Many of you have seen my success story or follow my blog. I'm in my 4th year of banded living and have been maintaining a normal, healthy weight for about 2 1/2 years now - that is something I had almost given up on. I spend a lot of time paying it forward now. When I meet someone who is either exploring surgery, preparing for surgery or newly banded, I usually ask what are your goals in terms of health, weight loss and quality of life?

I recently blogged about my own goals and thought it was worth starting a thread here.

Back in 2006, if you’d ask my husband, the decision to have LAP-BAND® surgery was all about my health. If you asked me, and IF I was really honest, my health was at the top of my list, but how I felt about myself, my quality of life was a close second. So, what were my goals in terms of health, weight and quality of life?

In terms of health: I was experiencing fatigue. Walking up a single flight of stairs left me short of breath; I’d recently had a stress fracture on my foot, I had back, hip and knee pain, so severe that at times I missed work, and regularly took pain relievers and muscle relaxers. My goal was to improve my cardiovascular health, minimize the damage to my muscular-skeletal system, and avoid diabetes and heart disease. My father died at 65 of heart disease. I wanted to live a long, healthy life.

In terms of weight: I could be happy if I got to 173, and maintained that. I wanted to go lower, but I knew I felt good and good about myself at 173. I had a vivid image of myself in a blue pencil skirt and red angora sweater, yes I felt good about myself at 173, if only I could stay there… (I made it to 145, and am maintaining!!)

In terms of quality of life: I had a great life but obesity was “my cross to bear.” I wanted to gain confidence; I wanted to be comfortable living in my body. I wanted to know what it felt like to have a normal body. I wanted to hike and bike with my kids. I wanted my kids to be proud of me – I didn’t want them to be embarrassed by their fat mother. I wanted to feel strong and sexy. I wanted to have energy at the end of the day.

So, at the beginning of my journey I set my goals, and hoped and prayed that this time it would be different. And it was different (to learn more about my journey, please visit my blog at http://www.gloriasbandedliving.com )

So for those of you on this pre-op forum, what are your goals in terms of:

1) Health

2) Weight

3) Quality of Life

1. I'd like to see my cholesterol go down. I've also started noticing knee and ankle problems. I'd like those to go away. I want to be able to keep up with my now 2 year old. I have aunts that went through knee and hip surgery. Both are overweight. I had an uncle and a grandfather die from major heart attacks in their 50's. I just had a cousin die over Christmas. She was very overweight and so is sister so has diabetes. I really don't want any of that to happen to me.

2. I'd love to be 140 pounds but will be satisfied with 150-160.

3. I can remember when I was a healthy weight. I had a lot of confidence in myself then and would like it back. I wasn't afraid of having my picture taken then either.

Hi At Goal Gal,

I love reading stories like yours. That's why I'm here, as well as many, many others I'm sure. Thank you for sharing, and for continuing to encourage us Pre-Op people.

My goals are similar to yours. I want to be healthy. I want to be more active with my children and live to see their children grow up. Of course, the image aspect of it is compelling as well. I long for the day when I too can wear that pencil skirt, and make it look good! Also, it's the self confidence that I miss. I truly believe that with the help of Lap Band, I will be there again.

I do have a question that I'm not sure who to ask... but since you have been through this, I will ask you. I have two daughters, 12 and 14. They are loving, supportive girls and we are very close. The thing is... I'm not sure if I should tell them what I'm doing or not. I don't want to confuse them, in this time of their adolescence, but I also don't want to keep it from them. Do you have any advice on this?

Thanks for your support and your time. Have a wonderful evening!

Hi At Goal Gal,

I love reading stories like yours. That's why I'm here, as well as many, many others I'm sure. Thank you for sharing, and for continuing to encourage us Pre-Op people.

My goals are similar to yours. I want to be healthy. I want to be more active with my children and live to see their children grow up. Of course, the image aspect of it is compelling as well. I long for the day when I too can wear that pencil skirt, and make it look good! Also, it's the self confidence that I miss. I truly believe that with the help of LAP-BAND®, I will be there again.

I do have a question that I'm not sure who to ask... but since you have been through this, I will ask you. I have two daughters, 12 and 14. They are loving, supportive girls and we are very close. The thing is... I'm not sure if I should tell them what I'm doing or not. I don't want to confuse them, in this time of their adolescence, but I also don't want to keep it from them. Do you have any advice on this?

Thanks for your support and your time. Have a wonderful evening!

Dear TKmdhi,

Who to tell and who not to tell is a VERY personal decision. There is no right or wrong here. I was very in the closet about my surgery; only my husband and a few close friends knew for years.

My children were young when I was banded so I didn't explain it to them,although they knew I had an operation on "my tummy". My advice is to think hard about this, stare at the pros and cons. If there is anyone who knows you and your girls well who you can talk to about this, talk it through. If I had teenage girls, I'm pretty sure I would have told them, but that's me, and I need to be very open at home. If you do choose to tell them, you may want to help them get educated and become part of the process. It can help alleviate some of their fears.

Deciding who to tell, who not to tell, and the impact of YOUR surgery on loved ones are areas I also cover pretty extensively on my blog - check out the video interviews for those topics. Let me know what you decide. I'm happy to help.