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Attracting women.



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It almost seems like a silly conversation but I have one friend in particular (a life long thin guy) who insist that obesity is not a factor for men when it comes to attracting women.

Although conventional thinking holds that "women don't care about looks" I rarely see over weight men (especially short ones) with attractive women - save for very wealthy men of course.

So, I would like to hear specifically from men who have lost significant weight (100lbs or so). Or, guys with waists 34" or less who have lost a good 10".

Do you now have an easier time attracting women? And please don't give me any nonsense about being more confident. 4 beers makes any man confident.

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I'm a woman and I think that looks matter. I am more shallow than any man I've ever come across and I'm fine with that. Men work that way and why can't I?

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Yeah, looks matte - for about ten minutes. What appeals to me though is not male model looks. I find quirky things attractive, so never assume you're not attractive to anyone at all.

The men I find most attractive are usually a little overweight, actually, I like a man who looks like he could give me a big bear hug. I'm tall and not really petite and I like big men. So weight is not generally a factor, although I'd have to say 400lb might not attract me.

Even height, I usually like tall men, but I can think of several men I know that I think are masculine and attractive that are shorter than me.

Strangly what I find the most UNattractive is men that look like they spend hours in the gym honing their bodies. I'm not into muscular physiques really. Brad Pitt is a sissy looking girlie boy, too pretty, too vain, too manufactured cheesy looking. Vince Vaughan is SEXY, yet he's not conventionally good looking and he's actually a little pudgy most of the time!

Also, that attraction thing is only what makes you look twice at someone. I would always be polite and open to anyone who spoke to me (barring obvious leering creepy types). Although I met DH at 16 and have never actually been on the market, I know that to me, its what's inside that counts, truly. I might not see fireworks at first, but I could get to find anyone attractive who genuinely had a nice personality that was compatible with mine. Looks really do not matter to me once I know someone.

Perhaps I'm weird, but the point is that everyone will have a different opinion. Its just a matter of meeting the right person for you.

Edited by Jachut

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Yes, some women maybe attracted to slightly chubby men, but most women are turned off sexually by overweight men.

Most likely, she will think that you are lazy, is not bothered with your own health and that you are more than likely proned to obesity related diseases. If that is her perception, how do you think your chances will be if pitted against a healthy looking male counterpart for her attention?

So if you want to attract women, the first thing to do is to start losing weight now.

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I'm with Jachut on this one. Men like Vince Vaughn , Jason Segal and Seth Rogan are very appealing. They have a goofy self confidence. But I too couldn't do a 400 lbs man, not appealing to me.

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Fat men are gross and they have small penises. Total turnoff.

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Fat men are gross and they have small penises. Total turnoff.

Is this experience talking? :puke:

***Sorry... couldn't resist...*** :)

Brad

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I've seen a fat man naked and it was disgusting but men in general with small penises are completely disgusting too. Don't get it twisted!

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I have been out with overweight men, even obese (by BMI standards) but not anyone who is very overweight. I do think looks matter and even when I was myself overweight I still looked for a man I found attractive to me personally.

The last person I was seeing was overweight and it didn't faze me in the least. The person I've only just started seeing is an ex-body builder and has the whole super buff, muscular thing going, and again it doesn't faze me, coz their personalities were important too. Unlike Jachut, I'm pretty petite. Someone who was very very overweight probably wouldn't get past the point with me where I'd consider them to begin with.

Just being honest.

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This seems like a topic everyone loves to weigh in on - no pun intended.

I am particularly interested in hearing from men who lost a great deal of weight and how this affects their ability to attract women.

I would expect that most women on this forum are more open minded when it comes to overweight men. And as for the penis thing; men do gain inches as they lose weight because there is a pad of fat there that takes up space. In fact, that might even be an interesting poll. Again, no pun intended.

Back to the point - I must admit that I am into looks. I like hot women with great bodies. And I feel that in order to expect them to be into me, I have to measure up. Now some guys (who just happen to be thin) tell me an extra 100lbs shouldn't matter and it's all attitude. I call BS on that theory.

Are there any GUYS here who can help settle the debate?

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Well my Darling Husband is both overweight and short. He is the cutest and most adorable guy in the world to me. He has also never had a problem attracting women (apparently :puke:) either.

So... there goes that theory! :)

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My husband is overweight and we can not go anywhere without women hitting on him. We went to a wedding last weekend and I went to get a glass of wine and looked back at the table and a woman was practically sitting in his lap (or trying to).

I am with your friends, its all attitude.

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I like big guys as well. Not short, obese guys but tall and a tad bit over weight. The Teddy Bear type. There's just something sexy about that.

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I like the Dwight Howard body type. Tall and Muscular is sexy.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

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