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Six Months Come and Gone!!

I missed my six month bandaversary which was 11/26. I was at my mom's who saw me for the first time since before my surgery. She was very suprised when I walked into baggage claim at DFW. I got a lot of positive reinforcement at her house (not from her but from everybody else). Since I decided to do lap band back in January I'v lost about 84 lbs. I'm under 200 for the first time in 6 years and I wear size 14 pants. My arms are horrendous and I am going to focus on them with a trainer (still in 16W), but I'm very very pleased with it all.   I had a terrible Thanksgiving. I am still very reactive to stress, and I was stressed out that morning trying to get everything done. At 52, you would think I wouldn't feel like a bad child around my mom, but I do. I took the first tiny bite of mashed potatoes and it CAME RIGHT BACK UP. Luckily in my napkin, but it was like potato slime. Nothing else would work so I just pushed food aound my plate and pretended to eat but my aunt and daughter caught me. I got better by Friday but I realize how stress affects me. This never used to happen. I just got home last night and I feel somewhat better. We worked out every day but Thursday and I lost another 4 lbs last week so I'm happy. My goal is to be at goal by my 1 year anniversary which is 6 months and about 50 lbs away.   I have to go back to work this afternoon; I have an interview with a company closer to home this morning. Nice to "see everyone" again and wish me luck today!

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Feeling Lucky (and Blessed)

I had to have some follow up surgery for an IOL and cataract on my right eye last week. The surgery went well, but I got very dizzy by Friday and was violently ill by Saturday morning. It was a reaction to the anesthetic, but by Saturday night I could not even tolerate a drop of water. (Sound familiar?). I slept well, got up Sunday morning to the same thing when I promptly called my bariatric surgeon. The PA told me to let my tummy sit for a couple hours without trying anything and then chew on some ice chips. IT DID THE TRICK. By last night I was much better.   Went in this morning for an exam and scan -- all is FINE. I am so lucky! I could have done some serious damage to the band and it is positioned fine and still has 7.25/10 fluid. The PA felt that even though I had been violently ill several times that my band is pretty secure. I think the next time I have anasthesia I'll get the band un-filled just to be safe. And I'm sticking to liquids for the next couple days just to be careful.   To top it off, I can see WONDERFULLY out of my right eye -- so clear and vibrant colors -- didn't realize how much I had missed out on! I'm doing the right eye in a couple weeks. Until then, its back to working out (I miss my 5am gym sessions!)   Many friends and family members were praying for success and no harm to this wonderful tool I've embraced. Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support. God is good!

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Lesson Learned: Don't Take Anything for Granted

The LAP-BAND®®® surgery was the first surgery I had since I was 3 (48 years ago). I did pretty well and I've done well with the band. I was told in May (right before surgery) that I had a cataract in the right eye and surgery was required. I didn't want to have two surgeries back to back, so I scheduled this for October.   I had my cataract surgery on my right eye on Tuesday. I felt fantastic afterwards, but have had some complications. I had astigmatism and lens correction in addition to the cataract surgery, and while my vision is better I have flashing and other issues I'm told are will require a second surgery for retina issues.   My lesson is never to take anything related to your health for granted -- joints, heart, AND VISION. I've been sailing along for years seeing with contacts without a problem. I took a lot of things for granted and I learn day by day its not as simple as it seems.   To top it off I can't do any kind of exercise this week and with the additional surgery next week I also can't exercise a week after that. That is hard for me as I'm used to a lot of cardio and weights and this is a setback -- weight -wise.   It is what it is, I guess. I'll follow instructions and be a model patient and do everything I can to ensure my eye is good. Thanks for "listening".

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Five Months Already!

