makemyownluck

Walking supposedly helps with gas pain. Or you can try Gas-X strips. I'm pre-op myself, so I'm really just sharing what I've read around these boards. Hope it helps!

She obviously doesn't get where you coming from, but I can kinda see her as trying to be your ally... I mean, you were having a conversation about something she had also done, but for different reasons. Keep in mind that people rarely see themselves the way others see them. Like you said, you look at yourself in the mirror and think "not bad", then look at those pictures of yourself and say OOF. Well, she may not see a beautiful person when she looks in the mirror. She sees herself gain 4 pant sizes and she feels fat/unattractive/sad, whatever. I mean, we'd be sad if we gained 4 pant sizes, so the fact that she went from size 2 to 6 shouldn't mean she's not entitled to feel like she needs to do something about it. But I get it. We, as big people, know that she's not being looked at as or treated like a fat person is treated. She doesn't understand where you're coming from completely because the world doesn't treat her the way big people are treated. But that doesn't mean she doesn't struggle with it internally or that you both couldn't learn something from each other. I can totally understand where you're coming from feeling hurt by it. But I think you should try just a little not to let your emotions get the better of you. I think from her perspective, you come off looking selfish. I'm not saying you ARE, I'm just saying that might be how she's feeling. Like she shared something with you and you snapped at her. After all, she's not trying to get in shape to make you mad - she's trying to improve herself just like you are. I think if you can get this little bump straightened out, she might actually be a good friend to have as she can help you with exercising more... Anyway, you definitely need to be careful when you share the news of surgery. I'd rather keep it a secret that risk someone saying something that would piss me off - cuz I'd probably react just as you did. I'm only good at seeing both sides when I'm not on one!!

The surgeon said I HAD to have someone to take me home. He said they absolutely will not release me to take a cab.

Thanks for the rational thinking, everyone. It's really hard to put things in perspective when you're in the midst of an argument, so I do appreciate you all for both seeing where I'm coming from and offering practical advice for the situation. Now that I've slept on it, I realize we are both super anxious about what is happening. I'll do what I have to do to make sure my mom can be there for the surgery and hope that insurance doesn't force me to push it back. I've never been a patient person - I'm impatient to a FAULT most times, and this is a prime example. Does putting it back a week or two make a big difference? No, not really. I'm just, as usual, eager to do it as quickly as possible. I mean, if I've been going through these steps since July, a few more weeks isn't that big of a deal... (that's me rationalizing this to MYSELF, lol) I'm going to call my insurance and make sure they have they got my request from the surgeon. So at least I can have some peace of mind that we're moving forward in some way. Then I'll call my mom and apologize for being a monster and hope she can do the same (I wasn't the only one yelling, after all). I also realized that my surgery is on a Thursday and my surgeon said I'd probably be in for 2 nights. So that means I'll get discharged on a Saturday. So, if for some reason I can't get a ride from my parents, finding a friend who can pick me up shouldn't be as difficult as I was imagining. It's also good to know that I won't really need the help once I'm discharged. I'd really rather be at home anyway, so maybe I can reassure my mom that I won't be totally helpless if she has other things to do. I do understand that she has a life of her own and she needs to go on these trips in May so she'll know how to do her job. I don't fault her for that. And I don't want her to think she's failing me because she can't be at my bedside 24/7, especially when I don't really NEED her to be there. While it's convenient to have help, I will be able to do it on my own. Thanks so much for the feedback, guys. I appreciate it!

Thanks mokee. I've been most nervous about being alone and having some sort of accident. I didn't want to really spend more than a few nights at their house anyway (I much prefer my own home), I'm really most concerned with the ride home. The hospital specifically told me they will NOT release me without someone to take me home. Can't go home in a cab - must have someone present to escort me home. And since discharge is in late morning/early afternoon, everyone I know will be at work. Just trying to think who I should ask, is all... disappointed that I'm having such drama with my mom when I'm finally getting close to what she knows I've been working for since last year. :/ But I'll figure it out. I always do!

Well, that was incredibly helpful, Melissa. I live alone. I'm in my 30s. What this has to do with my post, I'm not sure. I'm not postponing my plans. I know I'll be able to walk and stuff. I was just counting on the help. And now I don't have it. It's frustrating and taxing to go through the stress with my mom. I know I'm selfish. If I don't put me first, who else will?

