Sosewsue61

This advice may have already been given, but here goes. Join some hobby or trade groups that might interest you. Like dancing, fishing, biking, something at the local park district. Take a class at a community college in woodworking, pottery, computers, anything. Learn to golf, ride a motorcycle, archery, ride horses. The goal here is to just meet more people, expand your network so to speak.
When I stopped looking for a date, he practically landed on my doorstep - 21 years ago and I had been married before for 18 years, divorced, had 4 teenagers, and all. I stopped looking and started having fun.

Was just checking in and updating some of my photos, I'm 12 years out from my first surgery and 4 years out from my revision.

One month out might be tricky in finding something that agrees with the stage you are in. Take your cute water bottle and bring crystal light singles, have some Protein before you go in, then you won't feel so tempted. There are protein chips and similar items like cheese crisps that you might be able to tolerate. Warning - the smell of them made me nauseous.
But here is the kicker... this is an old habit that might need to go. The association of food and movies is something to thibk about. I have the same issue here at home - my husband 'junks' it up while we watch movies. I have a serious love of popcorn, and I can quickly be in trouble with it.... I had to stop watching movies with him for awhile until I could handle not eating at all during a movie. Snacking is a meal, not a snack - of course this is further out in your journey. Right now you have to eat many times just because you cannot consume very much. Good luck.

One month out might be tricky in finding something that agrees with the stage you are in. Take your cute water bottle and bring crystal light singles, have some Protein before you go in, then you won't feel so tempted. There are protein chips and similar items like cheese crisps that you might be able to tolerate. Warning - the smell of them made me nauseous.
But here is the kicker... this is an old habit that might need to go. The association of food and movies is something to thibk about. I have the same issue here at home - my husband 'junks' it up while we watch movies. I have a serious love of popcorn, and I can quickly be in trouble with it.... I had to stop watching movies with him for awhile until I could handle not eating at all during a movie. Snacking is a meal, not a snack - of course this is further out in your journey. Right now you have to eat many times just because you cannot consume very much. Good luck.

Cheating is not a solution to your problem. Listen to yoyrself - go reread your post a few times. - While you are fat, you seek less attention and have no problwm being faithful. You fear more attention will lead to cheating. You sound like getting excess attention is the problem. The problem is in your head, your upbringing, or both. You need counseling to sort this out, it could be a high libido or it could be an addiction or other problem.
If you are committed to your marriage, you DON'T CHEAT period, regardless of libido.
Self-sex.
But you could be using this libido thing because you secretly want to cheat, better examine this closer.

Cheating is not a solution to your problem. Listen to yoyrself - go reread your post a few times. - While you are fat, you seek less attention and have no problwm being faithful. You fear more attention will lead to cheating. You sound like getting excess attention is the problem. The problem is in your head, your upbringing, or both. You need counseling to sort this out, it could be a high libido or it could be an addiction or other problem.
If you are committed to your marriage, you DON'T CHEAT period, regardless of libido.
Self-sex.
But you could be using this libido thing because you secretly want to cheat, better examine this closer.

Cheating is not a solution to your problem. Listen to yoyrself - go reread your post a few times. - While you are fat, you seek less attention and have no problwm being faithful. You fear more attention will lead to cheating. You sound like getting excess attention is the problem. The problem is in your head, your upbringing, or both. You need counseling to sort this out, it could be a high libido or it could be an addiction or other problem.
If you are committed to your marriage, you DON'T CHEAT period, regardless of libido.
Self-sex.
But you could be using this libido thing because you secretly want to cheat, better examine this closer.

Cheating is not a solution to your problem. Listen to yoyrself - go reread your post a few times. - While you are fat, you seek less attention and have no problwm being faithful. You fear more attention will lead to cheating. You sound like getting excess attention is the problem. The problem is in your head, your upbringing, or both. You need counseling to sort this out, it could be a high libido or it could be an addiction or other problem.
If you are committed to your marriage, you DON'T CHEAT period, regardless of libido.
Self-sex.
But you could be using this libido thing because you secretly want to cheat, better examine this closer.

