I'm in the middle of my 90 day Aetna Pre-Op requirement. I'm starting to feel maybe I'm kidding myself. Here are some of the questions I'm asking myself..... did some of you who had a BMI over say 45 (I'm a 46 BMI) feel similar?

Why oh why would this work for you.... you are just fooling yourself if you believe this will work for YOU. Yeah, it works for them but they must not be as screwed up as you or they must have more willpower. They have SOMETHING that YOU don't. Do you reaaaallly think you'll lose enough weight to be normal? Come on, Dana...get real -- that is a pipe dream... You've been morbidly obese most of life...you think suddenly you're going to be riding a bike and hiking, swimming and playing tennis? HA!

NAUSEA: I'm highly prone to nausea and I am scared to death that I will have to live with is 24hours a day and I really think I'd rather be fat than live with nausea.

I'm not really concerned about the actual risks of surgery. I'm worried about being a failure and I'm extremely worried about nausea. And I am worried about how I'm going to get down the required Protein shakes.... Pain I can handle.

i'm feeling a lot the same way as you.. also sorta feeling like... "i can do this on my own, i just need to get my head right." but i figured i would still learn all i can about this, just in case i fail... AGAIN... lol and then at the same time, i am like "if you could do this on your own, you'd be skinny and gorgeous by now! not fat and flabulous!" lol

and then i think.. as fat as i am, i can't really afford to fail again.. so.. maybe i DO really need this surgery. it can help me where i've failed all my life.. then i go back to making up reasons why & how i can do this on my own.. and back to this.. and so on.. lol

unlike you, i am scared of not waking up from the anasthesia.. cause that's happened to someone in my family & i wonder if it'd happen to me..

i'm weird (or at least feel weird) because i wonder what they will do with my stomach if i have the surgery.. and as weird as it may seem, i also think "can i take it home with me?" lol not to have a weird keepsake or anything, but because it's mine.. damnit! i was born with it, i wanna take it to the grave! not have it in some mysterious place that i have no idea what will happen to it or who's body parts it'll be mixed with... lol

i think wondering about all this stuff is normal... and put it into perspective.. at least you're not the one who said she wants to take her stomach home with her... so.. i guess you're pretty well off. LOL

You are not alone, I am having the same thoughts and feelings- my surg date is sept. 17th.

I'm in the middle of my 90 day Aetna Pre-Op requirement. I'm starting to feel maybe I'm kidding myself. Here are some of the questions I'm asking myself..... did some of you who had a BMI over say 45 (I'm a 46 BMI)

Why oh why would this work for you.... you are just fooling yourself if you believe this will work for YOU. Yeah, it works for them but they must not be as screwed up as you or they must have more willpower. They have SOMETHING that YOU don't. Do you reaaaallly think you'll lose enough weight to be normal? Come on, Dana...get real -- that is a pipe dream... You've been morbidly obese most of life...you think suddenly you're going to be riding a bike and hiking, swimming and playing tennis? HA!

NAUSEA: I'm highly prone to nausea and I am scared to death that I will have to live with is 24hours a day and I really think I'd rather be fat than live with nausea.

I'm not really concerned about the actual risks of surgery. I'm worried about being a failure and I'm extremely worried about nausea. And I am worried about how I'm going to get down the required Protein shakes.... Pain I can handle.

I was 49+ BMI when I started...today I am 40.3 I think it is. Down 65 pounds today. Yes it is hard and yes I have a lot of nausea. I'm on my 9th week out and down 65 lbs. Pain lasted about 5 weeks before I started to feel "normal" except eating. I still have alot of nausea and hard time eating out. I won't eat anything without turning the container around and look at calories. If its over 230-250, I put it back. But in all reality, even if its 300, I won't eat maybe a third of it. Spicy things about kill me. I stay thirsty all the time. I ALWAYS have a glass of ice Water with me. Not because I have to but because I want it. It's a "need" for it constantly. No other drink satisfies me. It is discouraging being this overweight and my clothes - depending on the name brand- still say 2x or 22...but in other I wear XL and 18W. My mom said something that made sense...when you get home cut out the tag! As long as they fit and you feel nice and pretty and comfortable in them and know you couldn't have worn them 5 months ago....smile and go on. People are just now making comments.

The preop diet was horrible and I pretty much quit eating by the end of week two. Just drank milk and went down like 15 pounds still.

But after all is said and done...this IS life changing and not for everyone. Make sure you are mentally ready for what you gain and what you lose in life.

I wish you all the luck in the world in making this decision.

