to see that thin woman he fell in love with 13 years ago!!!!!

[MummyMeagan 7]

I had jokingly said that I am going to be one of those wives that does a reverse in my wedding photos instead of me being young and skinny in mine I would be young and chubby and then reverse over time and become skinny instead of like most who gein weight. I just have to think positive and not let this get me down. My aunt went through something like this but it was after her wls her husband and teenage son had starting making fun of her overweight self after she had lost her weight. It was something that hurt her very badly because she had learned the truth of what everyone was thinking. I guess in a way I would rather know the truth then to learn it later. I am glad for everyone mostly having supportive husbands. I showed him some of your before and after pictures and he was amazed that this isnt a joke this changes peoples life for the better.

[Jenn1214 120]

My fiance has always been supportive, but he never knew what it was like to really be in my shoes. He was never criticized by his parents for his weight and made to feel worthless like I was. He didn't understand why I cried when I looked at myself in pictures. He loves me no matter what I look like...he proposed to me when I was at my highest weight! He has celebrated my successes with the band and listened when I was having problems. Now he has a band himself, and what better support is there than that? Everyone jokes that when we get married no one is even going to recognize us

[MummyMeagan 7]

Awe thats so sweet, who knows someday my husband may end up having one him self. Since we have had two children together he gained weight right along with me ! He used to be very buff and in shape. I was always large. That is awesome and congrats to the both of you ! Now you will both be happy and healthy!

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

Mine keeps saying "jokingly" that when I get skinny that I will leave. It know it is an insecure response and that the truth is often said in Jest. So every time he says that I tell him that I am the same person regardless of my size and on my feisty days I mention that I already get looks so if I wanted to leave I would have already... On a positive note...he has asked that I stock his lunch kit with healthier Snacks....this journey is good for both of us.

Omg.... my husband has been telling me the same thing from the get go.... then when i get skinny i was going to find another man..... i told him if i wanted another man i could have had many already even at 223lbs. That normally shuts him up for a while. A while back he said... how much more weight are you going to lose.... I said, i don't know why. He said, cuz your starting to look like a bag of bones... INSERT KNIFE IN HEART...

Now that i had the tummy tuck... He's been hitting the gym even harder.

So this is my theory.... Now that we have lost or losing the fat.... they are pissed that they are not getting the attention anymore.... and for years they have counted on we as "fat" girls have self esteem problems and they know that we would not feel comfortable with other men.... but now that they see other men looking at us and complimenting us..... THEY ARE SCARED.... Scared that we will leave. The other night one of our "biker" guy friend told him...(i over heard) Damn Jim... Chris sure is look fine.... He turned white and his expression was one of fear... Of course he said, yes she is.... but that was all he said.