So, here I am, a year and a half after my surgery. I feel I have done extremely well. 140+ pounds lost, the last six months without restriction, since I can't afford a fill at this time. But have still been steadily losing until now. I exercise and feel off if I don't make it to the gym. But here is the problem. And it comes at a time when with no restriction, my old compulsive habits are creeping back, now that I know what foods can go right through me.

I recently got some results of some labs, not pertaining to my band, that have suggested that there is a possibility that I am going to be facing a bout with cancer. I have to wait at least two weeks for my next tests regarding this, and then another two weeks or so for those labs to come back. My head is reeling, I am scared, and trying to make all kinds of plans in case the worst results come back. I am not ready to scare my family about this possibility.

Part of my problem is that I have no insurance. When I started this journey I weighed 315 pounds, having been heavier than that, I just don't know how high I got since I had stopped weighing myself years before. I was uninsurable at 315, and part of the reason I wanted to get control of my compulsive eating was to get to a weight that would be insurable. Facing this possible diagnosis, I started looking into insurance so that the bills of a fight with cancer would not be something I would have to excessively worry about. Come to find out, at least in California, having had adjustable gastric band surgery, I have rendered myself a "high risk" and uninsurable for that reason. Still, I am happy I was banded. I am healthier than I have ever been, and so I am in the shape to take on cancer.

Back to the head reeling. Unrestricted, I notice my compulsive overeating feelings, habits, and thoughts creeping back in. I can't afford therapy. Any books anyone knows that can help me here? Anything. I need some help. This may be beyond the scope of anyone's comfort, but I would really appreciate anything anyone can give.

Sorry to hear about your problems and the scare of cancer. Must be terrible.Your weighloss is something to be so proud of. It shows that you are a strong person. My brother just die a month ago from an overdose of vicodin

For the first week I would not even let the thought in my head to return to my best friend, my comfort . . . food. But in the past 2 weeks I have longed for the comfort that I think only food can do for me. I have let myself break some rules. But we both know after the food goes past our lips it is longer comfort but guilt that results.

Someone told me of a book called “Feeding the hungry heart” about emotional eating. You can buy it on Amazon for $10 new or less for used. I am going to order me a copy. Maybe it would be a good book for you too.

As far as counseling goes someplaces offer free or reduced price counseling. I did 2½ years of counceling with a Christian Counselor about 5 years ago and still return when I feel it is needed. I just started 2 weeks ago again because I do not relate to death as normal people do. Can't find a counselor find a friend that has time to listen to your worries and thoughts. Or write them down anything to get those feeling out once they are written or spoken they are not that scary anymore

I do believe in prayer though and maybe you do to. I will be praying that God will be with you on this journey you are taking and that He will wrap His protection and love around us and comfort us in everyway. That He will remind us and show us we are never alone. I will pray that He will heal your body from any form of cancer. That you will be worry free as you rest in the knowledge that He is taking care of you.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. my e-mail address is crodriguez17@comcast.net if you need to talk

Edited February 1, 201016 yr by 123crod

WOW.. I hope everything is ok with the cancer scare. Keep us posted. I dont have insurance either but please dont get me started on that subject. But here is what I do know. You have lost restriction and if you didnt have to fight a physical hunger you wouldnt have the lap band in the first place. It is not your fault that you are hungry. Can you call your Dr and explain the situation, ask for a fill and see if you can pay it out?

Sorry to hear about your problems and the scare of cancer. Must be terrible.Your weighloss is something to be so proud of. It shows that you are a strong person. My brother just die a month ago from an overdose of vicodin

For the first week I would not even let the thought in my head to return to my best friend, my comfort . . . food. But in the past 2 weeks I have longed for the comfort that I think only food can do for me. I have let myself break some rules. But we both know after the food goes past our lips it is longer comfort but guilt that results.

Someone told me of a book called “Feeding the hungry heart” about emotional eating. You can buy it on Amazon for $10 new or less for used. I am going to order me a copy. Maybe it would be a good book for you too.

As far as counseling goes someplaces offer free or reduced price counseling. I did 2½ years of counceling with a Christian Counselor about 5 years ago and still return when I feel it is needed. I just started 2 weeks ago again because I do not relate to death as normal people do. Can't find a counselor find a friend that has time to listen to your worries and thoughts. Or write them down anything to get those feeling out once they are written or spoken they are not that scary anymore

I do believe in prayer though and maybe you do to. I will be praying that God will be with you on this journey you are taking and that He will wrap His protection and love around us and comfort us in everyway. That He will remind us and show us we are never alone. I will pray that He will heal your body from any form of cancer. That you will be worry free as you rest in the knowledge that He is taking care of you.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. my e-mail address is crodriguez17@comcast.net if you need to talk

Thanks for the book idea... I will definitely look into it! I do thank you for the prayers as well. I am not a prayer, but am always thankful for those who are extending theirs to me. Thank you for your kind words and extending your email address to me as well. I am just trying to keep a positive attitude about all of this, since I won't really know any lab results for about a month (that's how fast things go when one has no insurance!)

WOW.. I hope everything is ok with the cancer scare. Keep us posted. I dont have insurance either but please dont get me started on that subject. But here is what I do know. You have lost restriction and if you didnt have to fight a physical hunger you wouldnt have the LAP-BAND® in the first place. It is not your fault that you are hungry. Can you call your Dr and explain the situation, ask for a fill and see if you can pay it out?

I was self pay... my dad was kind enough to lend me the money for the surgery. The only way I could get him to agree was to go to the local university, since he holds them in high regard, medically. They unfortunately don't take payments. I thought about it this morning, and I figure I can squeeze the $250 out of my bank account for the fill this month, since I so desperately need it.

Thanks for your kind words. I will do my best to keep you posted on the outcome... a month or so for lab results (you know how these things go slowly if one has no insurance!)

Thanks for the book idea... I will definitely look into it! I do thank you for the prayers as well. I am not a prayer, but am always thankful for those who are extending theirs to me. Thank you for your kind words and extending your email address to me as well. I am just trying to keep a positive attitude about all of this, since I won't really know any lab results for about a month (that's how fast things go when one has no insurance!)

And I seriously can't believe I forgot to include my condolences about your brother. I lost my mom on her 65th birthday two years ago.. its so hard to lose someone we love (or anyone for that matter!)