Angie

Its normal, I had all the same thoughts. I went through the Kaiser program back in 2004 for gastric bypass and talked myself out of it. I thought I could do it all on my own, and for a while it worked. I slowly lost weight over the years. Finally I got tired of being hooked up to a CPAP machine, taking medications, and being dependent on food. I decided that the risks of surgery were worth it. I even tried talking myself out of having surgery the day it happened because I was afraid of not waking up or worse, waking up in the middle of the procedure. The nausea afterwards was minimal for me, maybe I was lucky. Make sure this is what you really want.

i'm feeling a lot the same way as you.. also sorta feeling like... "i can do this on my own, i just need to get my head right." but i figured i would still learn all i can about this, just in case i fail... AGAIN... lol and then at the same time, i am like "if you could do this on your own, you'd be skinny and gorgeous by now! not fat and flabulous!" lol

and then i think.. as fat as i am, i can't really afford to fail again.. so.. maybe i DO really need this surgery. it can help me where i've failed all my life.. then i go back to making up reasons why & how i can do this on my own.. and back to this.. and so on.. lol

unlike you, i am scared of not waking up from the anasthesia.. cause that's happened to someone in my family & i wonder if it'd happen to me..

i'm weird (or at least feel weird) because i wonder what they will do with my stomach if i have the surgery.. and as weird as it may seem, i also think "can i take it home with me?" lol not to have a weird keepsake or anything, but because it's mine.. damnit! i was born with it, i wanna take it to the grave! not have it in some mysterious place that i have no idea what will happen to it or who's body parts it'll be mixed with... lol

i think wondering about all this stuff is normal... and put it into perspective.. at least you're not the one who said she wants to take her stomach home with her... so.. i guess you're pretty well off. LOL

I'm laughing out loud at your post! As far as I'm concerned they can take my stomach and burn it...hell, I think having a little ceremonial burn right there in the OR would be great. That damn thing has been the bane of my life..

I finally came to the realization that I cannot do it on my own. I have literally tried for 40 years. I just want an opportunity to live a normal life -- not just living physically a normal life but mentally normal too. Every one of my thoughts and decisions is filtered through my FAT. I can't take it anymore...I just want to be normal.

Ditto! I don't have to be rail thin. I just wanna get out of the Women's Department! I don't want to avoid booths, chairs with arms, stairs, etc. I don't want to wonder constantly what people are saying about me! I just want to be average. That's not too much to hope for is it?

I'm also in my 90 days with Aetna. I'm hoping for a December surgery. You?

Ditto! I don't have to be rail thin. I just wanna get out of the Women's Department! I don't want to avoid booths, chairs with arms, stairs, etc. I don't want to wonder constantly what people are saying about me! I just want to be average. That's not too much to hope for is it?

I'm also in my 90 days with Aetna. I'm hoping for a December surgery. You?

Hi Raven,

Yep, what I want most is to be basically invisible. Sounds crazy but I just want to blend in and no longer stand out....

My 90 days is up Nov 13 and I'm hoping for surgery at the end of November but that may be pushing it because of Thanksgiving. I wish I would have come to this decision a few months sooner.... My husband is from New York City and we are going to spend Christimas with his family. My in laws have not seen me since I've gained 40 pounds and I'm sick over having to see them even fatter than I was before.

I was 49+ BMI when I started...today I am 40.3 I think it is. Down 65 pounds today. Yes it is hard and yes I have a lot of nausea. I'm on my 9th week out and down 65 lbs. Pain lasted about 5 weeks before I started to feel "normal" except eating. I still have alot of nausea and hard time eating out. I won't eat anything without turning the container around and look at calories. If its over 230-250, I put it back. But in all reality, even if its 300, I won't eat maybe a third of it. Spicy things about kill me. I stay thirsty all the time. I ALWAYS have a glass of ice Water with me. Not because I have to but because I want it. It's a "need" for it constantly. No other drink satisfies me. It is discouraging being this overweight and my clothes - depending on the name brand- still say 2x or 22...but in other I wear XL and 18W. My mom said something that made sense...when you get home cut out the tag! As long as they fit and you feel nice and pretty and comfortable in them and know you couldn't have worn them 5 months ago....smile and go on. People are just now making comments.

The preop diet was horrible and I pretty much quit eating by the end of week two. Just drank milk and went down like 15 pounds still.

But after all is said and done...this IS life changing and not for everyone. Make sure you are mentally ready for what you gain and what you lose in life.

I wish you all the luck in the world in making this decision.

Angie

Thanks Angie,

Are you happy with your decision? Any regrets?

