This Is A Wake Up Call!

[PhotoNut 7]

Butch - You made me cry because you are so right. You touched the core of my fear my friend.

*big hugs*

[Chickie 15]

Despite (obviously) the massive amount of humor I put into my comment (I rarely claim to speak like Gollum when serious) I do actually have one thing I'd like to take to task here.

That's a extremely broad and sweeping statement. It's also likely incorrect.

I don't intend to allow myself 'treats' because allowing myself 'treats' got me where I am today.

From my mother allowing me to buy 3 pieces of candy on a Saturday, to McDonald's for supper.

The bottom line is, I've had to accept taste has nothing to do with nutrition. I am deliberately eating foods I have always 'not liked' because they are good for me, and I have a responsibility to eat right.

The 'treat' is pandering to my mind, and my mind apparantly has no frickin clue what my body needs.

So, in a year or two, if I am at my goal weight, and I continue to not allow myself treats, I shall expect you to retract this.

And I'll remind ya

What you consider funny, is not the same as what I consider funny. Clearly.

You imply that I am a bad person for giving a teacher, who will do the right thing with bloody Cookies, to give to the childern. I do not find that funny.

You imply that that is the cause for overweight and obese children. It is not. The reason for childhood obesity is poor diet, and no exercise. It is that simple.

If you are concerned about kids being fat, go help out with a PE class or two a week. Help teachers with cooking classes. Its what I do every week, mate. Do not preach at me about fat kids.

And I will retract NOTHING. Good on you if you can deny yourself to goal weight. Good for you.

[Penni60 45]

SIGH!! Can't we all just get along and agree to disagree?

[Penni60 45]

Butch - You made me cry because you are so right. You touched the core of my fear my friend.

*big hugs*

DITTO!! Well said Butch

[PhotoNut 7]

Sam.. Paul is not implying that you are harming your kids. Nothing of the sort. When he did the gollum thing he was joking around about my joke about grandma trying to kill us. And he is saying that FOR HIM he can't allow himself treats because for HIM it's much like the addict or the smoker who is trying to quit cold turkey. Having a little now and then is not an option.

Please try to see that this was not meant as an attack on you. You are not taking it in the spirit in which it was written. Text can be misinterpreted so easily. Please give the benifit of the doubt here?

Sincerly, Susan

[Chickie 15]

SIGH!! Can't we all just get along and agree to disagree?

It would be nice, huh?

But people need to undertand that what is funny to you might not be funny to me. It that such a hard concept to get? *sigh* I think I will just give up....

[FuelMan 2]

I am with Penni60, can't we just get along????? everyone here is just doing our best and trying to understand. Don't take thing so personal. Let's just be nice to each other. Play nice with the other children.

Butch

[dawg 0]

SIGH!! Can't we all just get along and agree to disagree?

Sure we can, this is simply an exchange of opinions.

I've got nothing against Sam in any way, I don't doubt that harm was ever intended in any way.

I just reflect on my own obesity and my own habits and I can see a direct correlation between treats, and weight gain.

Adding some humor is what I try and do - and it can be misinterpreted (and clearly has been).

Sammee - If I caused you upset, I apologise. My thoughts on bad food is entirely personal. I fear sugar, I have fears for my grandchild that he lives in a society that sees a massive consumption of 'hidden' and obvious sugars. It scares me.

If my humor is inappropriate, I apologise. I sincerely thought when the note was posted about 'trying to kill..." I thought you were lending humor to it as well. I was merely playing along (in my mind).

I HAVE to do my diet without treats. I have no band. I have no physical restraint. I have only me.

So, I hope you will trully support my belief that it can be done without treats, because if not, I am doomed to be fat for the rest of my life.

[Penni60 45]

It would be nice, huh?

But people need to undertand that what is funny to you might not be funny to me. It that such a hard concept to get? *sigh* I think I will just give up....

You just demonstrated my point of agreeing to disagree. You did not see it as funny someone else did. Agree to disagree on that point. It was truly not meant to hurt your feelings Sammee.

[MeganA 35]

Photonut...You are asking very good questions. Some are hard to answer. When I first got banded, I made great choices all the time. I changed everything about my life. I only ate organic fruits, veggies, and meats. I felt better than I have ever before.

I'm now two and a half years out...and old habits creep back in slowly over time. And there are many reasons why people eat and over eat. For me, it's almost an obsession to finish what I am eating. I usually save "the best bite" for last. Sometimes I forget that I have the band and do something stupid like order Pasta. The band has become a PART of my life, not the whole focus of it. And once that happens, it's easy to loose momentum about good choices, etc.

You're very new to banding and It's folks like you that keep me motivated and on the right track. What I have learned is that it's not about NEVER eating pizza, bread, treats, chocolate, cake, etc....it's about not eating it as much. It's about balance and planning.

