LoseIt!

That is AWESOME!!! YOU DID IT!! I know that feeling of everyone whizzing by you. :cursing: My second 5K I started so far in the back that there was no one to pass me. I actually passed a person or two. Doing things like this is hard and it is a big deal. GOOD FOR YOU!

Totally!! Some people have problems with Thanksgiving or Christmas, but Halloween is totally my weakness!! Chocolate = delicious. And there are so many options. I hope you made it through safe. :cursing:

How fun!! I just get so motivated every time I read your posts. :cursing:

I can't wait to see! You can hear how great you feel just by reading your post. :cursing: LOVE IT!!

1 lb a week is 1 lb a week! Just keep moving in the right direction!! :cursing:

Not everybody loses a lot or loses right away. Some do and some don't. Just keep yourself focused on you. A fill will help, but you may need another (or another) to get where you need to be. It is a marathon, not a sprint. But you have already started and it does get easier!

I'm so inspired by your post! I love all of the changes you are noticing in yourself. That is fantastic! Have a wonderful time in India and Thailand. I think it would be amazing to visit those places!

That is fabulous! Congrats and keep up the great work!

You can do it!!

Congratulations!! Good for you with your running. That takes a lot of committment!!

November is off with a bang! Last night was my standard Jazzercise and it felt good. We did a lot of jumping which my feet grumbled about, but I was able to do most all of it! We did a move called a reverse plank where you are sitting with your feet straight out and you lift your body off the floor using your arms. That wasn't so bad. But then we had to take turns raising each leg in the air...that was hard! And I'm quite sure I wouldn't have been able to do it 50 pounds ago, much less 75! Last night I sadly watched the Texas Rangers finish their spectalcular season. They were SO fun to watch and they truly made a fan of me. Once the game was over, I switched to MNF to watch my beloved Colts. It was nice to have a win to offset some of the World Series sadness. :-) Thank goodness I'm not a Cowboys fan!!! HAHA! This morning I got up extra early and went for a 1.75 mile run. It is still really hard, but I feel better when it is done. I got ready and went to vote. Cori & I usually ride together on election days, but we have different schedules today so I headed to the polling place alone this morning. Once I got there to check in, my name wasn't on the list. As they were calling it in, Cori walked in and she wasn't on the list either. Luckily, Cori had her voting card and it turns out that our precinct moved. Excellent! So off to the next polling place. I did my civic duty and STILL made it to work early. Happy Election Day! If nothing else, all the negative ads will be behind us for a few months.

I had an interesting and meaningful experience this morning. It is a little outside my normal blog feel, so I’m posting separately. But it meant a lot to me and I wanted to share. As a child, I looked up to my older cousin Tammy. In a big family, she was the oldest girl and hung out with all the older boys. There were 13 of us cousins and growing up we spent a lot of time together on my grandparent’s farm. We were so blessed to have that time together. I remember idolizing Tammy when I was in elementary school…she was probably in high school around that time. I thought she was so beautiful. I caught the bouquet at her wedding to handsome Mike. She was radiant that day. Several years later, Tammy was attacked at her job. I was somewhat young and wasn’t privy to the details, but I know it wasn’t good. From that point on, she was never able to pull out of the spiral that began. She was in unsuccessful therapy, on too many pills and lived with her enabling mother. She lost her husband, her job, her friends, and her happiness. She was terribly obese. At our family get-togethers, she would eat and eat and eat. It was devastating to watch. I understand now that Tammy always had an eating problem…just like everyone else in my family, including me. I honestly believe it is hereditary. We all have weight issues, although some have a better handle on it than others. She had just gotten to the point where she couldn’t or didn’t want (or didn’t have the energy) to control it. Several years ago, Tammy passed away in her sleep. I’m not sure if they every actually figured out the true cause. But in my heart, Tammy just gave up on life. This morning, I was dreaming about Tammy. I was having a conversation with her and her two sisters (sisters that do not exist in reality and I’m not sure what/who they symbolize). I don’t really remember that conversation, but I do know that it was a positive and happy one. Still in the dream, I called my mom. I told her about the conversation and although she didn’t mention the sisters she did remind me that Tammy had died so it couldn’t have been her. I told her that I forgot Tammy had died, but I KNEW it was her. Of that I was sure. The conversation ended. Still in the dream, I was standing at a bathroom mirror. I laid my hands flat on the counter and bowed my head. I said to Tammy that I know it was you and I know you are here with me now. I asked her to give me a sign that she was with me. I looked up into the mirror with my hands firmly on the counter. My reflection was there pointing straight at me. It startled me, but then my body became warm and I started to wake up. Before I completely let go, I told her that “I knew it.” Whether I believe that Tammy’s spirit was truly with me or whether I believe it was simply a dream is irrelevant. I know that Tammy would be behind me and appreciate what I am doing to change my life. It also helps reaffirm what I am fighting for. Although I am not Tammy, I do think that we share many similarities. I could very easily follow her path. But I’m choosing something different. I’m forging my own way and I WILL be successful. I love you Tammy and I promise that you will always be in my heart. Beth

