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Married ladies, did your dh go to your PS consult with you?



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Hi, I totally understand what you are asking. I am dealing with the same situation. I have 5 consultations coming up and I told my husband he can go with me but I prefer he stays in the waiting room. He has been very supportive from day one and I have a past experience with sexual abuse so he understands why I prefer he stays in the waiting room. I told him after the surgery and all the swelling is over I will show him a before picture lol. I know this sounds strange..but it works for us.

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OK, I'm stupid but what exactly does DH stand for?

Anyway I would never even consider doing anything like that to my body without my husband there. He is my biggest fan and advocate and he is smart. Of course I would set ground rules first because he carries on about the stupidest things sometimes and we would have discussed what I wanted done way ahead of time. But it is a personal choice and I hope all goes well for you.

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I agree I think when it is surgery DH should know about it and be there to support you. Maybe ask a question that is important to him. Its surgery!!! When i scheduled my LapBand surgery my DH was coming and then we found he could not get off of work so I went anyway. I had already built it up in my mind. So my mom took me and brought me home and he took care of me at home. He has seen your body so just relax and let him go.

Cheri

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I had 5 surgeries in less than 2 years. 2 shoulders, Gall Bladder, Lap Band, and Breast reduction with a lift. My husband went to all appt. with me, held my hand throught it all. Changed my babdages, fed me, made sure I always had everything I needed, most of all loved me through it all. it has been a year since my last surgery. He still sleeps in the spare room and hasn't wanted to be intimate with me. he is still very loving and suporrtive, but I think he saw me as a patient and now has a hard time seeing me as a loving wife. I think the breast reduction sent him over the edge. It was brutal.

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I know I'm joining this topic late, and you may have already made your decision, but I had to chime in when you made the comment about your SIL's thighs. TOO FUNNY!! It proves my point though, which is this: you have a definite view of your body and your husband most likely has a definite DIFFERENT view of it. We all see ourselves and others differently. I went to all my consults alone. I never thought of bringing anyone with me actually! I would think they'd just be bored. Then again, my husband and I are pretty independent like that. He was there for me in every way after my TT and breast lift, but I didn't feel the need to have him in the consults. He offered to come with me when I had the surgery and I had a friend take me because I'd rather him use his time off from work after the surgery to take care of me...not to sit in the waiting room for hours!! I will add though...I had Lipo to my thighs a few months ago and he took me on the day of the surgery (it was a quick in and out procedure). He was sitting in the exam room when the surgeon came in to mark me up. It was very uncomfortable for me to be standing STARK naked in front of another man while my husband sat a few feet away. He said it was akward for him too, even though we both, obviously, were well aware that he is a doctor and is supposed to see me naked...it was weird. Best of luck with your decision, and your surgery. I'm so happy with my decision to go through with it I hope you will be too!

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I know I'm joining this topic late, and you may have already made your decision, but I had to chime in when you made the comment about your SIL's thighs. TOO FUNNY!! It proves my point though, which is this: you have a definite view of your body and your husband most likely has a definite DIFFERENT view of it. We all see ourselves and others differently. I went to all my consults alone. I never thought of bringing anyone with me actually! I would think they'd just be bored. Then again, my husband and I are pretty independent like that. He was there for me in every way after my TT and breast lift, but I didn't feel the need to have him in the consults. He offered to come with me when I had the surgery and I had a friend take me because I'd rather him use his time off from work after the surgery to take care of me...not to sit in the waiting room for hours!! I will add though...I had Lipo to my thighs a few months ago and he took me on the day of the surgery (it was a quick in and out procedure). He was sitting in the exam room when the surgeon came in to mark me up. It was very uncomfortable for me to be standing STARK naked in front of another man while my husband sat a few feet away. He said it was akward for him too, even though we both, obviously, were well aware that he is a doctor and is supposed to see me naked...it was weird. Best of luck with your decision, and your surgery. I'm so happy with my decision to go through with it I hope you will be too!

I too went to my consultations by myself. I would not have objected to my husband coming with but it did not make sense for him to take time off of work for a consultation. He saved his time off and took 4 days with me after my TT. It's funny, your post said you were uncomfortable standing naked being marked up in front of your husband. I was ok with that but DH later told me it was kind of weird watching me naked with another man, on his knees, drawing lines on me. DH took great care of me - he is the best. In fact he is encourageing me to have my arms done too.

Best of luck.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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