It is very hard to believe that five months have FLOWN by since my surgery. I have had many changes in my life, health and overall self-confidence since then.   First, I don't know how much weight I've lost. I don't weigh myself anymore and I haven't been to the surgeon in 2 months. I did have to go see my PCP for cataract surgery clearance, and I lost 50+ lbs since I saw her. I really measure myself against my clothes fitting, or my energy, or my ability to do something I haven't done in a long time.   Many many changes: where I shop for clothes. How many things I participate in that I never had the courage for before. My energy level.   I don't really get hungry or tempted to eat more or something I shouldn't. I looked back at the diet plan, and after 3 months post-surgery I don't really have any restrictions. I can't eat more than 3/4 - 1c of food 3 times a day but I try to have a protein bar if I'm working out. I drink a lot more water, very little soda or coffee, and very very little alcohol. I focus on lean protein and veggies.   People I haven't seen since Christmas last year are shocked. I guess I enjoy that. I can't wait to see my mom at Thanksgiving -- I haven't seen her since before the surgery in May.   Its so different than five months ago. I'm so glad I did this surgery and am so appreciative of all the support! I'm a little more than halfway there -- and enjoying every day...........

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

First Business Trip (Almost 5 Months Out)

First plane ride - check First full week away from home - check   Had a moment of tears filling eyes when I got in my very own seat with its very own armrest down and FIT. Snapped the belt shut with about 6 inches remaining. Tray table went down with room to spare!   Stood at a trade show 8 hours a day. So not tired we walked from the hotel to the Exhibition Hall each way each day in the 95 degree Phoenix heat. Worked out twice on top of all that (still on C25K program), carried boxes, cleaned booths, went to events and still not tired and no swollen ankles.   Thank you Dr. Oliak. Thank you Blue Cross, Thank you friends and family, Thank you me for doing this. Thank God for the blessing of health recovery and peace of mind.   I am a different person than I was 6 months ago. Could NEVER have done it without the surgery, the support, the information and the motivation. Love you all!!! :thumbup:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

I Know Who I Am

Did you guys every play that game in the car? I was thinking about it driving home tonight. Random thoughts:   I have changed so much in the past nine months. A lot on the outside, to be sure, but just as much inside. Setting and working toward healthy goals has helped me in SO MANY WAYS. My energy and self confidence have enabled me to make some changes in my behavior -- reactions, enthusiasm, ability to work harder and smarter -- that mean my professional and personal lives are on a happier track than they were before.   I wore a size LARGE shirt today. Me. 3X Woman in a misses large! And I walked by a mirror this afternoon and happened to see a side view. Wow! I have a figure! I'm not Jabba the Hut anymore! I have cheekbones?! A neck! And ONE chin?!   In traffic, I just thought about this and said a prayer, thanking God for the many blessings I've had since making the decision to have LAP-BAND® in late December. I am so blessed.   I know who I am: a Christian bandster looking forward to decades of health, peace and happiness!

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Four Months Today!!!

It doesn't seem like it was four months ago today I got banded. I don't really think about my band all that much and have grown to just making good choices and eating well the majority of the time.   The biggest changes in me are in my emotional and physical health. I work out HARD 5-6 days a week. My blood pressure and cholesterol are within normal ranges. My knees and back don't hurt. Feet don't swell. Emotionally I feel like I'm 40 (30?) again and have no qualms about going places, meeting people and getting involved.   I'm a little short of halfway to goal. When I get there I will have lost more weight than I will weigh. Nice!!   I don't have many clothes to wear but I work with the outfits I have to look nice at work. I've lost 6 sizes on bottom and 3 on top so far and I have a ways to go so I'm not investing in that yet!   I am happy. I no longer sit around waiting for things to happen for me; I make them happen. I think the mental and emotional changes are as noticeable to me (if not more) than the physical changes.   On to the next month! Thank you all for being there for me. This is a great mechanism for talking, venting and finding some good recommendations. I am running (ok jogging) to the next month!   - Sandy -