First and foremost (ripping off the bandaid), the bad news is that I only lost one pound in October. Yikes! I know you are not supposed to say "only" because a pound lost is a pound lost. And for that, I am thankful. If I had worked hard for this pound, then I would be thrilled! But you all know with all of my vacations and Halloween, etc., I have spent a lot of time off the wagon this month. That's okay and I'm not beating myself up about it, but that is why I am only one pound down. Time to pay the piper!! HOWEVER, there is a lot of good news too. That one pound took me out of Class 2 obesity and into Class 1. That is a nice goal to reach! Also, I lost 7 inches on my body this month, including 2.5" on my bust, 1.5" on my waist and over a half inch on each upper arm. So, I'm tightening up and getting smaller which is the real goal anyway. Also...2nd 5K! I attached a picture from the race. I'm getting stronger and increasing my stamina, so that's great! November, here I come!!

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night since I was anxious about the run. When I did get up, I felt ready to go. Liz picked me up at 7:15am and we were off. It was a chilly morning, so I wore long pants and a sweatshirt over my Tshirt along with some gloves. When we got there, I didn't want to carry my sweatshirt around, so I shed it and just wore my Tshirt but I kept the gloves. Brrrr... We got there about a half hour early so we tried to keep moving to keep warm. Finally it was time for the race to start. We lined up at the back and followed the herd. There was a lengthy and kind of steep hill to start. At about the half mile mark, I was wondering why in the heck I was doing this!! I muscled through it and around the mile mark, I was able to settle in a bit. The start of the 2nd mile was a shorter steep hill which I was able to take easily. Liz kept up conversation for both of us which helped keep me distracted. About halfway through the race, I ditched my Target $1 gloves. Once we hit the two mile marker, I knew I was doing well. The third mile had one more medium hill and then it was time for the end which was down the hill that started the race. The last couple tenths I kicked to the absolute delight of Liz, ha! Liz timed us finishing at 45:14 and the official results showed 45:12. Since my last one was 48:03, I am very excited! My ultimately goal was 45:00, so I was REALLY close!! After some coffee, we made our way home. I'm so happy and proud of what I am accomplishing. My next run is on 12/04, so just over a month. Halloween is an evil holiday. People keep giving me candy and I just keep eating it. At least I'm logging it... Have a wonderful weekend!!

I couldn't eat the post op way without the Band. I'm a little loose right now and I'm having to fight it as hard as I can. I needed this to be able to do the things I need to do. I haven't "thrown up" like I used to think of throwing up since I got the back. Sometimes I do a spit up or productive burp type of think, but it is not true vomiting. Best of luck!

Busy day ahead, so I don't have time for much. But I wanted to check in and ask for everyone to wish me luck on my 5K tomorrow! Although I have practiced a bit more, I'm still not ready to run 3.1 miles. Ha! But it will be fun since I'm doing it with a dear friend. I picked up my packet yesterday, so I'm ready to go!! I have a little bit of Halloween spirit today. I'm wearing a Rangers shirt (they are going to do SO much better at home) with some little devil horns (since I'm an ANGRY Ranger). I need to go by Target tonight because I need some Halloween socks and a long sleeved Tshirt to wear to the run. It's getting COLD in the mornings!! Have a super weekend everyone!

