Hello Everyone,

I am in my 4th month of the required 6 month PCP visit. I've done the psych evaluation and start my surgeons program this December. My husband recently started changing things, such as wanting to get rid of some of his hobbies, things he's collected for so long. He bought a guitar and today he was talking about getting a motorcycle. This is not the person I married. He has been distant, not really wanting to do much, and when confronted he said "I'm changing because your going to leave me when you lose all the weight." I have tried and tried to explain to him all the pros this decision will be for the BOTH of us (we talked extensively before my decision and he was 100% supportive). Nothing is working. He is utterly terrified that when i lose the weight I will hunt down another man and leave him. I have never, and he agrees, given him a sliver of a worry that I would ever leave him or want to for that matter. I'm doing this to better my life, not change who I am. I understand how he feels because we both know people that left their spouse's after a significant weight loss, but both instances was because there was no support, motivation, or understanding on either part. We have all these....I even brought up marriage counseling for the both of us but he's in such a funk he really is zoned out.

Does anyone have any similar instances with your spouse after/before/during being banded and could give me some advice? I'm really at a loss, and I HAVE to keep going forward with this. But should my marriage be on thin ice for it?

Your story has me thinking more now then ever. I hope things work out for you n your husband. I do worry sometimes if this surgery will change who I am as a person if I will turn out to be a mean girl after its all done. I know that I would not ever leave my husband because we have been married almost 10 years. But I still worry if my attuide might change after surgery. He might not like the new me even if I'm not mean I'm sure my cofondence will go up afterward's n he might not be able to deal with that. I'm so worried but I know that this is the best and right step for my life right now.