Kime-lou

At the start of this journey in June 2012 I was excited and ready to go. I was determined that I was going to be a big looser. Next week I will be 8 months out and I have only lost 50 lbs. I really did think I would lose more in this time. Even though my doc seems happy enough I am still frustrated. When I went in for a fill last week my weight was up 1 lb from what it was at the prior visit- total bummer. Even though just days earlier I had seen the lowest weight ever on the scales (193) since that my weight in 2 days jumped to 197 then drop right back down to 194- had to be water weight right? Well for the last week and a half my weight has been bouncing from the 193's to the 195's each morning (I weight the same time of day in the same thing so it is constant). I am not over eating, I am not eating calorie loaded things, I have a calorie deficit each day. Right now I am not working out because I have felt like crap from having sinus issues. The hubs keeps telling me it's because I'm not working out. While I know I could find the time to fit it in, it is hard. I am tired, really tired by the time I finish all my have to's for the day. I am taking my C, D and B vitamins that my doctor perscribed. While I know plateaus are normal course, I hate that it happend so early in the game. I have told many people you don't fail until you stop trying. I am still trying, but it is so hard to stay positive. While I feel like I am in a green zone. 1 cup can totally hold me for 4-5 hours and even then I am not starved. My doc said not to miss meals so I have to set a timer on my phone to remind me it's time to eat. I am starting to feel like that is all I do. Breakfast at 6 (Oatmeal) Snack 10:00 (greek yogurt) Lunch 12-1 depends on what is going on at work What depends on what we had the night before. ~Snack - 4 ish depends on what I had for lunch- if I am really not hungry I just can't make myself eat Dinner- 5:30 to 6:30 depending on when the hubs gets home I am feeling like I am damed if I do and damed if I don't.

Thanks Zita- I appreciate that wisdom. God don't create no junk and He created me!!!

Awesome. If you have sleep apnea always use the CPap. Sleep apnea can be deadly. I use to do sleep studies to test for this and I had many patients scare me with how low their blood oxygen levels would get during the night- brain damage low. Depending on the type of sleep apnea you have you may be able to come off of it once you loose the weight. Obstuctive apnea are often caused by weight. Good Luck to you!

Thanks for sharing- I had wondered what to do in this case. Thankfully I have had it happen and don't want it to, but figure it will happen at some point.

Growing up I was always the wall flower. I was the kid a teacher never knew was in class. I was quiet and kept to myself for the most part. While I did have friends, I was careful at school not to get in trouble or break rules, that was just me. I was never loud or abnoxius and never wanted to go against the grain. I was a blender, always blending into the back ground where ever I was. As I got older this trend continued, the only place where I would step up and take a lead was in my job, because that is where I have to. Being a manager I had to be the head of what I did and often times would have to public speak, but that was fine because it was my area of expertise. I always thought my wall flowerness was due to my weight and my not wanting to be seen. But, after losing 50 lbs I have come to see this is just who I am. I still am not a flashy person. I don't like wearing things that make me stand out- I wear normal colors not flashy bright ones. I won't color my hair a odd color for me because it would draw attention. While I feel better about myself I am still the same old wall flower. Even on this site, I post questions and post blogs on a regular basis, but many times do not get feed back or response, which frankly is a little disheartening. But, I must except I am the wall flower and that is just who I am. Maybe one day I will bloom into a beautiful rose that is noticed, but I doubt it, but I am me.

Are you getting the needed amount of water? Are you getting in your protein? These are very important to the weight loss process. Also, are you still taking vitamins? If not you may need to start, both B vitamins and D are nessasary to weight loss and if you aren't getting enough from your diet this could hinder the results. Also, go see a nutritionist. I was banded 6/22/12 and have lost 50 lbs. To start with I was eating 1200-1300 calories and the weight was coming off. Now it has slowed to a stop. At my last visit I was told at this point I need to have only a 300-500 calorie deficit a day or my body would try to hold on to the weight. A NUT can look at what you are eating and doing and make suggestions that may get you moving again. As my doctor told me the most important thing on this journey is to try not and get discouraged and quit trying because sometimes out body is just going to plateau even if we are doing everything right. Ride the wave my friend! Good Luck.

