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Rudeness in the other forums



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I thought this place was supposed to be helpful to bandsters new or old but instead when someone asks a question you get smart-assed answers. If you don't have a real genuine answer, don't post your crap. Thanks. :-)

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I thought this place was supposed to be helpful to bandsters new or old but instead when someone asks a question you get smart-assed answers. If you don't have a real genuine answer, don't post your crap. Thanks. :-)

I don't know which thread you're referring to, but my experience has been that most people here are pretty considerate. There are a few people around who seem to wear a Know-It-All hat, and who can be intolerant, so maybe you came across one of them. I'd say consider the source, and move on. There are lots of folks here who are sincerely interested in helping, and plenty of historic information. I'm still amazed at the sheer amount of information on this site.

Dave

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I'm glad there are many considerate people on this site but it rubs me the wrong way when someone acts like that. But, there's always a few jerks among a group!

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I'm glad there are many considerate people on this site but it rubs me the wrong way when someone acts like that. But, there's always a few jerks among a group!

Agreed! I think it's very often due to the anonymous nature of forums like this. People can be whatever they want to be, and some act out because they feel they "can." Awhile back someone posted a comment that really made me think: How do you know the person who is posting problem posts isn't really a 12 year old boy who is playing tricks by masquerading as a 40 year old mother of three? Got me to thinking - you never really know who's on the other end of the computer screen. :o

Dave

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you really don't know who's on the other end of the computer screen... i'm pretty sure Dave is Homer Simpson... posing as Dave_NW. :P

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you really don't know who's on the other end of the computer screen... i'm pretty sure Dave is Homer Simpson... posing as Dave_NW. :P

D'oh! Busted!!! :)

Dave

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I think that most of the time people try to be helpful but a lot depends on the way the original post in the thread is written.

For example.

If you read a post that says I have been following my Dr's directions, exercising etc etc and the scale is not moving then the answers are likely to be sympathetic and helpful.

If the post says I'm not following my Dr's directions because I can't and I'm still eating junk on a daily basis because I don't like healthy foods and I don't want to exercise and I'm not losing weight and I don't understand why and I hate this band because it was supposed to be a miracle cure that did all the work with no effort on my part then the answers are not likely to be sympathetic and helpful.

We all have the same issues so if we can do it we expect others to be able to do it too. To borrow a quote " Lapband talk members help those that help themselves".

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I think that most of the time people try to be helpful but a lot depends on the way the original post in the thread is written.

For example.

If you read a post that says I have been following my Dr's directions, exercising etc etc and the scale is not moving then the answers are likely to be sympathetic and helpful.

If the post says I'm not following my Dr's directions because I can't and I'm still eating junk on a daily basis because I don't like healthy foods and I don't want to exercise and I'm not losing weight and I don't understand why and I hate this band because it was supposed to be a miracle cure that did all the work with no effort on my part then the answers are not likely to be sympathetic and helpful.

We all have the same issues so if we can do it we expect others to be able to do it too. To borrow a quote " Lapband talk members help those that help themselves".

Yeah, I agree a lot with that distinction. There are a few people who'll still respond to the first kind of post with rudeness, but most responses to these posts are helpful or at least well-intended.

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I thought this place was supposed to be helpful to bandsters new or old but instead when someone asks a question you get smart-assed answers. If you don't have a real genuine answer, don't post your crap. Thanks. :-)

I can't remember too many insincere answers in this forum. There's pretty much one member who sticks out in my mind and who is known by many to give very rude, but probably genuine, responses to posts. Her "reputation" number and the treatment she gets from other members after her posts reflects this. Members have their disagreements and debates--I've had a few--but this forum is generally much more civil and supportive than most I've visited.

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The ignore list is also a nice feature here. If someone gets on your nerves, just put them on your ignore list and you never see what they post.

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The ignore list is also a nice feature here. If someone gets on your nerves, just put them on your ignore list and you never see what they post.

Ah, but then there's this nice feature called "Reply" and you can see whatever they say in the quotes. ;)

To the OP, I'm very sorry you encountered negativity. Like Dave said, some people use the anonymity to their advantage and becomes everyone else's disadvantage. Sometimes the best response is no response at all. When chatting with tens of thousands of other people, you have to learn to pick out the weeds and keep the roses, so to speak.

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i guess each of us have our own opinions

but there is a difference between rude and offering your opinion.

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i guess each of us have our own opinions

but there is a difference between rude and offering your opinion.

Or dealing with a troll

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I've noticed alot of rudeness and lecturing going on here lately. One would almost be afraid to ask for advice for fear of being told the same type of things we've been told our whole lifes. Your not trying hard enough type of comments. There is no need to publicly berate people that have come here for support. There is a way to tell someone to get there act together without being mean and rude.

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I've noticed alot of rudeness and lecturing going on here lately. One would almost be afraid to ask for advice for fear of being told the same type of things we've been told our whole lifes. Your not trying hard enough type of comments. There is no need to publicly berate people that have come here for support. There is a way to tell someone to get there act together without being mean and rude.

Ditto that!!!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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