Cheating is not a solution to your problem. Listen to yoyrself - go reread your post a few times. - While you are fat, you seek less attention and have no problwm being faithful. You fear more attention will lead to cheating. You sound like getting excess attention is the problem. The problem is in your head, your upbringing, or both. You need counseling to sort this out, it could be a high libido or it could be an addiction or other problem.
If you are committed to your marriage, you DON'T CHEAT period, regardless of libido.
Self-sex.
But you could be using this libido thing because you secretly want to cheat, better examine this closer.

It's the pants!! Too huge. You however look great!

Cheating is not a solution to your problem. Listen to yoyrself - go reread your post a few times. - While you are fat, you seek less attention and have no problwm being faithful. You fear more attention will lead to cheating. You sound like getting excess attention is the problem. The problem is in your head, your upbringing, or both. You need counseling to sort this out, it could be a high libido or it could be an addiction or other problem.
If you are committed to your marriage, you DON'T CHEAT period, regardless of libido.
Self-sex.
But you could be using this libido thing because you secretly want to cheat, better examine this closer.

This surgery changes hormone levels, and it's a bit rocky for awhile. Our bodies have over 300 hormones, when one or more are altered our moods are greatly affected. And it's used to being insulin resistant - most everyone that is obese is suffering from insulin resistance and inflammation. Now add to that our abuse of food to alter mood, cope, and to socialize and it's a perfect storm. You have to replace those previous 'behaviors' with something else that satisfies those 'needs'. I believe exploring this in therapy or group support is a constructive option everyone needs to do. It is a HUGE process to make these changes, both in your head and physically as we have arrived in this situation after years of living with our collective experiences and relationships with food and people. Be gentle with yourself.
Sometimes it also takes medication, ongoing therapy, exercise, and time. And you can't look back, push on and know that the physical health you get with this surgery is amazing. Good luck.

Yes it felt like drinking aquarium gravel for the first couple weeks. Bone Broth, tea, and also sugar free popsicles.

Yes it felt like drinking aquarium gravel for the first couple weeks. Bone Broth, tea, and also sugar free popsicles.

This surgery changes hormone levels, and it's a bit rocky for awhile. Our bodies have over 300 hormones, when one or more are altered our moods are greatly affected. And it's used to being insulin resistant - most everyone that is obese is suffering from insulin resistance and inflammation. Now add to that our abuse of food to alter mood, cope, and to socialize and it's a perfect storm. You have to replace those previous 'behaviors' with something else that satisfies those 'needs'. I believe exploring this in therapy or group support is a constructive option everyone needs to do. It is a HUGE process to make these changes, both in your head and physically as we have arrived in this situation after years of living with our collective experiences and relationships with food and people. Be gentle with yourself.
Sometimes it also takes medication, ongoing therapy, exercise, and time. And you can't look back, push on and know that the physical health you get with this surgery is amazing. Good luck.

This surgery changes hormone levels, and it's a bit rocky for awhile. Our bodies have over 300 hormones, when one or more are altered our moods are greatly affected. And it's used to being insulin resistant - most everyone that is obese is suffering from insulin resistance and inflammation. Now add to that our abuse of food to alter mood, cope, and to socialize and it's a perfect storm. You have to replace those previous 'behaviors' with something else that satisfies those 'needs'. I believe exploring this in therapy or group support is a constructive option everyone needs to do. It is a HUGE process to make these changes, both in your head and physically as we have arrived in this situation after years of living with our collective experiences and relationships with food and people. Be gentle with yourself.
Sometimes it also takes medication, ongoing therapy, exercise, and time. And you can't look back, push on and know that the physical health you get with this surgery is amazing. Good luck.

