Wife is getting attention and is not attracted to me anymore

[donaldlovindaddy 2]

Help me if you can! I love her so much, but she now wants to seek attention and possibly sex from other men. She wants to co parent. I have sleep apnea and have slept in basement for 4 years. Now I have cpap machine and dont snore. We have grown apart and I have negleted her sexually. Now that she has cut me off I am DESPARATE to have some physical contact. I would like sex, but a real kiss would mean so much more. I have been going to gym for about 45 days and have lost 20 lbs. I am 6' tall and weigh 250 now. I have given her freedom to seek this attention in the hopes that she will realize what we have. She says that she loves me. I do most household chores, work full time, have 2 boys. She also works full time. I know that she is getting attention because she is so beautiful. That is the person I married 11 years ago, and the weight surrounding her never bothered me. I have always loved her, and even if we don't make it through I will be her best friend. I am so proud of her weight loss and compliment her all the time. I have NEVER complained about numerous complete wardrobe changes. If nothing else will you say a prayer for us? I have given this over to Him, because I am not strong enough to handle this burden. I have been in the gym everyday for almost 2 months and I feel great about myself. I don't have a great self esteem tho. Any advice would be helpful. She wont go for counseling, I have begged her.

Thank you

[GavynsMum 1]

I will say a prayer for you as this broke my heart. You need to sit down and tell her everything you just wrote. I will have to say counseling is critical. If she wont talk to a counselor see if she will talk with your/a church leader/pastor/father.

It seems as though you are hinting of past troubles before the lap band and her weight loss so make sure not to put all the blame on her. Just remember there are two sides to every story.

Good luck.

[honk 780]

Is she seriously having sex with other people and then coming home to play house and "co parent"? Are these children a product of your marriage or yours alone? First, whether she is having "safe sex" or not I would'nt go near her she is opening herself up to all kinds of STD's. I don't consider my self a prude but if you're married you don't sleep with other people and you certainly don't exposure any parter to possible disease. If you are seriously doing lots of the house work and making her life easy who would'nt want that? It's like having a maid or a parent who does all the work and you get to have fun. Get therapy and decide whether this marriage is savable. And by savable I mean can your wife return to the marriage and get her fullfillment there. If not you need to do what's right for you and your children and get out.

[donaldlovindaddy 2]

I don't think she is having sex yet and made me promise to have safe sex if I decided to go outside our marriage. I totally blame myself for having neglected her and I miss her so much. I have told her all this but I think she still wants out. I am planning on going to a church counsellor myself right away. She has been away last night and today gambling ( yes I paid for that too) I know that I am making it too easy for her, but I have always spoiled her.

[cheryl2586 3,053]

Well I must say this you openly admit you have neglected her for over 4 years. Thats the way to go and now you want back in because she is beautiful and thin. You need more than prayer you need to realize that women are not meant to be treated any kind of way and then when she looks like she did when you married her 11 years ago you want it all back. I feel sorry for you and your actions. You probably have lost her for good unless she sees how selfish you were and decides your marriage is worth saving. A lesson to be learned a marriage is a union between two people out of love if you decided to break that then its your fault. Sorry for being harsh but men need to stop thinking they can act any kind of way and when the chips are down they feel sorry for themselves. My husband would never treat me that way.

[dfav3412 116]

First of all I can't believe this is real.

[weightogo 2]

First of all I can't believe this is real.

I don't bellieve for one minute the post is true. I have seen this on so many forums just lately. All for attention and entertainment at our expense.

And for the record if my husband neglected me and slept in the basement for 4 years I would fuck off too.

[GavynsMum 1]

And for the record if my husband neglected me and slept in the basement for 4 years I would fuck off too.

LMAO

[thu1976355 0]

I don't think she is having sex yet and made me promise to have safe sex if I decided to go outside our marriage. I totally blame myself for having neglected her and I miss her so much. I have told her all this but I think she still wants out. I am planning on going to a church counsellor myself right away. She has been away last night and today gambling ( yes I paid for that too) I know that I am making it too easy for her, but I have always spoiled her.

Sorry to hear all that.. But it sounds like she has an addictive personality ie the gambling.. etc... Maybe you should stop enabling her by doing everything around the house and raising the kids alone... Dont settle for coparenting and her having sex outside the marriage. Talk to her. If she wont, then sad enough, you may have to walk away to find yourself. May I suggest you read "Codependent no more. " Great book.

[MarcyLoo 12]

Please consider getting into counseling TOGETHER.