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Husband hurt my feelings....

zeniada

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zeniada    9

zeniada
Posted

If it is that easy to offend you then there is no help for you

Did you ever stop to think that his comment was not an insult but a (clumsy) caring statement that he is concerned about you going backwards after such a great effort to get where you are now?

Sometimes women astound me with their interpretations of us men's statements and comments

And after he expressed his concern - what did you do? You kicked him out of the bedroom and relegated him to a place of no importance in his own home

Dont expect to get any support from him for a long time girl. You are own your own - like it or lump it.

thanks for your comment.... HOWEVER you dont know my realationship with my husband thus can not assume to understand HOW his comment affected me...

As far as making him sleep out of the bed room I AM THE ONE who left.....I AM THE ONE who chooses to sleep somewhere else....

And as far as support from him I NEVER GOT IT TO BEGIN WITH so I DONT expect it.....

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Rsilversea    2

Rsilversea
Posted

Reminds me of a comment my dad made to my mom once while she was making carrot pudding for Christmas. "Why don't you just slap that suet on your hips. That's where it's going to go anyways." I didn't hang around to see the end result....

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CheckYes    46

CheckYes
Posted

I understand it upset you deeply. I just don't understand how you can be upset at his comment then post about how he needs to "get off his butt and lose 50 lbs." It's hypocritical to be angry that he made a comment about your weight and then turn around and make a comment about his. You may not have said it to his face, sure, but you've said it behind his back here. I don't know which is worse.

I wish you had more support from your husband. I suspect it might be a two way street based on this thread. Have you considered counseling to help address and discuss your needs from him? Some people never get back what they put into a relationship - you may never get what you need from him but, if you have kids, counseling is worth a try.

I wish you the best.

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Jenn1214    120

Jenn1214
Posted

Men don't realize that more often it's the WAY they say things, rather than WHAT they say, that is the most hurtful. That may have been his own stupid way of showing concern for your health, or he might just actually be that stupid. I don't know your husband so only you can answer that question. Hopefully he realizes how much he hurt you and he will learn to support you in the future. If his lack of support and hurtful words continue, you may want to consider counseling if he won't talk to you about why he is behaving this way. Good luck and keep up the good work!

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Beachbunny    5

Beachbunny
Posted

If it is that easy to offend you then there is no help for you

Did you ever stop to think that his comment was not an insult but a (clumsy) caring statement that he is concerned about you going backwards after such a great effort to get where you are now?

Sometimes women astound me with their interpretations of us men's statements and comments

And after he expressed his concern - what did you do? You kicked him out of the bedroom and relegated him to a place of no importance in his own home

Dont expect to get any support from him for a long time girl. You are own your own - like it or lump it.

For the likes of your post i take it you are DIVORCED?

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Go To Topic Listing POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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      1. This update has no replies.

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