My BMI was in the 50s. Now it's just under 40 and will one day be under 30. But even if it isn't, I already feel so much better than I have in the last 10 years. Hiked 4 miles today in the woods with my dogs. Tomorrow will be a 20 mile bike ride...I couldn't do these things 5 months ago. I'm planning a rim to floor to rim hiking trip in the Grand Canyon for next spring. My wife has been wanting to hike down there for years, but I never thought I could do it till now. So, what I'm saying is, I already feel like my sleeve has been a success even though I'm only half way to goal. My real goal was to live longer and feel better. I think that should be everybody's goal. In fact, we need a "feels crappy" to "feels good" ticker.

As far as nausea, I haven't had any. The only time I felt sick was when they made me drink that barium crap in the hospital. I tried to throw it up but there wasn't enough there. Since then, no problems. I think the biggest thing that has aided me was I already liked Protein shakes going in, and still do. I've said before, nobody likes those things in the beginning. You have to acquire the taste for them. You get used to them. Then it gets easier.

Dont stress over the Protein Shakes. Make those shakes your b***h.

lmao @ "make those shakes your b***h" xD butterthebean.. rofl. xD

I do have days where I have regrets but I KNOW for a FACT I could not have lost the weight any other ways. I could lose a pound and did lose 88 on low carb but I didn't have the will power to stick to it. With the sleeve, it IS my will power. I have not choice but to eat less. The days I have regrets, I'm mad all day thinking what have I done to myself??? THen I get on the scale and it goes down and thats when I remember why I did it. I have just now started having men open doors for me. Women complimenting me and my husband in his own way starting to pay attention to me. What I didn't expect is such low energy which I think will be ok when I can keep protein down. The days I see someone eat a sandwich and I want one so bad, that is my regret or a piece of cake. Some people say one day...I will be able to eat those things again just in moderation like I should have in the beginning before surgery. I don't have a huge support system so I go to the monthly support group here in town. That helps. My mom makes comments on how I look but like any child...shes my mom...she has too.

Dana, do you know if 90 days is the same as 3 months to Aetna?

If so, mine is up November 17. I figure it will take a week or two maybe for the approval?

So, I'm hoping for late November, early December.

Ditto about the in-laws. I'm afraid they might be coming from Iowa for Thanksgiving.

Good luck to us both on our way to invisibility!

Keep in touch and let me know if you find out anything more about the Aetna situation.

i started at a bmi 55 and now at a bmi 42.9 i feel great. i would go through surgery again in a heartbeat. i have talked to several others who have had the surgery and all are down a significant amount of weight. I wouldn't worry about the weight loss, unless you plan on living on potato chips and slider foods. I am basically a carnivore and occassionally will eat a snack but I mostly eat meat at this point - chicken, seaffod, beef. Today for example I had a chicken breast for breakfast, shrimp for lunch, meatloaf(my family had this for dinner), icecream for a snack. Good Luck you will love the sleeve and odds are very good that you will lose weight.

My BMI was 45 when I started and was higher (53) before I finally opted for surgery. I had high hopes that when they cut out most of my stomach, they'd leave behind a sudden love for exercise but that's not what happened. I still hate it, and will not lie - while I became far more active post op, traditional workouts and sports didn't happen.

I still got to goal. I love the way my body looks and I have no real complaints. Loose skin was a given for me due to the amount of weight lost and a twin pregnancy, so I was prepared for it - and it's mostly around my middle where exercise might not have done much for it, anyway.

Nausea was an issue for me, but only because I unexpectedly developed lactose intolerance post op. As soon as I eliminated the dairy, the nausea went away. The farther out I get from surgery, the more dairy I'm able to consume, though it's likely that ice cream made from milk/cream and cow's milk will always be off limits for me.

I should also note that I had already started exhibiting symptoms of a mild intolerance to dairy prior to surgery, and the sleeve just sped along the natural course of things.

It's normal to second guess. I think at some point, even once we're sleeved, most of us hit a stall or a rough spot and think we'll be the first ever real failure at the surgery.

shakes can be a challenge but I love mine now and still drink one most days. You just have to find a shake you love and liquids you like mixing it with and you'll be fine.

But the sleeve got me to goal and I couldn't be happier. I think once you learn your new normal it's easy to adjust.

Good luck,

~Cheri

Dana - don't be afraid to reach for the golden ring! I had surgery 8 days ago. Went to a support group mtg tonight and some people considering having surgery sat in on the meeting. They asked all of us if anyone regretted the decision to have surgery. There wasn't one person there that had any regrets and some were a couple of years out. Just take it a step at a time. You will never know what hobbies you might enjoy, like tennis, is you don't go for it. You may not like any sports, but oh how much better you will feel! Even if it's a day out shopping!