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

C25K -- The New Adventure

First a disclaimer: I have NEVER run for anybody or anything. I probably had to do a mile test for physical fitness a couple times and although I don't remember I'm sure I walked. Even thin I never was a runner.   Inspired by my buddy LoseIt, I decided to try. Everyone is talking about the Couch 2 5K program, and I went online to download music, coaching and written materials. In my usual anal way I was probably over-prepared. My goal is to run a 5K on or around Christmas, where I will be in South Florida on a vacation.   I started this morning -- Day 1 Week 1 of a 9 week program. Ish. For someone that has been doing pretty good cardio for 3 months I was not too good at this, BUT I MADE IT THROUGH. I jogged when I was supposed to and walked fast when indicated.   The online blogs say this is not a way to lose weight, but 35 minutes of heart pumping cardio felt pretty much like a regular workout. I'm going to do this 3 days a week and have 2-3 days of weight lifting followed by elliptical. I am at a point where I'm not losing weight eating on plan and exercising 3 days a week. I added this program to try to kick it up a little.   If I can walk in the morning I'll update you all on how I feel. If you don't hear from me I'm in bed with a heating pad on my thighs.......... Until then have a great Sunday!!!

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

A Bandster Reflects...........

Two things:   1. I think I've always been pretty opinionated, but it seems like its getting worse the older I get (or more frustrated or busy or something?). I will try to keep my opinions to myself. Nobody needs to hear what I think and I've noticed I'm telling people what I think isn't really a good thing. I'm going to try to (LoseIt's term) Close Thy Mouth a little more whether its in a conversation at work, church, or even on this site.   2. I had my surgery almost 4 months ago. People don't really want to hear about lap band (outside of bandsters). People I haven't seen for more than 4 months don't really want to hear HOW I lost weight they just want me to say "thank you" for the compliment and move on. I've struggled with this one and I'm working on making this better.   I'm just so excited about how my life is going I get a little giddy and talkative. Its my nature and this old dog is working on new tricks. Until then, thank you all for listening and understanding :-).     :thumbup:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Hi Everybody! Its Been Awhile......

I try not to blog every day anymore. Its been 3 1/2 months since my surgery and honestly things don't change much day-to-day regarding my eating, exercise, health. I've successfully overcome most of the habit and emotional changes and enjoy immensely feeling TREMENDOUSLY better every morning when I get up.   I'm 51 (almost 52). I seriously feel better than I did at 40.   My only complaints in life are related to my job, and not really any there, either. I'm grateful to have a good job and a paycheck that gives me freedom to enjoy doing the things I do.   I do a lot more than I used to socially. I'm going to Marketing meetings in Orange County, volunteering with church, more social stuff with friends. I don't stay home much.   I attribute the attitude, the energy, the emotions with the band and the changes I've made since deciding to be banded in January 2010. Its becoming more of the usual lifestyle and less thinking about banding.   I never dreamt 9 months ago I would be where I am. I've lost half of the weight I want to lose, and a big part of the hangups I had associated with how I felt about myself. I'm still obese; but I'm truly at peace.   On to the next chapter :-). Smiling all the way..........

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Successful Daughter Visit; Back to Monday!!!

My daughter's visit went very well, although I was sad to see her leave. My house is so quiet without her! We really had a great weekend. Of course it started great when she walked down the stairs from the airplane gates crying "Oh mommy you look so great!". We didn't dwell on the surgery or anything food related all weekend although she noted a couple times how much more energy I have.   We walked over 6 miles on Friday shopping for her. She was buying new clothes for our trip to Aruba for Christmas. I didn't buy much because I've been debating what size to buy. We ate organic and sashimi on Friday. Saturday I had family over and I really couldn't eat much as I was stressing over company and hostessing. Sunday we did church and I made a big brunch for everybody and I ate a little. We also managed to go to the gym twice as well.   All in all I did well on the plan and lost 4 lbs since Thursday. I was a little disappointed in my cousin's reactions -- one actually said "you were so fat at Christmas I'm glad you are doing something about it". OK, backhanded compliment? Maybe.   Back to work and a busy week. The hell I've been through with my product line over the last 8 months is almost over and I'll be swamped until after the first of the year. This is great for me in many ways and I'm grateful for that. There will still be drama and politics but I'll be too busy to worry about them.   Thank you to all for your well wishes. I love my daughter dearly and I appreciate hers (and yours) support immensely

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Three Month Bandaversary and Ashley!!!