Well, after all this hoop jumping, I'm finally scheduled for May 2nd surgery. It's all tentative pending the insurance approval, of course. I should be jumping for joy, right? Unfortunately, no. My support system through this whole process has been my parents. I've been counting on my mom to help take care of me the first few days home. Well, Friday when we were at the surgeons office, the fight of the century started... The doctor answered our questions then advised that one of his assistants would be back in shortly with my surgery date. As soon as he left the room, my mom tells me that if it's the last week of the month, we have to ask them to push it back because she has work-related things to do at the end of every month. She works for the housing authority and end of the month is their check run, so it can NOT be postponed. I told her that I didn't want to push it back, and that I didn't want to start an argument about it when we didn't even know the date they would give me yet. She persisted, telling me that I just can't do it if it's the last week of the month. Again, I told her to stop, wait to see what day they actually give me. So, to my relief, they come in and say that the end of April is pretty booked, so they gave me May 2nd. I was kinda hoping to have it sooner, but it works out in the long run, so whatever. Well, today Mom calls me after work. She says that she's been thinking about my surgery date and that if it ends up getting postponed because of insurance reasons, that I need them to schedule it for mid-May because the 2nd week of May she has 2 training sessions for work that she has to travel for. I told her again that I have no interest in postponing this because of her work schedule, and this is where that ticking time bomb EXPLODED. My mom went into this whole speech about how I'm completely selfish. That putting it off a few weeks wasn't going to kill me. I tried reminding her again that she's arguing about something that we don't even know is going to happen (i.e. my surgery date being pushed back). I also told her that I really resented her putting it back on me that I'M the selfish one, when she's asking me to postpone this surgery over and over because of things SHE has to do. I've been jumping through every imaginable hoop to get this surgery scheduled since July of last year and she can't seem to understand that I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE. I don't care what I might miss at my OWN JOB while I'm out for surgery, much less do I care what she might miss at work. I just don't. And if that makes me selfish, then I'm totally okay with being selfish. After all, this surgery IS FOR ME. Not her. Not anyone else. FOR ME. I even told her that I didn't mind that she had work related stuff to do. If she really had to go, then she should go. Dad can come with me. "Do you really think he wants to do that by himself?" she asked. "You expect me to concentrate on my training while you're under the knife?" "What if something happens to you and I'm 3 hours away and can't leave because I'm there with coworkers and have no way back to town?" "I'm supposed to ignore the fact that you're having surgery? What if you die?" She actually asked me that. "What if you die and I'm that far from home?" I said, well, gee, Ma, I'll try my best not to DIE, okay? I offered that my dad could take me and/or pick me up from the hospital. She said, "Yeah, Saint Roger isn't going to say no to you..." as if I'm supposed to feel guilty because my dad would do anything for me? Unlike her??? Things got pretty heated in our conversation, and in fact she hung up on me twice throughout it. We're both pretty well versed at getting under each other's skin. Finally, I just told her "Thanks for giving me a month to figure out a Plan B, at least." So then she calls me about a half hour later saying, "So are you going with a plan B even if your surgery date is still May 2nd?" And I told her that I guess I don't have a choice! She's going out of town 5 days after my surgery, so how the heck am I supposed to count on her to take care of me if she's out of town??? She's not considering my needs AT ALL and then turns around and calls ME the selfish one!! I am literally sick to my stomach over the stress of this. I've been crying for hours since this argument took place and it's not even so much because of the argument (sadly, I'm used to it - the whole thing reminded me of high school years all over again) - it's because I DON'T HAVE A PLAN B. I don't have anyone else in my life that I can ask to take care of me. And the way my mom has been acting honestly makes me cringe at the idea of how she's gonna be when I am post-op and hurting. So if I rely on Dad to be Plan B, that means she's gonna be around (when she isn't tied up with work). Can I even rely on her to be helpful post-op? Or is she just going to be a thorn in my side? At this point, I just don't even know what to do. I'm writing this more as a rant, not really expecting anyone to have advice for how to deal with some craziness like this... just had to vent it out. I'm gonna go see if I can dig up some Xanax to help me sleep tonight. I'm wound pretty tight at the moment... I hate Mondays.