I'm SO glad that I made the fill appointment. Yesterday, I really focused on what I was eating and my hunger. Morning was okay. I had my normal coffee then smoothie which generally gets me to lunchtime. I drink my coffee when I get to work and usually start my smoothie around 9:30. So, I'm not finished with it until 10:15 typically, and sometimes I'm not finished with it until 11:15 which is when we go to lunch. Yesterday, I had lunch in and gave up working out as I mentioned in my blog. I had some soup (which isn't a good choice for staying power) along with a few tortilla chips and hummus. In retrospect, something solid would have helped keep the hunger at bay longer. In this case, I was hungry by 3:00. I had some greek yogurt and was fine until dinner. By the time we got to the restaurant, I was starving. I did have a drink. It was called Between the Sheets. I asked the waiter (who I'm pretty sure was gay) how he liked Between the Sheets. Honest to goodness, I wasn't trying to be flirty, but it came out that way and my girlfriends thought it was hilarious. For the record, it was delicious! I was proud of myself because even though I'm able to eat bread, I passed on the deliciously-smelling rosemary bread that was delivered to our table. I ordered the tilapia dish which was grilled fish with the tastiest citrus caper sauce. It came with super thin cut fingerling potates and blanched arugula. I ate about half my fish and all of the potatoes. The problem came when my new waiter boyfriend gave me a complimentary red velvet cupcake. The place was known for their pastries, so who was I to say no?? I took my leftover fish (and the extra 2 cupcakes to my BFF who couldn't make it to dinner.) I stayed up to watch the disappointing Rangers game and by the time I went to bed, my stomach was growling. :-( Jax tells me that between my calories consumed and calories burned (I didn't work out at all yesterday), I should have broke even. I was up 2 tenths on the scale this morning, so that make sense. I fluctuate 2-4 tenths with bloating, easy. This is part of the process, I know. I will have to by hyper aware of what I'm eating. I will have to eat healthier because I'm requiring bigger portions to keep me full. That...and exercise...is what I will have to do until I can get some help with my fill. i will NOT let this set me back. As frustrating as it is, I will probably not realistically reach Onederland by Thanksgiving. But that's okay. As long as I don't gain anything until my fill, I will consider it a success. After that, I will reevaluate. :-) On a final note...I saw a friend last night that I hadn't seen in two months (actually, more like 10 weeks) because she was unable to make it to our last monthly dinner. She went on and on about how much weight I had lost and how good I looked. I've lost 12 pounds in that time which is more that I realized. I told my mom that I had only lost about 7 pounds since I had seen her. Ha! Anyway, 12 pounds is still less than 20% of my total weightloss. But I think those 12 pounds really made a substantial difference. Okay, really the final note...today I'm wearing some skinny jeans. I've never worn skinny jeans before because they make my butt and thighs look to big. But I bought these and paired them with a black shirt and longish black and white cardigan. I have on tall black leather boots outside of the jeans. This is a real fashion risk for me, people! :-) I feel myself ready to make some bolder choices. Maybe it is the hair! We are almost to the weekend, everybody! Hang on!!

One beautiful thing that has come from my transition over the last couple of years is that I am much more flexible and I can work through my stress in a more productive way. I have a contract employee that is supposed to work for me 3 days a week. She is wonderful person and capable of doing a fabulous job. However, she is pregnant and very sick...legitimately, ridiculously sick. My heart goes out to her and what is even worse is that with her first baby she was sick through the ENTIRE pregnancy. I just can't even imagine! But in the meantime, the work just isn't getting done and I'm starting to feel the walls closing in. I took a minute to just stop and evaluate. First, I realized that I was stressing a lot about getting my exercise in. While I DO NOT want to give up on my exercise, I do need to be realistic. I have been working out more lately to offset the extra I eat because of my hunger. I decided that it makes sense to take a lunch hour and go get a fill. I'm not sure why I felt that I should put it off. I eat well over a cup of food at each meal and I'm still quite hungry between meals. Common sense says, time for a fill and that is what I'm going to do. I have to wait until 11/09 because that is first opening, but it is scheduled and that is one thing off the list of stressers. Second, I am going to have to work some overtime. That's quite okay, but I have to figure out what I'm going to give up to do it. Today, I'm not willing to give up dinner with friends, so I gave up walking at lunch. I will make a concentrated effort to do SOMETHING when I get home. Maybe 100 crunches and 20 pushups? And I will be okay with that and not beat myself up. I'm still Jazzercising tomorrow and running on Saturday. That is still over 3 hours of exercise for the week, so nothing to sneeze at. I will also endeavor to make good choices at dinner tonight. I have done quite well with food this week, so far...especially since I have been so hungry. So, to summarize, I have to find the balance between JUSTIFCATION and FLEXIBILITY. I have a feeling that it is going to be a long lesson. Sidenote: several people have asked me about Jax. Jax is my Bodybugg. You can learn about it at bodybugg.com. They aren't for everyone, but I have found (as a person who thrives on data) it to be extrememly helpful. Two thoughts...first, the separate display screen isn't necessary to purchase. I haven't used mine since the second week I had it. Second, you will have to log everything you eat to be successful. I never did that before, but I do now. The numbers don't lie and it forces me to truly evaluate myself. Peace out!! :-)

I love, love, love my support group and I agree with you 100%!!

You are such a pro now! Honestly, I have had many and I still can't watch. My eyes are always focused firmly on the nurse!!

Your story breaks my heart, but it is also insprining. You are making a change in your life and that is not easy to do. I wish you the best of luck!

The FINAL COUNTDOWN!! Congratulations!

Congrats on your bandiversary and your amazing weight loss!!

You have come to the right place! Check in often during your journey and I know you will always find support. This IS a big decisiona and big deal. Good for you for making sure you are ready. That just means that you are going to do that much better. Best of luck!!

I find myself smiling anytime I read anything you write. You not only continue to do such a fabulous job yourself, but you also lift people up and motivate them at the same time. You really do hold a place in my heart! Keep up the fantastic work! Hugs!