j_war06

LOL! Ive already picked my names out and IDK what Im having yet! lol! Braxton Gage if its a boy (I went to college with a really nice, smart, handsome guy named Braxton, and I liked that name) and Fallon __________ if its a girl (i havent thot up a really good middle name yet)

Wow, Ive never considered being able to afford a private education or having a six figure income middle class.....I grew up middle class, my parents combined dont make a six figure income (its close, but not quite there). I went to public school, had to drop out of college because I am Middle Class, cant afford to pay for college and the government doesnt want to help. I never went without, dont get me wrong, but Im just saying that I wouldnt consider a six-figure income middle-class ??? Upper-Middle maybe

WOW! I totally forgot that I started this thread a long time ago!! Well, since I have moved back to my hometown Ive had pure HELL finding a job!! WOMEN are going over me for thinner candidates! What? Fat makes me lazy? I know over weight people who can get more done in a day than thin people... I definately see the difference in discrimination since Ive moved back. In a city, Im just another person...in my hometown Im a subject of conversation! lol! But now they have something else to talk about...

I really do know whats shes going through. My Dr. recommended that, due to my lack of metabolism, that I need to take in about 500-900 cals a day....If I stick to 500 I would lose weight for a little while, very slowly, then it would stop and I would have to do less and less cals til it got to a point that if I went by that I wouldnt be allowed to eat AT ALL lol! He recommends that I eat a lot of chicken, but strangely enough my band will not accept chicken AT ALL, no matter the restriction, in irony lol! it will accept most of a small burger (which I dont eat often). Ive never been an extremely unhealthy eater, nor did I usually eat in large amounts, but I still would put on weight no matter what. Strange isnt it? My band likes to kick in in the strangest situations...like meals with co-workers or out on a date with a nice guy lol! AND now that Im pregnant it has kicked in fairly decently, I can only get food down at night, but I still watch what i eat. My baby Dr is probably starting to freak out because I havent had any morning sickness but Ive consistently lost weight sense Ive been pregnant! Ive lost like 10-15lbs since I got pregnant. Shes not too worried right now, but she wants me to gain 5lbs (without trying ofcourse) by Dec 3! So Im going to get my band completely unfilled soon. I know how forreste feels for sure, seemse like you do everything that everyone else is doing and even extra and it JUST doesnt work! Its intensely frustrating! I feel like a failure most of the time, especially compared to other ppl who have had their band in a shorter period than I have. Ive lost like 60-70lbs MAYBE over 2 years, I should have lost 100lbs the first year, year and a half (according to my Dr).

My fills are only $100.00 and at another center I consdidered going to in San Antonio it was $150 or $200 I cant remember...$500 is RIDICULOUS! lol! You get enough of those fills and you would have paid as must as Breast Implants! lol! made out of the same liquid, Saline lol!

LOL Ive tried the freakin rabbit AND the bullet AND the mini bullet!!! It has nothing to do with an O. Its the connection so to speak. I like to be kissed and adored and worshipped in a way...maybe its just the attention lol! I should just post naked pics on the internet (KIDDING!!) Its more or less the feeling that Im wanted as a beautiful sexual creature. That Im desired...Maybe its because I NEVER got any attention (as far as getting hit on etc...) in school. I was always the "fat girl". So maybe its just psychological, maybe Im a nympho for different reasons...I realize this, I dont like to O its doesnt feel very good to me (dont get me wrong, every now and then its great) but for the most part I just want to know that I CAN please a man, that I am a real woman....And lets just face it, Im addicted to "the game" and Ive only lost once...but Im still playing and trust me, when Im done it will be 1:1 (I have a few secrets of my own after the case settles lol!) I just need to get back on the Prozac heard that would kill it lol

My ex-fiance is trying to make this claim...that I tricked him....(now that he is with a new woman). HOWEVER he was with me at the Dr when she announced that I was fertile again! Which I can document. Men are not tricked, USE A CONDOM if your going to have sex, but if you dont want any responsibility for a child then DONT HAVE SEX! Simple...I begged him to use a condom, I begged to take my freakin BC! I begged him most of the time not to have sex with me (many times the act took place with tears in my eyes). So no I have no pity for the men who say they were tricked! I understand that it does happen, but I still say there are preventative measures to make sure there are no "mini-mes"