The first rule of Fight Club is 'don't talk about Fight Club' I just reread that book this week, so this seems extra funny to me. Personally, I don't know that I'll E V E R want to show my tummy to anyone, so I don't know that I'll need an excuse.

I don't see my family often throughout the year at all, and am really looking forward to having something like this happen to me. I'm hoping for surgery in May and I probably won't see many of my family members til Thanksgiving time. Plenty of time to take off a bunch-a-chunk! Congrats on all you've done so far. nothing like a boatload of compliments from people who really love you to keep you on track!!

the only thing better than a good BM, is a good BM at work. nothing like getting paid for that! hahaha

try experimenting with removing one thing from your diet at a time. I've read plenty about people who have different food tolerances post op. Take one thing out and wait 24-48 hours to see if your symptoms subside. If not, take something else out. Start with anything dairy - lactose intolerance is common after being sleeved for some reason, even if you never were before. Also, gas-x makes strips. Sometimes pills take too long to kick in, the gas-x strips work right away.

lol, SO TRUE!!! I'm just thinking of how much more effective (and entertaining!) the anti-obesity campaigns would be if they promoted this side effect!!

As a woman, I can say that I can't want to see penises growing bigger and longer after I start losing weight too!

Rosehips - I totally hear you on taking your HEAD out of the equation. I did get my butt to the gym the next day, as I planned. I've been working overtime this week, so I haven't gone everyday like I wanted to, but tomorrow is my last day scheduled for overtime, so Friday I will resume going in the morning before work... it is hard to stick to it, tho. At least, it is for me! LaBelle - I agree that it's insane! I'm realllllllllly really hoping that it will move along more smoothly when I'm on the PPO plan. As far as I can tell, I meet all the PPO criteria. When I heard about the 18 month, I almost threw in the towel completely (I've had nothing but problems from day one trying to get this process moving), but I realize that I am worth more than giving up on. If I give up on myself, so will everyone else. Hopefully I can report some happy news soon!

The insurance coordinator at the hospital called me today to discuss my HMOs requirements for bariatric surgery. I meet it all except one part: "Medical documentation that the member has failed a medically supervised weight reduction program for a duration of at least 18 consecutive months" I don't have 18 consecutive months of supervised diet. At best, I have 6 months. Lucky for me, this week is my open enrollment week at work to switch to PPO coverage. The change would be in effect 2/1, so I'm hoping that I can see the doctor shortly after that. In the meantime, I've got my doctor sending my records over to the surgeon anyway, in the hopes that it will speed up my process once my insurance gets switched... really hoping that goes smoothly and I don't have an issue with them verifying coverage right after switching plans. I'm a bit shocked at the amount of diet time that my medical group requires. It's really quite excessive, considering the medical group is with BCBSIL and BCBSIL themselves don't required ANY supervised diet AT ALL. So why is the medical group sweatin' me for that kinda diet??? I was already considering switching to PPO because this whole process so far has been really difficult. I've had so many ups and downs with this and I'm not much further along in this process than when I started back in July. I never understood why people complained about HMOs -- I GET IT NOW. I've had enough, and maybe next year after surgery I can go back to an *** because it's cheaper, but as far as all the BS the *** has already put me through and I'm NOT EVEN CLOSE to getting approved, I think PPO is a much better bet. It might cost more, but my health and my well being is worth any price! Anyway, long story LONG -------------------------------------------- I haven't got much else to update. Still been in a bit of a New Year slump, just tired and cranky and anti-social. Starting to snap out of it, though and really am hoping this year will be my year to shine. I've also still been in slacker mode since the holidays with going to the gym, so I'm sure that's part of the slump also. I'm gonna get my butt there in the morning, though. Time to get this back in motion and keep it moving! HAPPY NEW YEAR! (late, I know - but still sincere)

Juny, I'm sorry that this sounds like something you could have written. I realize I'm not the first person to get depressed in the world, but it does stink to know it happens to other people too. I think loneliness is the most painful of all emotions. There's nothing that I, myself, alone, can do to cure my loneliness. I hope I can get some good news soon. I could use it! Here's to hoping I can actually get some sleep tonight... Thanks for commenting. It's helps to know someone out there is listening.

