nyxa

thank you for sharing your story! i'm so sorry you are having to go through this. i hope everything will turn out for the best for you! bless your heart!

Please note that I am posting in the "RANT" section and avoid this if you don't want to read my tantrum.
OK so this surgery sucked royally for me. The pre-op diet was challenging to say the least. (Fat chick trying to muster up enough self control to eat only Protein powders for 2 weeks---give me a break) Then I go for surgery day and my heart stopped beating when they inflated my abdomen. Chest compressions, followed by panic resulted in my surgery being canceled....I was fine with that. A week later we try again....(please note that this required an additional week of the pre-op diet---grrrr.....) and once again--heart refused to cooperate. Took some extra hands and enough drugs to kill a horse, but I was sleeved. Because the surgery ran really long and my heart rate was low, I wasn't given anything for pain after surgery. They brought me to the room in so much pain that I was unable to see. (Seems if you are in enough pain your brain will start to shut down--vision goes first.) After the longest 4 hours of my life we finally got the pain under control.....sleep 2 hours.....then they want me up in a chair. OK. I can tough it out now. However every time they moved me I blacked out. It took forever for them to get me into the chair and I was terrified of blacking out--falling--and injuring myself.
Forward a few days--I am out of the hospital and in a lot of pain. Severe sharp shooting pains in my upper chest and left shoulder---plus I can't get fluids down. Back to the hospital I go for tests and fluids. A few days later (9 days post-op) my drain is removed---I pass out and wake up with most of the pain gone. Seems the drain was on a nerve and that was causing the pain.
Now I know that this could all be worse. But for the amount of pain--strike that---agony I experienced during those first two weeks after surgery I should have done my fair share of suffering. It still hurts to eat and drink--but I am managing. I can only get in 500 or so calories a day--at the most. Most days it is more like 300. By this past Friday I had lost 18 pounds. Then, I stopped. Now, 5 days later, I have GAINED 4 pounds back. How is that even freaking possible? I know 3 week stall....water weight....liver replacing glycogen..... menstrual Fluid retention...blaugh blaugh blaugh..... I AM PISSED....and rather disheartened. I told people that I was having the surgery done--now I am the go-to person for all those in my world thinking about WLS......but you know what---I AIN'T YA POSTER CHILD. This whole experience has thus far sucked in a big big way. Maybe I will lose and in a few months be glad that I had it done, but right now I refuse to encourage anyone to do it. What I tell them now is that they need to understand that this is a MAJOR surgery and they need to be prepared for complications. I also tell them they need to go to the support group because I haven't been sleeved long enough to be a good resource. That is the most positive I can muster up. I would really like to tell them that, at this point, I am not real thrilled about my choice and am hanging on and hoping for a change in my point of view.

i'm feeling a lot the same way as you.. also sorta feeling like... "i can do this on my own, i just need to get my head right." but i figured i would still learn all i can about this, just in case i fail... AGAIN... lol and then at the same time, i am like "if you could do this on your own, you'd be skinny and gorgeous by now! not fat and flabulous!" lol
and then i think.. as fat as i am, i can't really afford to fail again.. so.. maybe i DO really need this surgery. it can help me where i've failed all my life.. then i go back to making up reasons why & how i can do this on my own.. and back to this.. and so on.. lol
unlike you, i am scared of not waking up from the anasthesia.. cause that's happened to someone in my family & i wonder if it'd happen to me..
i'm weird (or at least feel weird) because i wonder what they will do with my stomach if i have the surgery.. and as weird as it may seem, i also think "can i take it home with me?" lol not to have a weird keepsake or anything, but because it's mine.. damnit! i was born with it, i wanna take it to the grave! not have it in some mysterious place that i have no idea what will happen to it or who's body parts it'll be mixed with... lol
i think wondering about all this stuff is normal... and put it into perspective.. at least you're not the one who said she wants to take her stomach home with her... so.. i guess you're pretty well off. LOL

LOL one thing i find kinda amusing about this place is how easily y'all can part with body parts.. if my doctor told me he wanted to remove my gallbladder, i'd be like... you better not be getting slash happy inside my body.. i want as many parts as i was born with as possible.. i even still have my tonsils! lol these things are here for a reason! why remove something unless it's absolutely necessary?.. and if one doctor told me i needed to have something removed, i'd be getting 2nd and 3rd and 27th opinions.. freaks me out to think of getting rid of body parts... like.. HEY! i NEED that!.. i know someone on the black market that could use one of those!!! lol (the last sentence is a joke, of course)

i'm just curious. i've read some people say between 700-900
i used to bodybuild & was a competetive athlete.. all my trainers and nutrition people and doctors always said that you have to get in 1500-2000 calories a day.. and that you can damage your body if you go below that.. because of starvation & it causes your body to put on weight & etc.. so if that's the case, how does wls work? lol i mean, that last bit is a rhetorical question.. but for so long it's been drilled into my head that you have to eat xyz amount of calories, Protein and blah blah..
so i'm curious how many calories you have per day, on average, as well as your other nutrients.. like carbs, protein, fat, sugar, etc.. what are your personal limits or guidelines that your doctor wants you to follow?
if you can't put an exact number, that's okay.. can you please guesstimate?
thanks for your time!