Im a natural blonde (but I usually highlight so that I dont have the dishwater look). Ive had professors pass over my opinions in classes and TOTALLY either ignore my comment OR just not answer my raised hand (sometimes the ONLY raised hand). I knew it was because I was a blond. I lived on the beach, but for some reason I was usually the only blonde (bleach or real) in my Political Science classes. I usually had t prove myself through the first assignment (usually writing) in order to get any respect as a VERY intelligent blonde female! Once they read my writing they paid me a little more respect, but I still would get passed over for a darker haired alternative answer. It usually took me all semester to gain the professor's respect in class. They never docked my grade or anything, just acted like whatever I had to say couldnt possibly be applicable or intelligent, but I was usually the one that would end up solving A LOT of tough political problems in class! I admit that I like to keep my head in the clouds a lot, but thats because Im creative, when Im thinking about something, Im thinking about it from all perspectives all angles etc...NOT WHAT COLOR IM GONNA PAINT MY NAILS THAT NIGHT! UGH! I guess it doesnt help that Ive been referred to as a thicker Paris Hilton. Just because I like to wear heels, full makeup, fix my hair, and wear nice clothes and carry designer handbags and have a pink computer DOES NOT MEAN that Im an idiot, it means that im GIRLY!

I know that my court ordered child support (from the father) will be like 50 bucks a month lol! IF THAT! But by chance in hell and it froze over he was to have custody (purely hypothetical, he cant have custody) I would have to pay out the REAR for child support. At one job I make $50 a day at another I make anywhere from 12-16 dollars an hour! I would have to pay more, even though hes 25, has no education and constant job, I have to work 2 jobs and I go to school. Even when I get my AAA I would have to pay even more because I would be making so much more money. But im sure the court does take it somewhat easier on mothers than fathers, I mean after all we carried it around for 9 months and popped it out of a pretty small hole lol!

I get in trouble for this all the time: I will admit that Im a little afraid of black guys (i do have a few that I am friends with, but ones that I dont know scare me). This is because all throughout school (i went to a 50/50 school) I was either made-fun of or touched constantly by black men. The assistant prinicipals and principals never did anything about it! I had one my Sophomore year tell me (and my boyfriend) that he was going to come to my house and kill my parents and rape me, and he wasnt kidding...He tried to touch me during class one day (ran his hand up my leg and up to my crotch). NO ONE would believe me because I was the overweight white-girl!! They thought I wanted attention....Ive had other occassions (since 3rd grade) where black guys were sexually harassing me, so Im just really on-guard around them...Does that mean I treat black male strangers badly, no, actually Im quite friendly, BUT I dont want them touching me or coming any more near me than needed. So now Im pinned for being racist (being from Jasper, Texas doesnt help either). That doesnt make me a racist...Its all psychological, I was scarred by multiple black guys growing up! I used to have nightmares about it! I just wish people wouldnt judge so harshly.. Oh heres another one I just thought of. According to people that Ive chosen to disclose information to because it was important to our relationship, just because I was raped and didnt report it (because I was scared of possible gang activity), then I must have just been drunk and stupid, so I want people to feel sorry for me for being a whore...yeah that one pisses me off

LOL! I think you just described my hometown lol!!!! And im not kidding, SURE there are us that want better in life, but the majority of people here are exactly that! LOL! I lived in a city and was a four-wheel riding, dope-smoking (NOT ANYMORE, THOSE WERE MY CRAZY DAYS), and an alcoholic....BUT IVe NEVER EVER been a redneck! lol

Ive been having the same problem (my left hip hurting). I just roll on my back until it subsides...however I usually sleep on my left side anyway....my problem is horrible body aches!! I cant get rid of them, Im light-headed/dizzy, and i think I was running fever today! IDK what going on, the Dr says no kidney infection (that was my first thought). Im actually at work right now (sub teacher) and I only have 3 hours to go, but I feel like Im gonna pass out lol! as long as the kids will just do their crap and leave me alone, Ill be fine, they def dont want to challenge my hormones right now lol

This is my fill issue: I only feel restriction in the morning time, NOTHING goes down...But by night I can eat practically anything I want. This doesnt mean that I do (well anymore lol) but I could if I wanted. This happens whether Im filled or not. So I would go and increase my fill, and increase it, and increase it, until it was practically full...I still wouldnt feel the right amount of restriction...then one day it would ALL kick in and I would puke until I could arrange to see my Dr and could afford to go (no insurance, plus from my hometown its an 1 1/2 drive and from college it was like 9 or 10 hour drive). IDK whats going on, but I wanted you to know that your not the only one having problems with restriction. I havent had a fill in almost a year, and now Im pregnant so I actually need an unfill (although Im eating normally at night, but my fill actually seems to be working since Ive been pregnant). The Dr is just plain rude to me because I havent lost all my weight yet and its been 2 years for me as well. He says things that are so rude like "such a beautiful girl if you would get down to 125lbs" . I took my thin friend with me last time and SHE was offended by the things he said to me, she even admitted to being jealous of me because she feels like Im prettier than she is. Which I had to deal with (ugh! i hate it when ppl say crap like that), but she was offended because people tell her to gain weight and SHE weighs 135lbs! and the Dr wants me to be 10lbs thinner than her! Its soo frustrating, not getting good treatment because Im not a total success story. He acts as if I lie to him about what Im eating, and I dont! I have extremely SLOW metabolism, he knows that, he says its one of (if not the) slowest he's ever seen. Anyways, back on topic, lol, My fills are abnormalish as well and give me problems, so you're not alone