Big day today. Three months ago today I was banded. I don't even remember some of the specifics anymore. I don't know whether that is old age or just focusing on new things like eating healthier and exercise.   I've come a LONG WAY since my decision to pursue LAP-BAND® in late December. I've lost 60 lbs, many sizes, shoe sizes, feel a ton better in terms of energy and self esteem. I have a LONG way to go, but I can see the tunnel (not yet the light much less the light at the end). It was a struggle sometimes, but mostly I feel incredibly blessed every day.   My 24-year old daughter Ashley is flying in from Omaha today for a long weekend with her mommy. I haven't seen her since Christmas. I might just hug her all night until she finally says "ok I need sleep!". We have a fun weekend of shopping, pampering and family dinners at my house. I'm not worried about eating -- I can't eat that much anyways and I don't really crave or miss anything. I've inspired her (so she says) to work out and she has lost 18 lbs (she wasn't really heavy to begin with), and she wants to go to the gym with me. We will be doing a lot of walking and swimming so I think I'm covered exercise-wise. She leaves Sunday night.   I still have her message to me on 5/26 on my voicemail. I re-save it all the time and will never delete it. That voicemail, all your support, and a strength I didn't know I possessed got me to this point, and will get me to goal on 5/26/11.   God's peace.........   Sandy

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

NO Patience

I don't know what happened to my patience. I had a little. It must have been stored in my boobs and it faded away......   I don't see any change or feel any change in my weight or clothing or looks for a LONG time. I'm losing, but VERY slowly now and its bugging me to no end. I work out 4 x a week at the gym and I don't eat over 800-900 cals/day. My hair is thinning and I'm tired.   I feel like my house is not in order. My house where I live in this case. I spent hours this weekend washing blinds and cleaning cupboards and washing bathroom accessories. It doesn't seem like its been that long since that's been done, but it was all dirty and I'm mad about that.   I am just impatient with my life right now. Nothing is in order (it feels that way to me) and I've lost control. As a Christian I realize I have no control but logically that is not computing right now.   Thank you all for letting me vent. I'll get better............:biggrin:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Little Victories

Observations with a smile........   - a regular towel wraps around me without a major gap!   - my friend gave me two pairs of pants with tags that were too big for her and they fit! I have clothes to wear!!   - I did 1000 situps on the ball (over a 90 minute period). Might not be able to move tomorrow, but got them done   - Someone at the gym said I looked "smaller". LOL   - I found a pair of cute capris in the back of the closet (pays to clear it out lol) that I probably wore 5 years ago. I have them on today!! This is the last time they will work. I guess I must have been about 240 then? I'm about 230 now so that's reasonable. My bottom half is shrinking much faster than the top half (arms mostly) with the exception of.....     Bad thing (but oh so typical!). My bras are huge! My poor boobies are already non-existent. That is just not right! LOL.   Have a great day everybody

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

A Milestone! Not Eating When I'm Stressed?!

Amazing the changes in my hunger and eating.....   I'm having a very stressful time at work. My trip Wednesday to San Francisco got cancelled at the last minute, and I felt bad about not going. In addition, things are really bad at work. A lot of drama, no clear communication, less clear direction and a bunch of rumors and whispering. My job is a big part of my life (I made it that way, ick!)   In the past, when I'm stressed out, I ALWAYS turned to food. Mindlessly eating on the couch, watching TV, thinking "Woe is Me". I am still thinking the woe is me thing, but I'm not hungry and I'm not mindlessly eating like I used to. I made a clear decision tonight to have something healthy, and am sticking to Vitamin Water Zero the rest of the night.   Tomorrow I'll start to deal with what I might need to do with my job. Tonight I'm going to do a little cleaning, give myself a facial and relax.   I've been going to the Emotional Eating support group for three weeks. Its sinking in!!! And thank you to all of you for the wonderful advice and support along the way. I have always felt tremendous support, and I will continue to try to support all of you as best I can.   God's peace.........   Sandy:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

First Plane Ride Post Surgery!!!

