So I went to see Dr Nutcase (the psychologist) yesterday for the first time.

We went over past experiences, childhood, past relationships, etc. We talked about my anxiety and self esteem issues, as well as weight loss and lack of coping mechanism. She gave me a book on tape about this, called When food is Love. I started listening to it this morning on the way into the office. The author was an abused child and thankfully, I can't identify with this, but as for the food issues and dependency on people in my life/attention seeking, I can definitley relate.

We talked about my insecurities regarding my relationship and my jealousy. I explained that I don't want to be a jealous person and that my husband has never given me any reason to not trust him .. quite the opposite. She said sometimes, jealousy stems from intuition. That caught me off guard a bit. I was expecting her to dismiss my fears - instead, she wanted me to investigate them. After thinking about it throughout the afternoon yesterday, I now think I understand what she meant. I need to explore the reason behind my feelings - whether it be reality, past experiences (ex husband cheated on me, dad cheated on mom, etc), self esteem issues, being alone (that's when I usually have these feelings), etc.

I have homework this week, in the form of writing a 6 page autobiography about emotional pressure points throughout my life. She said to sit down with some wine and just let it flow. LOL .. when I drink wine, tears tend to flow, so this should be interesting.

She's encouraged me to get back to meditation - something I've enjoyed in the past, that helps me identify negative or "tearing" thoughts for what they are. I picked up my old Happy For No Good Reason (excellent book if you'd like to learn to meditate) book last night and started reading it again to refresh myself with how to meditate lol. She's also encouraged me to get out and make friends. Easier said than done however, as I tend to get nauseous in those social situations. We'll work on that though.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you guys know how it went. I go back next week. I've just gotten to the office, from the gym (yayy me), so I best get to work now lol.

That sounds great! I really need to get myself in to talk to someone like that. And here I sit not doing it, lol.

It sounds like you are on your way, and I hope that this person helps you lots!

Good for you Jess! Sounds like you're on the right track!

It takes a wonderful strength of character to admit when it's time to get help. You sound like you got a lot from this first visit. Good on ya!

I'm also a very jealous person and going through a bit of a thing right now with the guy I'm seeing, so your info about what your therapist said on jealousy really helps.

I also think my green eyed monster stems a lot from my own personal insecurity about myself....if I had better self confidence this would be less of an issue. And self confidence is something that MY therapist and I are working on.

cheers!