Oh Ive tried all the good ones out there, but the fact that I have to do it myself doesnt work because no matter what fantasy I imagine, it just goes straight back to the fact that Im a woman touching myself in that way, and im a little homophobic in a real way (not a denial way) lol! Im serious I freak out if another woman comes within so many inches of me, it really grosses me out for some reason

Its generally based on income of the supporter and other factors, not gender

Lol I know what you mean, but it doesnt WORK!! UGH! But no, Im not jumping off into that situation, much careful thought has made my common sense work again! lol

I just think its the weirdest thing that my drive suddenly became so high!! It was SOOO weird! Im hoping it will ease off soon, atleast for a while, because I frankly cant get anything done for thinking about it, HOWEVER Im not sleeping as much as I was! lol so Im getting a lot more done, its like an energy boost, but I cant get rid of it once Im done using the energy part...Its kind of funny though, how when I had someone I wasnt that interested in the deed, or atleast not with him, and now that Im pregnant and single (and probably for a long time, I dont like to hop from one relationship to another) I want it all the time! UGH! I should just give in and render in to a special kind of relationship with this guy that Ive known FOREVER! We had something goin on when I met my ex, but we didnt live in the same town anymore, so there was no use in persuing anything further, now that Im back in my hometown lol!! IDK? Its the weirdest feeling ever, Ive never felt such sexual frustration before! I do laugh at it though, just the irony in it all!

OH! It also drives me crazy that because Im a single, never married pregnant 20 year old, then I must be a wh***! And that I should get an abortion because of those things...UM NO! Im 20 years old, I can take care of a child...honestly though, does that make me a you know what? Because I was in a serious monogamous relationship when it happened! HE CHOSE TO LEAVE THE BABY AND ME, I didnt choose that. I also hate that because I was with a guy that was not a very good guy that I must be irresponsible...ummm I didnt know at the time that he was a bad guy, when I found out, I told him "buh bye!" How about just because I go to Jr College, I must not be as smart as everyone else...Well some people have to get a degree to be able to pay for their Bachelors! How about that 2 of my best friends are lesbian, so I must be too?? WTF? lol! I have heard that one before (this does not apply to club entourage where as we did tell one CREEEEEEEPY guy that I was a lesbian and my friend's girlfriend! lol!) OH and just because I hang out at the gay club, and I am CC's #1 fag hag lol!, doesnt mean that you ("straight guy" that can not pick up a girl at a regular bar) can hit on me relentlessly! And sneak up behind me on the dance floor and begin grinding my backside! Did you ever think that maybe I go to the gay club so that I DONT get hit on...P.S. My boyfriend is the bartendar/bouncer right over there -------------> lol! Oh and YES I know I have a rather large, round, perky rear-end....but that doesnt mean that I want you (stranger) to slap, poke, feel, grab it at any given time! And that SUPER applies to you Ghetto Black Guys! (no offense, but thats all that ever do it!) Ok this is for you Mexican Guys, Just because I have blond hair and VERY white skin, doesnt mean I dont know what your saying as you walk behind me on the sidewalk, in the mall, the grocery store, anywhere. NEWSFLASH! I lived in Corpus Christi for a year, I hear you talking about my body! And know everything you are saying. Before Corpus I took 3 years of Spanish and have many hispanic friends who have taught me A LOT!

Lol thanks derrick....PROBLEM IS....Im filing charges against my "partner" lol! As in I dont have one anymore! And getting another one, means some kind of special relationship!!! UGH!!! SO FRUSTRATING! I KNOW HOW A 13 YEAR OLD BOY FEELS NOW!

The most important part to remember about being banded is that it is a tool...you can either use it or not, but it wont go away unless you have it removed...SOOOOOO unlike Weight Watchers or those other diets, you can start back right TOMORROW and MAY not even show any effects from your slip up...Probably most if not all of us here have cheated one way or another...it happens, we all screw up, but Tomorrow is a new day. Ya know? When drug addicts and alcoholics go to rehab they dont have to HAVE that addiction to survive. But WE are addicted to food, something WE HAVE to partake in everyday....How successful would a person addicted to Coke or Alcohol be if they had to take a little 3 times or more a day (depending on the specifics of your eating regimen)??? I heard that on a Discovery Channel special...its not excuse by far, but it makes slip-ups more managable and understandable in our heads. Dont beat yourself up, but realize that the continuence of slip-ups will be a waste of time, money, and sick-feelings.