Some of you know that I have had 3 miscarriages. My hub and I have no problem getting pregnant, but I just can't get past the 1st trimester. Well in the last week I have had 2 friends give birth and 2 annouce they are pregnant. My BFF for 20 years called me yesterday to tell me her news, she is pregnant with baby number 2. She is already through her 1st trimester and just found out she is preg. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her and her husband. They have one daughter and have been trying for 3 years for another child with no luck. They had given up hope, but low and behold she is preg and 3 months in. Her due date is my granfather's birthday. While I am happy for her, my heart does break for my babies, my 3 that I can't hold. My doctor told me I could try again this summer and we plan to, but I am just so scared. All the test they have done have come back with nothing wrong, so they have no idea why I keep miscarring. My OB/GYN says that as soon as I think I am preg, like one day late, to come in and he will do an ultrasound and if I am he will start progestrone to hopefully keep the baby. I don't know what will happen, but I am scared. I am scared of gaining to much weight, I am scared of losing the baby, I am scared I will never have a baby. The name of today's game just seems to be scared!

I went in for a fill today, my weight had gone up by 5 lbs since last week so I wasn't thrilled about going in. I went in they weighed me- up 1 lbs since last month!!!!!! I was pissed. She checked my band and gave me another cc - I always get fills with floro. I told her about my weight jump from last week and explained it was my TOM time even though I don't actually bleed. She said that the weight fluctuation was not abnormal, that everyone will have fluctuations from week to week. She also ask how many calories my fitbit said I was burning a day- I told her between 2000-2200 depending on if I work out or not. She ask about my eating habits - I told her I was only eating 3 times a day and sometimes having an afternoon snack. She ask about my calorie intake- I told her I was getting between 1200-1300 a day. Surprise- she said I'm not getting enough calories. Now this is what my doc said, I trust my doctor, she is a Duke Doc, I have full confidence in her- do please do not bash her or me; if you doc said something else fine ok, I am just putting out there what mine said. She said that since I am now over 6 months post that eating 1200 calories a day isn't enough. She said that having a 3-500 calorie a day deficit was good, but not more because the body would not let go of the fat- sorta like starvation mode. She said if I upped my workout routine to up calories. To try and keep my deficit around 3-500 for optimum weight loss. So I am going to try and see what happens. Maybe it has to do with where I am in weight- I don't know, but she is my doctor, she is trained, so I will listen to her. If you don't agree fine, but again don't bash!!

If my tummy looked like that I would consider it to!! If you want one go for it, if you decide you don't like it or you don't want it anymore when you get older just take it out and let the hole close. I say if you want it - go for it!!

LOL - Thanks for the mental imagine at the end. I can so see me doing something like that. I really hope they can fix whatever is going on and hopefully easily.

I was told at the start of my journey to drink at the least 60 oz of water a day, but more would be better. During the week I do great, drinking around 100 oz. Well guess what during the week my weight goes down! On the weekends I am a slacker. The hubs and I don't have kids and take advantage of sleeping in on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We normally rise around 8-9 am verses our M-F routine of getting up at 5. We are not morning people and never have been. However, this getting up late wreaks havoc with my water intake. I strictly follow my doctors rule of not drinking during or 30 min after a meal. I find this is a big help in not getting hungry so soon. When I don't get up until 8-9, I miss out on getting that extra time for fluids. On M-F I would have already downed about 60 oz. I tend to drink very little between dinner time and bed time for potty reasons, therefore, I don't drink as much as I should. Looking back over my records for the past couple of months the pattern that I see is, my weight drops during the week and on the weekends rises. I believe this is for 2 reasons- 1-Friday night is my night off cooking (this was established at the on set of the relationship and I like it!) We eat out, but I choose as healthy as possible, but the sodium levels do tend to be high (read water retention) 2- Since I do not drink enough water on the weekends the water that is retained due to the upped sodium count is not flushed out. The pattern clear shows that from Friday morning to Sunday morning my weight will go up about 2-3 lbs. By Tuesday morning my weight is back down lower than it was on Friday morning due to getting in all the extra water on Monday. So, it looks like I must get better at the water on the weekends thing. But, this does clearly show me that my water intake as well as my sodium intake has a big effect on my weight. This is my little scientifc experiment.

This morning I did my norm morning routine. Got up pottied and got on the scale before dressing (TMI I know, but it is always best to weigh in you birthday suit). The hubs walks in and hugs me and says "geez I can reach my elbows when I wrap my arms around you". Then he said "I'm proud of you babe, but don't get so skinny I have to shake the sheets to find ya". For those who don't know my husband is visually impaired. His vision is 20/800 - legally blind since birth. Granted he is well educated graduated with honors with a degree in computer science and is a well respected software engineer. He just can't see very well. So it's always been the running joke that he feel for me because I was large print (he always replied to that with you said that not me). Now he is joking saying I am getting so small he won't be able to see me anymore. The joking is all in fun- he is very supportive of my weight loss journey and is helping me leaps and bounds. But I must say it would be nice for him to have to shake the sheets to find me

There are so many pleasures that I never knew in my life. Simple Pleasures: Walking or power walking with the dogs on a pretty day. Breathing clean and clear without wheezing. Walking fast and not having to stop and catch my breath before I speak. Walking into a store and buy a pair of pants where the size doesn't start or end with W. Not getting the worlds worst wedgy when wearing short. Not having my full coverage panties (granny panties) turn into thongs. Having energy to not only do what I must but wanting to do more. Not being feeling self conscious all the time. Not being afraid to step on the scale at the doctors office. Being willing to stand up for myself rather than just wanting to fade into the back ground. Having my life not revolve around food. There are so many more simple pleasures that I am sure I will find as my weight continues to go down, but these are the ones that I am seeing thus far. What simple pleasures are you enjoying?

