Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Ugh (Need A Little Support)



Recommended Posts

So this past Friday was my best friend's birthday (it's a trio of us, my friend the bday girl, and another friend of mine and me). She wanted to go to the local casino's night club for her birthday and her boyfriend paid for a room for her to stay there. I was all pumped up for it until that night and I don't know why or what happened, but I feel like I need to vent to you guys here because you're the only people who would understand.

When I got out of work I met my friend (non bday girl) at her office (we all work for the same organization three different departments and three different offices lol) we were going to go to her house and get ready and then head out to the casino. We were running so far behind, we had to go to the mall so my friend could get a dress for the club, then we had to get something to eat. We had to wait in this LONG line in the food court because it's lent and she can't eat meat. So we finally get shrimp from the hibachi and she's like chowing it down in 3 minutes (mind you she knows I had the sx, her aunt had it too, so she knows I can't eat fast) so I literally had three shrimp and had the throw the rest out.

We get back to her house by the time we leave for the casino it's like 9:30 pm, we didn't get up there until 10:30 or so, and we had to get ready in the room. That's when it started with me, I don't know if it was from the lack of food or the fact that I was the only one there who wasn't young, skinny and gorgeous, or the fact that my bf couldn't go bc he had to work and everyone had their bfs or husbands with them, but I put on my dress, put on my make up and jewlery and I just thought to myself "I look like s*&%" and you got to understand my friends are GORGEOUS just beautiful women inside and out and so are their husbands/bfs whatever. I'm not putting any blame on them, because they could tell something was wrong and they are like "you look great, you're fine" but I couldn't put that in my head.

We head down to the club and the deal is free cover until 11pm. So we have our IDs checked then head over to get our wrist bands. Well my two friends get in free, and I get up to the register and the girl goes "10 dollars" for what? She's like "it's 11pm" my watch said 10:58 so I just paid and shut up I knew it was because of how I looked but I didn't care, until we get into the club and swear on my life I was the only "obese" person there. It totally sucked it was like model h$*& where do these people come from? And trust me this isn't Vegas or Monte Carlo this is Connecticut not anything fancy trust me!

So then a tiff happened between the couples, and the birthday girl left me and my other friend went with her. The boys I guess went back to the room to drink. Once we left that club I felt SO much better! IDK maybe because I felt like I was discrimanated against because of my weight which to be honest I never thought happened to me or I put blinders on idk.

The bday girl found another bar for us to go to and the atmosphere was so much better! The guys at the door got a table for us because of my friend's birthday we got a comp bottle of champagne and the patrons were so friendly and down to earth. It's crazy how a change of venue can make a person feel. We talked to some guys and they bought us all drinks. I literally had three drinks the whole night and woke up the next morning with the WORSE hangover! What is with that? We ended up staying the night at the casino.

So my question is: why did I feel the way I did? Is this normal? What should I do the next time? Why was I so hungover (this one is a joke lol) I just don't know why this happened and it sucks because it's my friend's birthday and I didn't want to screw things up but I def didn't.

Sorry about rambling I had to get this off my chest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well you got hungover because you hardly ate anything and probably was dehydrated too, not having much in your system will make the alcohol affect you even more than normal, so never never drink on an empty stomach or a nearly empty one :)

As for feeling like you did i totally understand why u felt like it, even with the weight i have lost i still feel big and awkward, this is not how i used to be when i was younger but i feel it 10 times more now.. I can put on clothes even now and i hate myself, not because i am fat because im not really anymore but because i dont see what other see, i still see the person who looked huge felt huge and felt like i dont belong, so you dont hear compliments u dont see what others see and it puts u on edge, it can make u paranoid. Getting ready in a hurry doesnt help, or round someones place instead of your own home all im sure added up to u feeling what i would term as stressed. You werent in the frame of mind to enjoy yourself and you didnt ..what u need to do to avoid feeling that way again is to plan things better, take some food to work to eat before u leave so u arent reliant on fast food, make sure u try on what u want to wear the night before u go out, plan acessories to give u a feeling like the whole package. Think of how some famous people who are heavy look and deal with the 'glamour' side of life..

Just plan things a little better and im sure u wont have an evening like it again :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your input. It's so weird but when I go out with my bf or friends for drinks or whatever, I don't have a problem. I think it was just the whole club aspect of it and also at 31 I'm a little too old to be shaking my @$$ at a club anyway ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have an image in your mind of what you look like and it is hard to get that image out of your head. I look in the mirror now and there are still times when I think I am way too fat and start getting down on myself. Even though those around me complement me on how I look and I now get attention that I didn't when I was heavier, I had 20 years of putting myself down and seeing myself in a negative way. Even though logically I know what I look like the psychological part of me tends to take over. As for alcohol, stay away if possible, you will now be able to eat only a fraction of what you did before and alcohol wil hit you harder. Good luck and try to do positve things for yourself to build your self esteem. Remember this is a journey not a miracle.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×