Today I fly to San Francisco; back tomorrow afternoon. I have a meeting in the morning in Union Square. My hotel is there, and for the first time I'm taking BART (train) from the airport to my hotel. I'm also planning on taking the trolley from the hotel down to the pier which has great food, beautiful views and some walking opportunities. The sun will start to set around 9, and I don't want to be out there myself so I'll head back at sunset. I'm excited to be confident enough to plan this (execution? I'm pretty sure).   I'm home this morning packing, working and getting in some cardio.   I had an appointment with my new trainer at 5am and I slept through it. I NEVER do that. I called at 5:20 and he answered and I tried to get in at 6 but he couldn't so that is wasted time/money and motivation. I meet with him again on Sunday morning. Instead of being mad I stayed up and started doing stuff around the house. I have plenty of time to work out before I go to the airport.   Two concerns are fitting easier in the seats and no belt extender. I really only used a belt extender on commuter flights, and this is one of those so I'll be excited to see how that goes.   Get home tomorrow at 4:30 and support group starts at 6. That may not sound bad, but its rush hour and traffic that way will mean 90 minutes to go the 20 miles will be a stretch.   Funny. I'm not stressing on the trip at all! Thank you all for your fantastic support, and listening to me throughout the last 11 weeks (wow! today!). I sincerely appreciate your recommendations, support and courage throughout the way!

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Motivation Musings (Bob and Jillian)

I considered myself motivated to lose weight, eat healthier and get back into shape. Not so much.....   I meet with a personal trainer from my gym every Sunday morning. The last few weeks I'm not even motivated to go, and I actually cancelled an appointment and had to pay for it two weeks ago. Although I've been doing some work at home, it wasn't nearly at the level I was the first six weeks following surgery.   I talked about my lack of motivation with the PA on Friday at my fill appointment. She suggested I need a Bob Greene instead of a Jillian Michaels. and I felt like I needed to make a change, so I booked a different trainer.   I just got home from a great training and motivation session. He understands where I'm at, where I want to go, and my issues I've had along the way and gave me some great tips and advice. I felt so good I even did the elliptical for 45 minutes afterwards.   Some people have partners that can motivate them. Some people can do it themselves. I have figured out that I don't really have either of the above, so I'm going to look to my trainer for now. Booked two appointments for the next seven days. Hopefully this will help! :thumbup:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Fill #3 Update

Have I said I love my surgeon's office? The PA is WONDERFUL. My appointment was this afternoon for fill #3. Wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not, so I kept the appointment and had about 30 minutes of conversation and training. Yep, training.   My weight loss is good. Blood pressure was ok, not great. What we do every time is fill out a questionnaire -- what we are eating, how often, how we feel, issues etc. Then the PA comes in. She started asking me questions about how many times I've thrown up since the last fill, how often I get stuck, motivation levels, hunger..... After about 10 minutes she says I'm not going to fill you today -- you need to do the following:   1. First two bites of every meal should be soft -- applesauce, tea, liquid. This will "wake up" the pouch. I was eating the first couple bites of solids fast (starving) and the pouch rebelled. Throwing those bites up would move me back to starvation, and I wasn't getting a "full signal" after that. (I didn't do this EVERY time I ate, but probably once a day).   2. Then eat the 1c of food within 20 minutes, careful to chew and wait, but within 20 minutes. If I'm not done don't eat the rest.   3. Don't eat anything within 3 hours after the last meal. Water, tea, juice, popsicle. Nothing else.   So I'm going to work on this. I was following what I've been told, but I can follow this and I'm excited about it. Thank you to everyone for your support and advice! Happy Weekend!!!

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

To Fill or Not to Fill.........