I literally had to make a cacoon of sorts. I had 2 body pillows - one on each side and one pillow over my abdomen and two under my head and one under my knees. There was barely any room in the bed for my husband. But, this was the only way I could sleep for the first week and a half.

I wasn't told not to eat popcorn and nuts, I was told not to for 6 months and after that they were fine. I eat a lot of almonds, cashews and pecans. I make cheese lace "cookies" crackers- whatever you wanna call them and they are yummy and satisfy my taste for salty. I spray a cookie sheet with pam and sprinkle a little Colby jack cheese in a thin layer and bake for a few. They get crispy.

Well it's been an odd week for me. The hubs Big 40 was last week. We had a party for him last Sunday night. Instead of B-day cake he wanted his fave cheesecake and I made brownies to. Most of the left overs I sent home with friends. Kept a couple and we had those the first of the week. Mid-week my PMS mode hit, which means grumpy and craving. Since being banded I haven't really had any horrible cravings for sweets, I've wanted them, but not to the point I have this week. I am guessing this is a case of your mind gets a little and it wants more of that drug. On Friday of this week NC got hit with an ice storm - nothing horrible, but enough to send us home from work and keep us in until afternoon on Saturday. Friday my hubs wanted pizza. Well this hasn't been an issue for me before, but.... I ordered a large since I could get it for free, just figured we would eat on it for a couple of days (WRONG). For lunch I was starved and ate 2 slices of my veggie side and felt way to full (I know this wasn't good for my band and I shouldn't have, but I can't change what was only what is to come), at dinner I wasn't really hungry, but at another piece anyway and felt even worse. By bedtime I felt like crap. My tummy hurt and I felt bloated. Lesson learned.... I am feeling like I am reverting back to my old ways and that scares me worse than anything. My band is there to help me, but if I refuse to listen to it, it can't and won't help. I know that I must get back on track and get myself back on the plan and biggest thing listen to my band. As my mom said when I was little there is a big difference in hearing and listening. I hear my band tell me no I don't want that, but I ignored it this weekend. Today after returning home from my Dad's 65th b-day party I found myself standing in my kitchen looking around for something to eat, yet I wasn't hungry. My feeling down and out today doesn't help eating issues, but at least I am realizing what triggers I have and trying to change which I have not done in the past. While at Dad's party, sitting with my niece who is a cute perky 17 year old size 0, I watched what and how she ate. She ate really slow. She got up to toss her plate and still had half of her cake and some ice cream on it- she said she was full. I guess that is why she is a size 0. She opts to stop when she is full no matter how much is left on her plate. This is something I can learn from her. Like I have often said this journey isn't the easy every day, but it is a journey worth making. For those of you support and encourage me thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I am going to fall from time to time on my journey and it helps having the awesome people on this site to help me stand back up and keep moving forward.

I can find both the dressing and marinade in NC and VA. I use the marinade on chopsteaks.

Ok- here is the pychologist in me..... Anger is a secondary emotion and in this case I think the anger mostly stems from fear of the unknown or jelously. Let me give you an example.... My BFF had gastric bypass in 2009 and lost 120 lbs in a year. After her weight loss she went to an orentation for a new job. (She is a nurse) The people in her group were discussing WLS patients. One of the guys in the group said "I can spot WLS patient a mile a way, they look horrible, all that hangin skin and sunk in eyes- I'd rather be fat". (the guy was obese) My friend ask, "well do you think anyone in this group has had WLS?" He said "no, everyone looks pretty normal" She smiled and said, "thanks, but I had WLS a year and half ago and have lost 120 lbs.". We figured this guy was just afraid of WLS, while he could benefit from it he was scared. To each his own, but I like you wish people would just respect another person's choice.