I just want to say...that I love my gays!! And the only thing they are responsible for is accepting me into their community (although Im a very straight girl) and loving me NO MATTER WHAT! And picketing funerals is just immature, like seriously! How is THAT going to bring the deceased back to life? And last time I checked there are lots of gays in the military (confidential information because they arent supposed to be there) and does that mean that they are committing suicide or killing their fellow soldiers? This man REALLY needs to see a therapist before someone kills him or he kills or seriously injures someone!

lol I hate that people who have been skinny all their lives subconsciously think that all "fat" people look alike....especially girls. I have no idea how many times Ive been spoken to by someone thinking I was some other chunky girl with blond hair! SERIOUSLY! WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! I also hate the stereotype that all people from Jasper, TX (my hometown) are Racist Pigs, that we like hold meetings and drag a black person every once and a while for the hell of it! lol! ummm.....I hate that people assume that I eat alot because Im over weight, or that I make unhealthy food choices, AND then when my skinny best friend and I go out to eat and she orders half the restaurant and a Dr. Pepper then I order either a child's plate or partial serving of something and Water or tea and the waiter looks at use like we are weird...its like she thinks my skinny friend hasnt eaten for a week or pukes it up and I that I go home and gorge out on other food! Not true at all, actually its just the opposite...I usually end up puking or not being able to eat for a while and she goes home and gorges! lol But I also hate it when my skinny friend (the same one) and I go to my Lap Band appts together and all the patients in there look at her like she's a horrible person because shes thin! It makes her feel uncomfortable, but I know how they feel in a way. Its like, "why is SHE here?" Also I hate the fact that because I got pregnant before I reached my goal weight, people who havent met me before think Im like 6 months pregnant and Im only like 3!!! I also hate being passed up by guys because Im bigger, for my skinny friends!!! Not to be conceited, but I know I have a more attractive face and personality (and less psychological problems than her lol) BUT apparently in the world of some guys skinny means perfection, until they get to know her, then they look for any possible way out lol! poor girl! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ASUME ALL BLONDS ARE DUMB AND TELL THOSE STUPID JOKES!!! UGH! Seriously, its okay to refer to being ditzy as having a blond day or blond moment, BUT SERIOUSLY! Im not going to effin drown if you put a mirror in the bottom of a pool or whatever that joke is! MOST of the NATURAL blonds that I know are actually very intelligent in their own way! Its the fakes out there that ruin it for everyone! Also one that deals with my weight...I hate that guys think that I will just screw ANYONE because Im "fat"! Seriously! I have standards too! And 50 year old 5'1'' guys are not in the category! I hate it that because I was a member of a sorority, that I must be a drunken whore that follows frat boys around and that i would sleep with them at any whim because they are in a frat and Im in a sorority! Also we are not stupid and we dont buy our friends! TRUST me we dont all get along ALL the time...If I was going to buy my friends I would pay for more stable ones lol! Also, just because Im bi-polar, doesnt mean that Im crazy! That I will kill you because you say something offensive! UGH!! OKAY THERE ARE MORE BUT IM GONNA STOP.............................................................................................. For now lol

Anyways, I know this isnt really relevant to anything on here, but I just have to get this out! When I first became pregnant I had a low sex-drive, I didnt really even want to consider doing the deed...But now its been like 2 months or so since the last time, and for the past week I have felt like a nymphomaniac!!! All I want is to do "it" lol!!! Its the strangest urge that I cant get rid of, I cant even sleep well at night!!! Its almost all I think about for some reason! Its so weird I went from nothing to everything in like one day!!! I guess part of it is coming from the fact, well the baby had to be made somehow lol! (monogamous relationship btw)...But even with him my drive wasnt very high....However its like its hitting me alllllllllll at once. I have offers lol But I wont act upon them because I dont need that added stress in my life right now...lol I dont even want a real relationship right now, I dont really want any kind of relationship with a guy other than just friends! But OMG! I cant fix this problem.... Thanks to you guys that read through that without going "EW!" And thanks for reading my off-topic post...

I dont necessarily think homeschooling is the answer, number one is because I have to work, other reasons deal with the child's social skills and ability to deal with others and authority that is not its family. The list goes on...plus a couple of my friends were homeschooled and regretted it, not to mention one who was allowed to go to public school once he reached his junior year. He was supposed to be a senior with me, but because of homeschooling,he was held back a year. I went to public school, and I know that I did not get the quality education that I could have gotten had my parents been able to afford the other options...not to mention the fact that I just absolutely do not agree with the way public schools are being run. I am a substitute teacher in my old school district, and things have changed sooooo much. The kids are so much more behind than my class was at those age levels. I also dont agree with all the disciplinary measures taken at public school.

What's so bad about boarding school?? (i know this is off-topic but i want to know)....I hope that Im almost finished with my degree by the time my child goes to school...I was considering either a private school or boarding school....BUT NEVER PUBLIC SCHOOL!