I had my second fill on 7/19. For the next week I stayed on liquids and when I strayed at all I had major issues with PBing/stuck/etc.   Starting about Friday of last week no longer felt any restriction. Hungry about every 2-3 hours and although I never ate more than 1 C of food every 3 hours I was still hungry when I was done. I do have to chew more and eat more slowly. Drink good water (70+ oz a day). Probably eat 4 meals a day? (1 is a little grazing kind of thing?) Didn't work out as much last week or the week before as I was weak and unmotivated.   My next fill appointment is Friday afternoon (8/6). I think I'm getting closer, but I don't know if I should fill or flee for now. I'd like the band to work a little more at restricting amount and number of times, but I'm worried it will be too much.   Here's my fills: Had 4cc in 10 cc band at surgery (5/26). First fill to 5.5cc on 6/28. Second fill to 7.25cc on 7/19.   Two fears: overfilling and what happens if I get to 10cc and I'm still not getting the restriction?   Its a quandry, I tell you :-) Your input is welcome and appreciated........   :cool:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

YESSSSSS! Can't Shop in Woman's World!!!

I'm still at 230, but today I went to Macy's because I have no casual pants to wear and I decided to check out the sales.   I went up to the third floor at Macy's to Woman's World. My best friends work there (they are my best friends because my closet capers have paid their mortgages for years). My last jeans were 24s, so I pulled 18Ws knowing I'm close to that. I had a tearful moment in the dressing room when I pulled them on without unzipping them!   One of the assistants knocked and asked if I needed anything. I opened the door and showed her the pants and she said "Honey you need to go down to Misses. We don't have anything to fit you up here.".   I bought 18s. They are tight, but wearable. I'm having a moment or two today. Two months ago those 24's fit good. I packed the rest of the casual pants up to sell or give away. I AM DONE WITH LANE BRYANT. I AM DONE WITH AVENUE. I AM DONE WITH WOMAN"S WORLD.   I've taken this surgery very seriously. I've worked out hard, and keep to meal plans (for the most part). I've embraced this with everything I have.   Feeling better and being off blood pressure meds are one thing. But a pair of pants in Misses? PRICELESS.

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Emotional Eating Sessions

The first emotional eating session held at the surgeon's office by the psychologist on staff starts tonight at 6:00. There are days when I think they are going to be a waste of my time, and more days where I realize most of my eating is emotional and I need to learn how to control it better.   Although I'm at or close to the sweet spot, I still find myself reacting to stress/traffic/boredom by thinking I'm hungry. Even if I eat something it isn't much and its healthy, but I can't eat a lot which is good. I'm still basically running for the refrigerator when I get home from work (after a 90 minute minimum commute).   Yesterday I tried to drink my favorite vitamin water zero on the way home. I wasn't even hungry when I got in the door but I was hot and stressed and went straight for the turkey meat! After about 3 bites I was full for the time being and I could move on to do something else. I'm hoping to learn better coping mechanisms for the ride home and arrival home.   So I'm looking forward to these sessions. They are enrollment only and limited to 12 people so we'll get some great support over the next six (or eight?) sessions.   It will never beat the support we all give each other on this site! Take care everybody and have a wonderful day!!!   ---- Sandy ----

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Went to lunch today and had shrimp cerviche. It took me 65 minutes to eat about 1/2 the serving, BUT I did it without pain or issue!!! My friend just sat there and watched me the last 30 minutes. I'm fine with that as long as I didn't hiccup, slime and PB for a long time afterwards.   It was probably too long, but I didn't want to risk yesterday's situation re-occurring. I think I remember the nutritionist saying what you can't finish in 45 minutes should be left behind. I'll figure this out in the next week (one week post-fill).   Now let's see if I stay full at least 3-4 hours. I feel so much better today than yesterday!   Got me thinking -- in this lifestyle change I need to be more patient -- eating, exercising, weight loss. Slow and steady will get me where I need/want to be. It won't always work, but at least for now I'm thinking about it.   Hope your Tuesday is going well, everybody.