IDK how far I'm ever going to get in this journey. After my disaster of a consult at the beginning of December, I've been going back and forth with my insurance on getting approved to see a different surgeon, and to say it's been an uphill battle is putting it mildly. I can resume this battle on Thursday since my MD's office is closed until then. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I really had no idea it would be this difficult to get to the operating table - I'm starting to think I never will get there. The holidays are finally over, and losing that stress has really put me in a sad frame of mind. I'm definitely in a slump right now. I feel hopeless in getting my surgery approved/scheduled. I thought I was so close, and I'm nowhere near where I want to be. I feel like giving up, and not just because this has been such a stressful process, but because I no longer see losing weight as a chance to reclaim my life. I've been cooped up in my house for days. I had the luxury of being off from work since last Friday, and I've only left the house one time since. Why? Because I have nowhere to go. Not a single "friend" texted me on NYE, not to invite me out or invite me over or even to wish me a happy new year. Not one single phone call from anyone to see how I have been or ask how I am doing. And yes, I realize I could be the one to pick up the phone, but I have nothing to say... That's probably the reason people don't call me in the first place! Nothing ever changes with me. If someone does ask what I've been up to, the answer is either "Not much" or "Just working." I'm just tired of being alone. Always all alone. No one's on their way here. No one's making plans to see me. No one's got me on their mind... and really, why should anyone be thinking of me? I'm no one's someone special, and I probably never will be. This is my life. You'd think I'd accept it by now. But it still makes me sad from time to time... Pity party for one, over here. I hope that at some point this year, I can be truly happy. And I hope that point comes soon...

What an emotional day. Went to my surgeon appointment today. After waiting AN HOUR past my appointed time, I was taken to a room where I waited another 30m to see the surgeon. She was a bit curt, in my opinion, but my mom said "She was just being a doctor." The good news is that I've lost 12lbs in the last month. Considering I have been sick and not been to the gym in two weeks and Thanksgiving came and went in the last month, I'm pretty excited to see some weight loss. It makes me wonder what my true starting weight was since I was unable to weigh myself for so long. That's about the only good news I got today. :\ My blood pressure was up to 142/75, which isn't horrible, but is worse than it has been the last few times I've been to my PCP. IDK if I should chalk that up to nerves or what. I'll ask my PCP about it tomorrow. The bad news: The surgeon says I'm too heavy to operate on. That my weight and the fat distribution being mostly in my gut makes me too much of a surgical risk. Now, I was kind of expecting to hear something like this... I expected to be told that I needed to lose some weight prior to surgery. But then she said she wouldn't even consider doing surgery until I lost 50 or more pounds. That once I lost 50, THEN she'd put me on the liquid pre-op diet for THREE TO FOUR WEEKS to lose even more weight before surgery. WTF??? So all told I'd lose like 75 or more lbs before I even hit the operating table. That just seems... IDK, excessive to me. Not impossible, but I do feel like it's asking a lot. :\ And not only the amount of weight I'd have to lose being a lot, but also the extended liquid diet just sounds like torture to me. Definitely not what I was hoping to hear. Then I had to go meet with the dietitian, who went over my current diet with me and told me that I'm already on a good eating plan. She suggested more veggies, but told me that otherwise I was doing really well with my diet. And she explained more about post-op (things I already knew). She was much more helpful and compassionate than the surgeon though. She actually suggested I get a 2nd opinion from the other surgeon on staff, mentioning that other people have been told the same thing by the surgeon I saw, then they go see the other surgeon and get scheduled for surgery. That seems so unfair!! I started crying when the surgeon was telling me that I had to lose this weight before she would consider doing surgery, and she said, "Crying won't help you. You should see what I go through in a day, I should be the one crying." What kind of bedside manner is that? Can you just pass a tissue and let a girl cry?? (the answer: no. But the dietitian was nice enough to ask me if I was okay and hand me a tissue) So, I feel rather disappointed right now. I've been doing the diet/exercise thing and trying to prep for this since July, and I feel like I'm nowhere near getting this surgery. I don't know if it's worth the $60 copay, the hour long heavy traffic commute, the parking fees, the gas... to get the 2nd op or just keep going with my diet and schedule a new appointment when I lose 50lbs. This isn't gonna stop me from the diet/exercise plan I've been doing, but I just don't know what to do from here... stay with this dr who upset me? Get a 2nd op? Try to lose 200+ lbs on my own and forget surgery? This visit really has me wondering if this surgery is ever going to be a reality for me. If sustainable weight loss will ever be a reality for me... I hate feeling defeated. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day...