you could also see a dating coach.. he or she could help you get back into the swing of things and help you gain more confidence when you're out & about there's also books on the topic, if you'd prefer to do the self-help route watching some dating shows could help, too.. like millionaire match maker or something like that.
i'm sorry you're getting a divorce, but i'm happy that you're about to be a free woman! since you're not "the fat girl" anymore, you have an amazing opportunity to go out & experience different people and eventually get someone that you REALLY like and want to be with and are totally, physically attracted to! and like COsleeveDude said, you can do all the stuff you never got to do as a fat girl.. wear sexy (yet classy, of course) dresses, go clubbing, etc.. maybe even do the cougar thing if that's what you're into. lol get you some arm candy shoot, that's one thing i'm looking forward to! LOL not necessarily having sex & all that, but that i'll be attractive enough to actually get some hot dudes!
don't be afraid to step out there into the unknown.. at least get your toes wet, so you can say you tried it.
wish you the best!

Pretty much eat 900 to 1300 calories a day. I guess I shouldn't have lost my weight if I was in starvation mode. Hummmmmm....... it's a fallacy.

60-70 g Protein.
40ish g carbs
800 calories....
All I can say that it really doesn't make sense when people say if you dont eat you won't lose weight. If that was the case then no one would ever die of starvation.

too bad it doesn't boost your eye sight and hearing.. lol i'd be like hells yes, where do i sign? lol wls makes you superhuman! lol xD
thank you guys for your honesty.. and for the lol's! some of you trying to phrase things politely was so funny.

I was a former college football player, and I got sleeved after a player I know had bypass two years ago. He's in the best physical shape of his life, and hits the gym all the time. We were the same weight at surgery time so I'm hoping for the same results. I'm still two weeks out from being able to hit a weight room again.
We could both dunk at 300 lbs (at 18 and 20 years old), and now he's 30 and 195 and not only can he dunk again, he can show up 18-19 year olds with his ability to jump.
In short..., you can have the muscle mass you want to have, and be as athletic as you want to be.

I only told my closest friends and my parents. I felt embarrassed at first, like I was taking an easy way out. However after going through this whole process, I don't feel that way about it anymore.

I haven't had surgery yet, as a matter of fact I won't even get a date until September (so maybe october surgery. )
However, I'm 5'5" @ 220 and am built pretty solid. Therefore, every time I mention WLS to anyone I get some sort of BS response:
You're not big enough to have surgery ~ I'm 90+ lbs overweight
All you need to do is excercise ~ I have a gym membership and I use it as much as my asthma will allow.
Calories in = Calories out ~ I eat 1500 cal or less daily therefore (in theory) my max weight should be 150lbs.
Have you tried cutting out the bad stuff ~ I don't EVER drink soda, don't eat fried food, don't use salt, drink skim or 1% milk...what else would you like me to do? (all due to other health problems)
It's frustrating to say the least and I just want to scream at them that this is my last resort, not my first option. I've done my research I've modified my lifestyle. I'm not doing this to just be skinny, I want to be healthy.
Regardless, now that I've made the decision to have it done, I just tell people that "I'm still considering it but I have other things to do first." When the time comes to actually get it done all everyone will know is that I'm out on vacation.
Your final decision is yours to make and I hope that you find support. If not, WE are here for you.

I have told my husband and sons and one co-worker. The only reason I told my co-worker is because he is having the sleeve done as well on October 23rd. I have told no one else. My in-laws will know AFTER the surgery takes place. They will NOT be supportive at all.
I feel it is a private decision and no one needs to know. We are entitled to our right to privacy and I will use that. No one would support me at work.
I may feel differently closer to the surgery or post-op. I doubt it, though.

