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Not Doing Very Well With My Food and Feeling Very Alone : - (



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Hi,

I just got back from a support group at the local hospital. Come to find out, this Hospital doesn NOT do lapbands so everyone at the meeting were bypass people.

I have had two really bad episodes in 5 days with food and I have only been banded for three weeks. My body knows I shouldn't eat this stuff and my brain stays it is ok. I want to stop praying before the "porceline" goddess"..... MY TOILET!

I left the meeting feeling really alone and crying all the way home. I know this is stupid, but they didn't treat me very well at this support meeting.

Thanks for being there ..:faint:

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Don't worry, welcome to BandLand Boot Camp. The learning process is difficult at first. I still can't believe that I can't eat bread. Even now, being unfilled. I am always tempted to take that one tiny bite that I know is a one way ticket to the pb express. It's hard, and it sucks.. but you gotta do it. Learn what works for you.. for me apples and grapes are my main staples anymore. I love them. But it used to be ice cream and butterfingers.

As far as the meeting.. don't even let those people affect your mood. They just being indifferent because the are all "rewired" and "dumping" and bitter :)

You made the right choice, don't doubt that.. just be patient and listen to your body, you'll do great!!

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Thanks Angie!

It is funny, I was on your thread earlier giving you hugs and now you are there to support me...... I guess that is how it works:clap2:

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:) Hey DOC, I am new and am familiar with the strange and unusual diets bandsters are subjected to both before and after surgery. I am there right now. I was banded in Mexico too. It was an affordable choice for me. One advantage that US bandsters have is that most are subjected to a "psych" eval prior to getting a surgery date. This evaluation determines if you will be able to cope with the band and if you have eating disorders that may prove incompatible with banding.

Reading your post it struck me that your brain is lying to you. If it continues to make you hurt yourself, you will lose your band.

I mean, sure, most if not all of us had an eating disorder prior to banding. Whether it was emotional eating, or food addiction. We chose banding for personal reasons. I chose banding because I did not trust my brain to make my food choices for me. I now trust the band, my surgeon, and the couple peices of paper he gave me.

With luck I will become an experienced bandster and will be able to make good choices myself.

If you are having difficulties that are causing you to damage yourself, please contact someone to help you. Your local doc, your surgeon, or counselling center. Go online and find BANDSTER groups in your area.

Please, we care :angel:

Brenda

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Hugs, Doc.

We have to find you a local Bandster meeting. The ByPass folks have entirely different issues...

Try to keep your chin up!

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It's not stupid at all. I'm in the same boat and struggle with food obsession and compulsion daily. Even though I've lost a good chunk, nights scare the heck out of me. My husband doesn't help because he wants me on the couch watching TV with him while he eats goodies all night. He is very jealous of my computer because he misses me all day, then I sit alone on the computer to avoid food.

Don't feel stupid ~ we are all in this together.

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((hugs)) Well we have one thing that support group doesn't have...... a 24/7 open support group!! ((hugs))

I hope your feeling better really soon.Just stay focused & follow the rules it will all come together:0)

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hiya doc i know we are not with you in the physical sense but are thoughts and best wishes are maybe one of our bandsters are living fairly near for you to phone here's a hug for you

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Thanks everyone...

I respect the ones who have gone before me and so appreciate their words of wisdom..... It is amazing how just the hugs and encourangement that you guys sent made me feel better :bananapowerslide:

It is a new day and I plan to move a muscle and change an thought.... I hope I was not putting down the bypass people, they do have their own issues and I don't understand theirs anymore then they understand ours.

T H A N K S :)

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Hang in there Doc! This is the best support group a person can have. We are all struggling but we are all in this together.

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((( HUGS!! ))) Doc!! Let us know how the time tracking goes, if you do it. The wisdom you're gaining now will help others soon! :)

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you might find that there is no local group, but that LBT is a wonderful support group.

We have so much differnt needs than RNY folks, and folks tend to get a little defensive over their choice of WLS.

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My dr's support group is also mostly RNY and Vertical Gastrectomy people. They look at me like I'm an alien. Sometimes another banded lady goes, but not always. She lost like 120 lbs and you think that would be enough for those vultures, but it's not.

I just don't get the whole "us vs them" mentality in WLS. We all started out needing help!! Who cares what route as long as we are all working hard to take better care of ourselves!?!?!? Makes me tired.

Doc, I've gotten most of my support and my pats on the back here at LBT. We love you. We're your family!! Welcome home!!!!

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:crazy: now now. Don't be getting down because of what RYN'ers have to say. That is like being upset that your cat isn't learning anything in puppy training class. You don't need a support group like that anyway. Not only will you not share in their experience, but they can't share in yours, and neither is of help to each other. LBT is a good support group. Lord knows, we are all together in this and there for each other come thick or thin. :target:

I really think you should find a bandster that is local that you can talk with. Check here on the board, or call a local lap band clinic and see if they have a board to post a 3x5 card asking for a local sister. Someone you can meet for coffee with and get a hug from will help greatly!!

Hugs to you, and I hope this weekend finds you happier!!

Amy

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I am more worried about the fact you say you are only 3 weeks post-op, and PBing all the time. At 3 weeks I was on mushies only. The chances of hurting your band are great at this time, because you are still healing.. And true, the by-pass people would not know this, to help you. Hope you find a group near, until then this site is one of the best...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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