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Stuck! More Ways Than One!

This just happened so its pretty "fresh" in my mind..........   I haven't really had any solid food since last Sunday night (Monday fill), and I was ready today at lunch. Didn't have breakfast; had a slim fast shake (1/2 at 9 am), and was fairly hungry by noon.   My friend and I went to our favorite Sushi resteraunt to have salads. Mine is crab and shrimp all chopped up in little pieces over lettuce. (I don't eat the lettuce won't even try). I take a bite of crab -- nummy and easy. It isn't really chewing its so small, but I chew chew chew anyways. I sit down my chopsticks, chat for a minute or two and take the next bite. Excellent. But then it happens. AGAIN. Brain fart. Forget to wait and shovel about 2-3 forkfuls in 20 seconds while talking even!!! And AGAIN, I get stuck.   Poor friend this is the second time she's seen this in as many weeks. I walk slowly to the bathroom, hoping that getting up will help. NOPE. Slime for awhile, go back to the table with hiccups. Take a swallow of water.   WRONG decision. Makes it all worse. Go back to the bathroom, slime again. Back to the table where she is paying already. We leave and then I endure THE LONGEST FIVE MILES ever. Longer than being in labor and driving to the hospital. Hiccups and feeling terrible all the way. She is talking but I can't respond, just sweating and convinced I'm dying (I did not verablize this; I couldn't) Pull into the driveway at work, all of a sudden its all gone!   NOT LEARNING is really frustrating to me. I'm not like this with intellectual stuff. This eating is so ingrained I'm not doing well.   I'm mad at me. I will keep reminding myself, but I'm mad. I don't want to hurt the band, and I need to figure out what I'm doing and make sure I'm getting nutrients instead of eating and spitting them all back up.   Thanks for letting me get this "off my chest", in more ways than one!   :thumbup:

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Happy and Sad

First, I want to say how much I appreciate everybody's support and feedback yesterday. I have truly found support here and I can't communicate enough how much that means to me.   I realize I am happy and sad at the same time. This week, since I'm newly filled and very restricted, I'm not really eating any solids and I think although I'm excited to be getting closer to the sweet spot, I'm depressed because I'm so USED to chewing and eating and not having to take so much longer to eat. I am mourning my old habits, in a strange way!   I weighed today at the gym, as every Saturday. I'm overjoyed at the weight loss, and excited by the fact I can exercise, climb stairs, enjoy being active more than I have in a long, long time. I have fun working out, and even more fun feeling good when the workout is over. I'm not sad to give up sitting on the couch or playing farmville for hours lol.   I mailed off three suits I sold on EBay this week -- the first of many sets of beautiful clothes I've accumulated over the last five years. Again, happy they don't fit, sad to see them go.   I wouldn't trade where I am in this banding journey for anything. I look forward to shopping for new clothes next spring, and feeling even better every day.   Thanks for listening. I'll try to be there for all of you any time you need me.   - Sandy -

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

 

Feeling Sorry for Myself???

I think yesterday was kind of depression -- feeling sorry for myself. Why? I'm losing weight, I'm eating well and not feeling deprived. I have no conscious reason for feeling down, but I did. I actually went to bed at 7pm last night.   But today is another day! I got up, drove up here, and worked out for a good hour between weight lifting and the elliptical so I feel pretty good. My fitness buddy called in sick today from work (we work together) so I'm sure she took advantage of my day off to get her own lol. I am drinking a lot of fluids (still can't tolerate anything else after Monday's fill) and I have more energy.   I feel very lucky to have had the procedure, and have support from the surgeon and staff in getting good fills and good information. I'm lucky to have friends and lap band buddies to provide additional support.   I need to just move myself out of the funk. No good reason for it. Its sunny, and warm and I weigh 50 lbs less than I did at Christmas.   Have a great day everybody! Hugs!   Sandy

sandradee0124

sandradee0124

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