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Really Struggling To Stay Focused, Had Lap Band Surgery 10 Weeks Ago



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I have been banded about 10 weeks now. I lost 60 pounds before the band, and another 36 since banding. I am having a really hard time staying on course lately. I have stopped exercising, cheating more frequently. I don't know what to blame it on. It has been hard on me emotionally. My relationships have suffered. I just need to get back in the swing of things. I just want to sit on the couch all day and hide from the world. Tonight I ate alot of french fries and half a chocolate shake. It really wasnt even all that good, and my stomach is hurting now. I am still struggling with finding a replacement to eating when I get stressed out. Any words of encouragement is greatly appreciated.

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Krytallynn13 it's ok. I think we all go through those days. My nutritionist told me that I will have cheat days and days I just don't want to exercise and it's ok. As long as we don't make a pattern of these days we should be ok. When I absolutely refuse to deny myself something I want...I just don't eat much of it. Yesterday I had two onion rings which weren't that great but it was the psychological idea that I couldn't have them that drew me to want them more! I find myself listening to music more and more when I get stressed out. Anything to get me over the hump!

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When I get stressed I go to the gym or shopping or even to a movie. Anything that gets me out of the house and away from the fridge!

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i havent been banded yet(dec 13th) but is there anyway you could do a non food related project to keep your mind off of food? knitting, paint by numbers, puzzles, needlepoint, scrapbooking, sewing, yoga, etc......

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Try to snap out of it. The scale moving should be all the motivation you need.

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Thank you everyone for your input. I try to start everyday as a new beginning. I am feeling really focused right now, but it is only 850am and plenty of time left in the day to go south! I am getting alot of attention because of my weight loss and am feeling a little bit like a fraud. I feel like I have to defend myself and my weight loss. It is just such a struggle. I wish I would have chosen something else besides food to be addicted to.

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Why would you feel like a fraud? We are not cheating just because we have a tool. Is someone cheating because they have a treadmill instead of walking outside. If anything else, we have it much harder than normal dieters. If we gorge ourselves on food, we will get sick, have horrible chest pains, acid reflux, and possible vomiting. We must give up foods like bread and Pasta that we once were addicted to. As much as I love subway and even though it is low in fat, I still haven't been able to eat it since the surgery because of the bread. We have to plan meals, go in the liquid stage on fill days, and give up all our carbonated beverages. We have to work just as hard as anyone else and i will not and you should never feel like a fraud! Good luck getting back on the horse, you are worth it!

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Everybody has done that...get a fill to reign it in a bit! I cant eat more than 5 fries at a time!

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Do you think you could be depressed? You sound like you may be. Sometimes when a person is depressed they cope by eating. Now that you can't "really" eat away the stress, you may be confronting the reasons why you over ate in the first place. Perhaps you should look into therapy. It really helped (helps) me. Good luck!

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Why not list all the things that have improved about the large amount of weight you have lost? Surely your clothes are a smaller size, you can move somewhat better, etc.....You have done a great thing! I just hope I am as successful as you have been! Also a little citalopram can really help. Ask your doctor.

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I am currently in therapy and am on two different anti-depressants. ;) This has been such an uphill battle for me. My relationships with the people I love have definitely suffered. It is hard to adjust to not having food as a crutch anymore. It is hard to have to feel and deal with uncomfortable feelings without food. I just had a fill 2 weeks ago and not due to go back until January 6th. I just keep putting one foot in the front of the other on my way to the finish line.

About the fraud feeling...let me tell you about a conversation I had with a co-worker yesterday. She told me she was going to lose 50 pounds before her trip to Ireland. I told her I was gonna lose the rest of my weight by May and go to the Bike Rally in Myrtle Beach and wear some Daisy Dukes. (just joking). Her response to me was..well you can loose the weight the easy way. You don't have to try hard...REALLY??? This person is my friend and the only one I associate with at work. She really hurt my feelings. I tried to educate her on how this was not the easy way out, but I don't think I changed her mind any. Oh well...we live and we learn.

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I hate the fact that people think this is so easy. They really have some nerve, This is no way the easy way out. I mean most of us cant even eat bread because it gets stuck...then there is the whole stuck issue in itself...Not fun and not easy

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I am currently in therapy and am on two different anti-depressants. wink.png This has been such an uphill battle for me. My relationships with the people I love have definitely suffered. It is hard to adjust to not having food as a crutch anymore. It is hard to have to feel and deal with uncomfortable feelings without food. I just had a fill 2 weeks ago and not due to go back until January 6th. I just keep putting one foot in the front of the other on my way to the finish line.

About the fraud feeling...let me tell you about a conversation I had with a co-worker yesterday. She told me she was going to lose 50 pounds before her trip to Ireland. I told her I was gonna lose the rest of my weight by May and go to the Bike Rally in Myrtle Beach and wear some Daisy Dukes. (just joking). Her response to me was..well you can loose the weight the easy way. You don't have to try hard...REALLY??? This person is my friend and the only one I associate with at work. She really hurt my feelings. I tried to educate her on how this was not the easy way out, but I don't think I changed her mind any. Oh well...we live and we learn.

Instead of trying to change her mind about the band (who cares what lurks in HER mind?) I wish you had just said, "that hurt my feelings"

That would be a statement of fact and in that case it is inarguable...stay away from people who do that!

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Xavier that is what I should have said. Unfortunately my self esteem is still tanked and not able to confront people in this manner. Im working on it though.thumbsup.gif

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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