This is just my opinion, but going back to basics resets the cravings many of us have from eating higher starchier sugar-laden carbs. It really does reduce that desire and make it easier if you can tough it out for two weeks. But... that is a form of dieting, and can set up a cycle when it's meant to get you physically and mentally back to noticing what you have been consuming that causes the regain. It's mental for sure, but physical too.

I'm finally coming back to the boards after a very long hiatus. Yes, I've had some dreaded regain between health issues, Covid, etc. and decided I need to do some sort of "therapy" even if it is socializing on here again. I admit that one of my main reasons for avoiding coming back here is exactly what you are posting about. I kept telling myself that all I'm going to here is go back to what you used to do, drink water/take vitamins/protein-protein-protein. All goes back to WLS being a tool and if your head isn't in the game you're boned. I know I'm not alone in this, and yes, it's so frustrating, embarrassing, and infuriating to be going back up after all the progress I've made. The elephant in the room is that deep down I know 90% of my struggles are mental. When you've spent 40 some years struggling with bad food relationships that crap doesn't just go away with a smaller stomach.

I agree with you that therapy is hugely necessary for so many of us. I think the reason that people don't suggest it is because so many people get offended and upset by the suggestion they see a therapist or even a dietitian. A lot of people ignore the mental reasons that caused them to overeat in the first place. I fully admit I was a sugar addict who ate candy and sweet things to cope with anxiety and depression but I hear people insist over and over that "I just liked to eat".

This is pretty much what I do as well. I try to respond when I see a 5 lb gain, so I won't have to deal with re-losing larger amounts. I reduce processed foods, reduce carbs, forego off-plan treats, and focus on Protein. In other words I go back to how I ate during the weight loss phase. So far, it works for me.

I fall into the basics work to trim my regain - Water not wine, cheese not with a cracker. When I focus on water and protien I drop the weight. Removing over 30 carb works. Admiring those who do not have to continue the work!

Well I think that when people reach out for help from regain, they're looking for advice from others that experienced regain and what worked for them. Obviously not every approach works for every person but MANY here have found great success conquering their regain. For me, when I had regain and saw my bariatric team, they told me all the things that I knew they would say- do a post opt diet, go back to Protein Shakes, Portion Control, etc. A health issue required me to achieve nutritional ketosis and that's actually what helped me lose all of my regain and more. I conquered the health issue and lost my regain and have maintained over 5 yrs.

Yes i have done that it has helped a little

I'm sorry you're going through this. It sounds like your surgical team definitely failed you. The surgery does change your relationship with food forever. While your surgeon may have overstated things by saying the effects of the surgery only last 18 months, it is true that over time your sleeve will be less intrusive. The restriction eases somewhat and you get to the point where you can eat a small but regular-sized meal with no problem. I'm 2 and 1/2 years out from surgery and I don't have to take tiny bites or sips anymore.
As far as eating "normally", that's not something most bariatric patients aspire to because that's what got us obese in the first place. If you really did go back to eating exactly how you did before, you'd simply gain all the weight back. My program had so many educational requirements that it got irritating, but I can see from your story why they are necessary. I hope you find some peace, particularly as time passes and your sleeve matures. God bless!

I think that these feelings can be very normal! I came out and was like wtf did I do?! It stayed that way for a few weeks. As time went on it got better. Then at about 5 months out, I started with horrible acid reflux. Like shooting out my nose, choking, throwing up in the night half asleep. Then it came back again. The regret. Got that better controlled with meds, it went away. Then started with gallbladder attacks. The regrets returned. Getting that squared away now. Though when I think about it, I would not be where I’m at without the surgery. I am SO MUCH healthier. Down 104lbs from my heaviest. I am off all my meds and insulin. I am just all around in a better place.

I think the regrets come and go, and it’s normal. Sometimes I even get jealous when someone is eating a sundae or ice cream (oh I’ve tried it and I about died so no way)…and those little fleeting thoughts creep in. But overall, Even with bits of regrets, I would do it all over again in a second.