But mostly, it's about forgiveness. Forgive yourself for getting to where you are, and forgive yourself when you don't make the best choices. Promise to make a better one next time. That's all we can do. And if you stuff a whole pizza into your band...the next call you make is to your Doctor to get a fill. And then forgive yourself for eating a pizza. The band is forgiving. You'll do better when you have more fill and the demons are controlled better.

No big deal.

Megan

[dawg 0]

I am going to add one more to clarify my viewpoint.

Consider me the alcoholic. One drink might get me off the wagon and get me into my coffin.

I can't risk that drink.

[PhotoNut 7]

Photonut...You are asking very good questions. Some are hard to answer. When I first got banded, I made great choices all the time. I changed everything about my life. I only ate organic fruits, veggies, and meats. I felt better than I have ever before.

I'm now two and a half years out...and old habits creep back in slowly over time.

You're very new to banding and It's folks like you that keep me motivated and on the right track. What I have learned is that it's not about NEVER eating pizza, bread, treats, chocolate, cake, etc....it's about not eating it as much. It's about balance and planning.

But mostly, it's about forgiveness. Forgive yourself for getting to where you are, and forgive yourself when you don't make the best choices. Promise to make a better one next time. That's all we can do. And if you stuff a whole pizza into your band...the next call you make is to your Doctor to get a fill. And then forgive yourself for eating a pizza. The band is forgiving. You'll do better when you have more fill and the demons are controlled better.

No big deal.

Megan

I am new to banding but, like many of us, I am not new to dieting and I know exactly what you mean about the old habits creeping back in. You're right, the band is the focus of my life now and I pray it stays up there in the top three most important things I focus on in life. Because if I slip again, where will I be? I will be 50 this year. Half of my life has passed with me feeling like crap and being embarassed of myself. Missing out on so many things because of this weight. I don't want to do that anymore. I want a shot at being free of this before it's too late.

I don't forgive myself for being overweight. I made my choices and I knew the consequences as I made them. Now I want to make other choices because to me it is a big deal. It is my life. I won't be forgiving and easy on myself if I slip up. I don't have time to pamper myself along anymore.

Perhaps my problem here is that I was expecting the same attitude from others who have chosen WLS.

Thanks for your comments Megan, you helped me see that perhaps I'm seeing things thru the eyes of a newbie that has been a bit niave.

[DevilMayKare 1]

But mostly, it's about forgiveness. Forgive yourself for getting to where you are, and forgive yourself when you don't make the best choices. Promise to make a better one next time. That's all we can do. And if you stuff a whole pizza into your band...the next call you make is to your Doctor to get a fill. And then forgive yourself for eating a pizza. The band is forgiving. You'll do better when you have more fill and the demons are controlled better.

Thanks for that Megan. I think that's really important.

I was a pretty perfect bandster for the first few months--but sooner or later the demons do tend to win out. Too often stuffing my face becomes a full-out COMPULSION and it isn't until I'm choking over the sink that I can stop. Is that totally foolish and stupid and do I KNOW IT?? Oh yeah.

Maybe you won't do that, but if you had to get this surgery there's a pretty good chance you will. And when you do... forgive yourself and move on.

Fat or thin, we've got to love ourselves.

[fee 0]

PHOTONUT

and as for the people that eat pizza and cheeseburgers or woteva it was, this could have been a once off of this food, so why start up a thread to have a go at ppl that are suffering emotionally..

it took all our life to gain this weight on and it will take awhile to get out of these bad eating habits and get into better ones..

not everyones a perfect bandster!!!!!

and your only a month out.....lets see when you feel like some pizza or mcdonalds

i say give u a few weeks

[Jachut 487]

I totally agree with you, and I have approached this in exactly that way, and have had good success without much in the way of restriction so far. I've pretty much dieted. The first few weeks were really easy because I did have restriction but since week 5 I've been able to eat anything and my appetite has returned to normal. It's not rocket science, eat what I used to eat and I will return to my previous weight. I'm holding on now, cant manage to keep the intake low enough to keep the weight coming off at that rate without more fill.

What I tell myself though is when I find myself frustrated at people's choices, I just thank my lucky stars that I got banded before I got to the point where I was not capable of making good choices and holding on for restriction to finally hit. There are people here all along the spectrum of disordered eating and where I know that I simply dont eat pizza or ice cream or chocolate there are other people who just dont have that strength yet. It's going to take them a bit longer to get there.

It does come down to basic maths, energy in versus energy out but there's an awful lot of emotion and dysfunction clouding the path. It's not that easy for everyone just to throw out the old and bring in new habits.

But you've said it very well and the tough love thing I'm sure is appreciated.