Still in pre-opVILLE - I go to my seminar on Monday. I really hope to learn more about the time frame for everything soon!! I'm a list maker by nature. Since all I can think about lately is my weight loss plan, I've made a list of NSVs I hope to achieve, and made some rewards to go along with them for motivation. I also made a list of scale related victories and rewards for that. Not sure if everyone does this, or just makes one list or the other, or doesn't make a list of rewards - but I'm a lifelong spoiled only-child, and I like rewards. And I need to start thinking about rewards that have absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOD. Anyway, thought I'd share. Hope you enjoy! Feel free to steal any of these. NSV achievement/reward: see my toes - pedicure touch my toes while seated on the floor - new gym shoes lose my double chin - buy a new necklace see my collarbones - buy a new top to show them off run a mile w/o walking - new gym clothes walk up 5 flights of stairs - new shoes (of any kind) *5 flights because I park in a garage 5 flights up. I hate waiting for the dang elevator anyway!! get on an actual bike - go on a bike ride with my Daddy! sit Indian style comfortably - go to a yoga class cross my legs at the knee - buy a dress (for the first time in yearssss) Weight loss achievement/reward: *yes, I have a lot to lose! -50lbs - facial -100lbs - massage -150lbs - Road Trip! (no idea where!) -200lbs - new mattress, new couch and chairs in living room -250lbs - bathing suit and a passport! @ GOAL -------- I'M GOING TO JAMAICA!!! And it will be my first plane ride. I would love to hear any suggestions that anyone has as well! I really can't wait to start checking some of these off!

do you have PPO or H.M.O.? I have bcbsil as well, H.M.O. and I'm wondering what the process is... I got a referral to a surgeon approved, IDK if I have to still get surgery approved beyond that? I used to work for bcbsil PPO for individual plans. I don't think I understand the reason you were denied. Did you get a letter? What did it say? Have you called them?

I'm sure you don't want to wait, but I would if I were in this position. It's not exactly the same, but a position just opened up at my job, a position I've wanted for the past 4 years I've worked there, but I'm not posting for it because I know that I want surgery more. But I'm wouldn't risk my current job to have the surgery, either. I have, however, told my boss about contemplating surgery. She's very supportive... I think you might get more support than you think - and yes, if you're in the US, you are covered by FMLA for 12 weeks per year. If you haven't used any FMLA time for the time off you've already taken, you can still use it now. Talk to HR - you don't have to give them specifics of why your asking for them to tell you how the process works. I guess, I just think if you could put it off until Jan or Feb like you were thinking you'd have to do anyway, then in the long run it's probably better to hold on to your job. Good luck!

get it, girl. Let her be mad about how good you look - beautiful women are always gonna have a hater or two throwing shade around them. You look great!!

thank you all --- I don't know what my Drs office did exactly, but they called me with a referral to a different surgeon. One that does VSG!! So, I'm back on track. I go to the seminar in 2 weeks and then schedule an appointment with the surgeon. I'm hoping the pre-op stuff I've done with my PCP will carry over to the surgeon so I won't have much to do after this.. fingers crossed!

You're familiar with what this surgery is, right Tiffany? They do take your stomach. 85% of it, anyway. You keep your stomach with the bypass. (or band)

So after going all weekend thinking I was going to have to settle for RNY because of my insurance, I got the happy news today that I have been referred to a new surgeon that does VSG. HOORAY!! *happy dance* I have been referred to Dr. Ayloo at UIC. Anyone familiar with her? I'm going to the required informational seminar on 11/5 at 5pm. Any other Chicago area people going to this seminar? I'd love to meet you!! I'm back on cloud 9. Now, I just have to hope that all the pre-op stuff I've done under the direction of my PCP will be acceptable for this surgeon. I'm so excited - I wonder how long til I could get a surgery date? eeeeeekkkkk