Well.. As sometimes happens, I had this post all typed out and then I lost it. Ain’t that the pits? :-/
I could call these progress shots, or I could call these goal shots as I am 9 lbs away and I am so happy that I feel like I am already a success story, Even though occasionally I still see “Fat Heather” in the mirror, I see her less and less with every passing day. I am only a week and a half away from my surgiversary and I think these are the first “progress pics” I have posted.
Let’s start with the stats.
I started this journey:
Weighing: 302.4 lbs
Wearing: Size 24W pants, 2X shirts
Waist: 50"
I am currently:
Weighing: 164.4 lbs
Wearing: Size 10 pants, M shirts (I think with a tuck I could wear an 8)
Waist: 25"
I have lost 5 ft. total from my bust, waist, and hips alone. I still have a nice, ample 34DD bust and my waist is 25 inches. I am so proud of this, let me tell you.
I also started married and am now divorced. Funny how that happens.
Anyway, enough jabbering before the pictures, but after I will share some NSVs I posted in another thread so maybe stick around to read those?
I guess I should start with those dreaded befores.. The first few in the dark bar are from either late July or early August of 2011 and the last is from September 2nd, 2011 with my sleeve sister on sleeve day.
Before:



Now for the afters (these are WAAAAY more fun!):
August 20th, 2012 (164.4 lbs)

August 4th, 2012 (Idk.. Maybe 170?)


Father's Day 2012 (183 lbs!)


About 25 lbs ago, I was carried around piggy back for the first time since childhood... All around my house. It was the most amazing feeling ever!

21 lbs ago, I got the courage to post the bathing suit picture 2 up on FACEBOOK!!
I can shop for panties and bras at VS..
I think I look my age more now (26), I think.
I wear my 4 and 5" heels with EASE!!

I can sit on my BF's lap and not ever worry about hurting him.

I have freaking defined collarbones! Not the scary kind, but defined and I love them.

I fit into EVERY chair, usually with room to set my purse next to me.. This is sometimes not the case.

I think by the time I hit goal and have my plastics, my measurements will be very, VERY close to 36-25-36.

Men ask for my number in bars and clubs.

I get carded more often.

Doors are opened more often.

I am 110% more confident at work.
Well, (in the words of Forrest, Forrest Gump) That's all I have to say about that! Thank you for reading and viewing and (possibly) commenting.
xxoo
Heather (GemInTheRough, soon to be JustAGem)

i recommend a few toys, too. not just the vibrating kind.. try some made from natural materials.. personally, i love the glass & metal ones.. they're very easy to clean & last forever. they've also got nice ceramic ones and wooden ones.. lol
this would also be a great time to start practicing your vagina kung fu. xD weight train with your business & do kegels with vaginal weights or barbells inserted & by the time you get to goal (or whatever) and are confident in finding a guy, he'll be in for a big (pleasant) surprise. lol
of course toys are not the same as a dude, but you can manage your horniness a bit better.. til you become more comfortable & whatnot.. and it's always better if YOU know yourself better, because it's easier for a guy to please you, since you'll know more of what you like & want. and things change as you drop weight! expect to be bouncing off the walls before long. LOL when i was thinner, i sure did! xD even as a fatty, guys can't handle this! LOL

i recommend a few toys, too. not just the vibrating kind.. try some made from natural materials.. personally, i love the glass & metal ones.. they're very easy to clean & last forever. they've also got nice ceramic ones and wooden ones.. lol
this would also be a great time to start practicing your vagina kung fu. xD weight train with your business & do kegels with vaginal weights or barbells inserted & by the time you get to goal (or whatever) and are confident in finding a guy, he'll be in for a big (pleasant) surprise. lol
of course toys are not the same as a dude, but you can manage your horniness a bit better.. til you become more comfortable & whatnot.. and it's always better if YOU know yourself better, because it's easier for a guy to please you, since you'll know more of what you like & want. and things change as you drop weight! expect to be bouncing off the walls before long. LOL when i was thinner, i sure did! xD even as a fatty, guys can't handle this! LOL

yes, so when was it that you were taking me with you somewhere?.. LOL jk
that post makes me SOOOOOOOOOO happy, though! i love traveling & sampling food! how awesome! YAY! lol
and congrats on the weight loss! that's AWESOME!
mind if i am nosy & ask what you do that allows you to travel? or was it just vacation time? (my apologies if that is too personal or rude, it wasn't intended to be, am just curious)

Being able to be normal or return to a semblance of normalcy is something that concerns most of us. Tha k you for this update, we needed to hear it.

I have not told many, Family(dad, mom, sister, son) my boyfriend and my best friend. I did not even tell work, with all the paperwork it went straight to Coorprate and said adominal surgery. I partly just said I did not want to talk about it, others I let them know I needed my gallbladder removed, which is true I was having both done. It would depend if you feel your family will stand behind you. Remember who you tell usually tells others. I made it clear to the few I told I do not want others to know. I do know my mom told a few family members, I had to threaten her STOP, in a nice way! She did not think it was a big deal. I reminded her it was my choice on who I wanted to know. Yes people would notice me losing weight, but I had for 2 months already started trying to lose weight and walking, eating right, all that stuff!
Small bump but she understood.
Good Luck

