But she is in denial and how do you help someone who doesn't think they have a problem?

Hey everyone...I was hoping some of you could help me out.

I started noticing around the holidays that my SIL was looking kind of sick. She always looked like she just woke up and she was losing weight. She was already small framed and tiny so not everyone was noticing it. I saw her again a few weeks ago and when I gave her a hug I felt like I was hugging a skeleton. My sister called me up last night to inform me that she looks even worse now. They all went out on my parents boat yesterday and my sister said my SIL looks like she's dying and my brother tried talking to her and she got very mad so he dropped it. The thing is I don't think my brother realizes how serious this is so it's not because he doesn't care, he just doesn't know. They have a little girl together who is 4 and they have no health insurance so he's worried about medical bills, also. Which I know is ridiculous but that's a whole other issue that we have w/ him and right now we're worried about her. This is a couple who had a baby and got married too young. I really think she never had the chance to grow up. Neither did he. Their priorities are totally effed up.

Anyway, my sister said she has absolutely no fat on her. Her bones stick out everywhere and the bones above her butt stick out farther than her butt does, which is actually non-existent. She eats and eats and then excuses herself to go to the bathroom where you will hear constant toilet flushing. She has passed out twice now and refuses to talk about it. We are convinced she has the purging type anorexia because usually, as I've read all over, that severe weightloss or being underweight, is not a symtpom of bulimia. All the signs and symptoms are there. She's eating really unusual amounts of food and then shortly after she excuses herself to go to the bathroom. She flushes the toilet numerous times while she's in there.

My sister and I want to stage an intervention and get her some help and I'm about to start some major research on this but I was wondering if there was anyone here who had any experience with this themselves as far as helping themselves or someone else beat this. Are there any organizations out there that offer their services for free or w/ any assistance in paying for treatment? I want to make sure that when we do an intervention that she has somewhere to go right afterwards if she decides she wants help. I don't want to give her a chance to change her mind if she agrees to go and get help. We're so worried about her. We're afraid she's going to die and from what my sister says she looks like, she isn't too far from death's door. It's scary and even scarier that my brother has no idea of the severity of the situation. My mom tried to talk to him about it the other day and he said "I just got off of work. I'm tired and I don't want to talk about it." and he left.

Any advice you can give on the intervention and the treatment options would be greatly appreciated. Any criticism on my brother and his lack of understanding on the whole thing is a waste of time because believe me, we all feel the same way about it. Right now we're all concerned with helping her.

Thanks in advance for any advice you may have to offer.

I hope this all makes sense. I wrote it really quickly...

I have had no experience with this but I believe that so long as they are both in denial, and she doesn't want help, then nothing is going to happen. She needs to face herself and admit that she needs help before she can get better. Good luck.