I have figured out that a lot of the reason I use to eat had nothing to do with hunger. see something- eat it. Smell something- eat it. Board- eat Worried- eat Meal time - eat I ate my way to almost 250 and I knew it had to stop. Now I am much more selective about what and when I eat. I now eat 3 meals a day and sometime one snack. I still eat things I love, but I eat less or them. Today I walked into the breakroom at work, there was a smorgasborg or treats: grapes, cheese, crackers, pimento cheese, rolls, celery. While these foods aren't bad foods, I didn't eat them, I wasn't hungry. In times past I would have fixed a nice rounded plate and gone back to my corner office and ate up. While my mouth and mind were saying yummy, just one bite, my tummy was saying, but hey yo I don't want any, not hungry please don't. My eyes, mouth and mind get me in a lot of trouble when it comes to food. My husband in blind, but very strong resourcful, brillant wonderful man; but he can't see the foods laying around. He never picks and taste at things, he doesn't graze. He eats his 3 meals and about 2 snacks a day and that is it. He isn't tempted by the stuff laying around because he can't see it. Now at meals he eats well, but that is a different story. But, I think I need to become more like him; blind to the food just laying around. When I make a concious effort not to indulge I am fine, but when I uncounsiously peck I will pay with weight gain. In my wieght loss journey I need to get my mind, mouth and tummy all on the same page.

I agree with you. I know I could eat more than that cup of food, maybe even as much as I use to at times, but I don't because that isn't why I had this surgery. I may not get the totally full stuffed feeling from a cup, but it satisfys my hunger and keeps me from getting hungry for 4 hours and that is great. Some people just have false expectations of what the band does and can do.

For some people emotions won't set them back, but for me I believe the answer would be yes. I am on Paxil for an anxiety disorder. Before I started getting treated I felt like I had to be in control of everything or I was going to bust. I would eaisly get frustrated and irritated. I wasn't happy with that life. I spoke to my doctor about it and he suggested Paxil. I wasn't thrilled with taking meds, but I tried it because I was sick of living like that. My life has gotten so much better, I am happy and can let things roll off my back and I don't get so worked up over things. While yes, SSRI's can cause you to gain weight the reason is mostly because it increases your hunger. I haven't had much trouble with it, I have lost 50 lbs in 7 months. (starting at 244).

I have always dreamed of being the thin pretty girl that I have never been. Before I started school I was trim and cute, but then I started school and packed on the pounds. No idea what started this, but I am guessing emotional eating. My weight only balloned each year. I was always jealous of the pretty girls and just wished I could be like them. However, I am pretty happy with the woman I grew in to. I am compasionate, caring, loving, and pretty nonjudgemental. If I had been a skinny girl I may not be who I am now, but now that I am an adult I am ready to bring the outside up to par with the inside. I don't believe I am a told dog, but I am not Jennifer Aniston by any means. As I lose weight and develop curves, my dimples can be seen, I am losing the extra chins, I feel people can start to see the real me. I am less worried about how people preceive my outside and my inside more easily shine though. I am fairly certain I will never be a size 2, and honestly I don't want to me. I size 10/12 would be just fine for me. I want to live realisticly, I want to enjoy food, I want to enjoy activity, I don't want to be hindered by my weight any longer. For years I just ate whatever I wanted and over time I was able to eat more and more. Now I still want to eat yummy foods, but I am learning I can eat less and still be satisfied. I am learning that food doesn't need to be the center of my life. While I won't be Jennifer Aniston (looks) or Marian Jones (athlectic), I just want to be me in a healthy form. In a form that allow my inside to shine through so people can see the real me.

I was always told I could eat normally before a fill, but after a fill liquids.

I met my wonderful amazing husband 5 years ago and married him 3.5 years ago. He is my biggest fan and support. Once he went to the seminar on WLS he was fully supportive of me having the band. Over the next couple of months I hemed and hawed about would I be, could I be successful on this journey. He kept telling me that ofcourse I would, I just needed to commit to him as I did him. Soooo....... I am in a committed relationship with my band. My band is 100% behind me losing weight. While my band can't prevent me from eating more than I should or eating things that are unhealthy for me; it can help me stay satisfied longer on less, that is if I allow it to. When I think about my band from this perspective- I think about I would never cheat on my husband why would I want to cheat on my band. Ruining my marriage would be painful, but ruining my band and having to have another surgery wouldn't be a walk in the park either. Just like with a marriage you have to work at it, I have to work at my band life. Some days it will be easy and other days it won't, but I don't give up on my marriage just because of one road bump and I won't give up on my band either. Just like I want my marriage to last forever, I want my band life to last to. So with this being said.... ( I am calling my band George) I promise to love, honor, and cherish George forever!! Are you in a committed relationship with your band?

I have only lost 50 lbs in 7 months, but you know what, I lost what I committed to lose. I could have lost more if I would have followed 100%, that doesn't mean my band failed nor me, it is what it is. You get out what you put in. People just don't get that. While I am not 100% perfect band patient I take full resposibility for that.