Ever since I started thinking about a sleeve, my biggest worry was, "Will I be able to lead a normal life again?". I see that question asked a hundred different ways in this forum. Let me add my experience.
I should mention that "normal" for me looks different than "normal" for most Americans. I get to a lot of places, and eat a lot of different foods. I was terrified that I would not be able to function in that lifestyle.
Today is my 6 week anniversary, and life started getting back to my "normal"
I am writing from my hotel in Singapore.
On this trip I have survived 3 airline meals, and 3 formal hosted Chinese dinners with 5 to 7 courses. I managed to get through it without insulting my kind hosts, or throwing up, I actually had some wonderful little morsels. I hit all of my Protein targets with 3 conventional meals and one Protein Bar a day. I didn't have to make a bunch of dietary demands, pack a ton if supplies, or turn my hotel into a "shake factory".
Tonight I had a few treasured hours to myself, so I went to my favorite Hawker Center where I have spent many hours sitting with friends and locals surrounded by the smoke and clamor of a bunch of busy Satay stands.
I managed to eat a few of my favorite Satay and some of my favorite Sambal Stingray.
I just wanted to assure people that life post-sleeve does not have to be bleak or ordinary. These are actually "soft" foods. (OK the satay is marginal but I get promoted next week).
I really miss the cold Tiger Beer that goes with this meal, but I know I will back to that eventually. In the mean time I am down 53 lbs and feel great.
This has been a great life-altering decision for me, and I did not have to give up much at all.
I hope the attached photos make it through.
Sent from my iPad using VST

Most of us get to what we affectionately term "a new normal." Your body will undergo some pretty serious changes in the first few weeks, but let's face it, we've just lost 85% of our stomachs and are dropping weight like fiends. There's going to be some fallout from that (horrid breath, hot/cold sweats, nausea, whatever). Believe me when I say it's pretty much forgotten after those first few weeks. Good hydration and expansion of the diet slowly over time solves some of these.
Yes, we get "back to normal." I eat normal food, still have great volume restriction from my sleeve, and am kind of amazed to be in maintenance and maybe still slowly getting to my "final" goal of 175--my dietician's goal for me was 212, my first personal goal was 190, and now I'm aiming for 175, but I'm 100% happy where I am. My husband and I are both sleevers, and we definitely have what I would term a "normal" eating style--it's not a "TYPICAL American diet," because that's what got us into trouble the first time, but it's normal, healthy food in normal, healthy portions. We choose to eat more healthful food now because it makes us feel great, and it doesn't feel like "a diet" or like we're depriving ourselves of anything. It's kind of a celebration, in a way.
And "feeling normal"? NO! I feel BETTER than normal. Energy, mood, sense of optimism, all GREAT.
Good luck to you!

I told my husband, adult children and my best friend-all have been very supportive. I felt I had to tell my employer since I work for a small family-owned business and I needed to take off two weeks. I wish I hadn't, they are all slender (genetically) and they've made some nasty comments about "fat" people that really offend me. I hesitate to offer any more information than I have to, but they don't get WLS at all. I've been asked if I was going to get some exercise rather than just starve myself! I was only 2 weeks post-op and wasn't cleared to exercise other than walk, and I was following my surgeon's diet to the "T". They've also commented that all obese people need to do is learn portion control! God, they are so ignorant! They may be thin and attractive on the outside, but they are nasty and ugly on the inside! I think once I've lost some more weight and feel more confident, I'll be job-hunting!
My advice, tell only those you have to tell.

Ugh! That's awful! I'm sorry that was your experience. Some people shouldn't work in healthcare. I would ask for a different tech. I would also call the lab and report them to the office manager. They shouldn't be lying to you like that and bedside manner is a huge deal. We have surveys to rate the patients experience. The scale is 1-5. If there are ever 3's or lower, they call the patient. If you still get crappy care from the OM, try another lab if available.
Also, if you do have to go back there for CPAP, make sure you try out the different style masks. I tell my patients all the time that just because you are claustrophobic, it does not mean you will definitely like nasal pillows because they are minimal. Often, a full face mask ends up being preferred because you have the option to breathe with your mouth. Also, don't let them shove you into a full mask because you mention you are a mouth breather unless it's the one you want to wear. Half the time, all you need is a little extra air and your mouth will close.
Good luck in the future. Don't stand for sub-par care! It's not the norm and shouldn't be tolerated!

ohhh.. you poor girl, NDN_RN... *smh* jeez.. that must have been really embarrassing.. you poor girl!
lol it's nice to know that we're not alone in having these horribly terrible embarrassing moments.. kinda feels like a relief to tell someone about 'em & get it off your chest. lol

COsleeveDude.. you sound like the lady from The Hunger Games... May the odds be ever in your favor! lol you're right, though.
also.. if you got the sleeve & then got to goal & then moved away.. how cool would that be?.. you'd have a totally new life!